Whose your Dada!

Whose your Dada!

Why it is me!

Idi Amin Dada!

But as proud as I am of you I am even more proud of an actual son of my lions. You see the annual meeting of Dictators, Genocidal Maniacs and Bad guys was held in 1978 in Haiti. Papa Doc had us all there. Colonel Kadafy. Cinescu. Kim El Jong. Fidel. Pol Pot. Joan Rivers. They were all there.

It was a great time like it always is when the gang gets together. Colonel Kadafy shared some of his female bodyguards who really knew how guard your body. Fidel brought a bunch of cigars. Pol Pot had some great Thai food. And our host Papa Doc imported a lot of beautiful girls. Mostly from the Dominican.

No don't get me wrong. The women of Haiti are beautiful but the voodoo thing is cause for some concern. You don't want them putting a curse on your little Idi if you can avoid it. So some hot Latin mamacita's were perfect for a little fun in the sun.

The girl I met was a beautiful senorita who claimed to be a medical student who was working her way through school. But they all say that. Juanita Ortiz was so hot and we had sex all day long. It was among the best experiences I ever had. Well except for the time I met that Australian Ho in the outback and after we had sex I knocked her out and put her on a spit and…..errr….this was really great.

What I didn't know is that the little minx had conceived from my mighty Amin sperm. And we had a Son. Little David. Little David Ortiz.

My son grew up to be big and strong. Like most Dominicans he had to choose between being a drug dealer, owning a bodega or becoming a baseball player. Luckily he could hit. He had a big bat. Much like me his father. He became a star. For the Red Sox my favorite team. And the team that is the favorite of all the dictators. He made me very proud. Someday I hope he will come to visit me here in Scotland. 

We have much to discuss.

WHOSE YOUR DADA!!!!!!!!!!!!!