Wednesday, September 10, 2014

"The cologne started the part of my story that is much harder to tell"

"One Saturday afternoon a few months after our first date, I opened one of the cards and then smelled it as he beamed on proudly. I sniffed and joked “like a woman” because he was the first man I ever knew to send a scented envelope."

"I know it’s a cliche, but if I close my eyes, I can still see that moment in slow motion. His face changed from beaming to furious. And suddenly, I was on the floor. It wasn’t until he extended his hand down to me saying, “Oh baby I am so sorry! Why did you have to say that? I’m so sorry!” that I realized I was on the floor because his fist had put me there. I actually thought for a second that a piece of the ceiling must have fallen down. Surely Hank couldn’t have hit me? That was something that happened to other people." (read more the whole thing)

Why I married My Abuser

17 comments:

Unknown said...

the answer is you leave after the first hit.

Unknown said...

The first inning? The game ends in a loss no matter what, so get to the parking lot early.

Michael Haz said...

Or maybe the answer is you don't rush into a relationship out of desperation, and then stay around long enough for the first hit to happen.

Shouting Thomas said...

Yet another volley of domestic violence hysteria served up by a feminist indoctrinated press.

Women commit domestic violence, too. Rice's wife hit him, too, a fact that seems to have gone unnoticed.

Very high rates of DV are reported for lesbian couples.

Rice should not lose his job. Courts and the legal process can attend to adjudicating his purported offense. It's not the NFL's job to punish him by taking away his livelihood.

Amartel said...

She tries early on to eliminate a complete lack of self-respect as a reason why she stuck around (or fell for this predatory zero in the first place) but that's exactly the reason.

Shouting Thomas said...

Why is everybody ignoring the fact that this woman attacked Rice with her fists flailing?

This was not an unprovoked attack, not at all like the story linked to this post.

A lot of black women know how to fight and do damage. The apparent assumption that the woman's attack must be harmless is BS.

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

When Ray Rice knocked his wife out cold in a public place, he can't complain that losing his job is unfair.

Shouting Thomas said...

When Ray Rice knocked his wife out cold in a public place, he can't complain that losing his job is unfair.

Well, yes, he can.

This is another of those public moral panics over a purported "epidemic" against one of the protected groups, in this case women.

There is no "greater issue" at stake here.

The Dude said...

Does the NFL have a morals clause in player contracts? Something about damaging the value of the shield or some other boilerplate bs? If so, and Rice signed it, then he should have known that by first allowing that woman to hit him, then his knocking her out in a public place might result in loss of employment.

But he is dumber than a bag of hammers on steroids, so one really can't expect him to understand much beyond HIT GOOD!

I am over the NFL. I am sure they will get along just fine without me.

Trooper York said...

What is really amazing is that she even lets him moderate her blog.



Trooper York said...

What?

Dust Bunny Queen said...

the answer is you leave after the first hit.

Coming in late here. The first hit in an abusive relationship doesn't always equate to an actual KAPOW!!..... hit. Most abusive relationships start out very innocuous. Little baby steps of depriving you of freedom and of self respect, self esteem. You don't recognize what is happening because it is like the frog in the hot water getting gradually hotter.

The article is stupid because no one [who had any common sense or self respect] would ever go with such an arrangement as the author says... Wham...Baaam. Black eyes. Those issues come far beyond the beginning stages.

Not to trivialize her experience. But... people need to realize that what she describes is not a sudden onslaught of violence but a slow simmering boil of degradation.

Unknown said...

Hi DBQ. I think what you say is right. but in the article, which more than likely whitewashes and skims and skips, she talks about how much he swept her off her feet. The over the top attention and cliché romance. he lured her in, then pow. But I think that isn't what happened. He more than likely started cutting off her freedoms and increased her isolation all the while he was in full romance mode. Just like you say - frog in warm water.

rcocean said...

Sorry but who cares? Every person is different. Every marriage is different. Don't mind the beatings because he "loves you"? Fine. Willing to leave after the 1st baby slap? Fine.

Its all up to you Babe. No one forced you to get married and no one is forcing you to stay apart.

The old days where wifey had to stick by the old man because she couldn't get meal without his paycheck are long gone.

And of course, if you wish to marry a semi-rich football player who knocks you out, go for it.

Sydney said...

Is that why she's wearing sunglasses at her wedding?

Chip Ahoy said...

Sunglasses, yes.

And no matter how you dress it up, that walker she's using is throwing off the whole wedding dress presentation.

Unknown said...

lol - I musta been tired last night. I repeated what you said, DBQ.