"What is an analogy that gets your point across perfectly, but is wildly inappropriate?"

"Any situation"

Reddit top voted answers...

Success is like being pregnant. People will congratulate you, but no one knows how many times you were fucked before you got there.

As a kid, I was pretty much clueless about non-traditional families. When I was 10 or so, my single aunt had a beautiful baby girl. I could not figure out where her dad was. It was a mystery to me and I wanted to solve it. I really did not get anywhere with my parents or my aunt. They simply did not want to discuss it. I remember sitting under an oak tree with my grandpa on a warm summer evening, I saw my chance and took it. I explained my confusion at not knowing who my cousin's dad was and frustration that no one would talk to me about it.
Grandpa smiled and said "Bug, these things are not always easy to understand. And sometimes it is not our place to understand them. But, you can think of it like this: When you put your hand in a blackberry bush to grab a blackberry, most times you will get poked by a thorn or two. The sad fact is, it is very hard to know exactly which thorn it was that poked you."
I had no clue what he was talking about, but that seemed to put the issue to rest for my little mind. A good bit later, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I finally got what he was trying to say and just laughed and laughed.
All these years later, it still makes me laugh. Grandpa was the best.

At age 95, George Burns was asked how his sex drive was. He replied "Like playing pool with a rope."

I once had a manager who, completely out of the blue one day (i.e. he was never one to really swear in the office) when a client was pissed with us, said "well if they're gonna fuck us in the ass, at least they'll end up with shit on their dicks". It was the most bizarre yet strangely funny thing I've ever heard at my job.

Anal sex is a lot like broccoli. If you're forced to have it as a child, you won't enjoy it as an adult.