Proflowers

Mother's day May 11, 2014.

Proflowers, what you see; what you get.

Poorly reviewed online.

Site jabber 1.5 stars out of five stars

Fat wallet, some people like it, most people do not.

Flowers arrive as buds. The scheme is planned that way. Flowers bloom at different rates so the arrangement of different type blooms shown is not what occurs at home. People report some roses not opening at all. Separate species of cut flowers are shipped in a box each stem with their own separate life sustaining glass vial, a test tube with a rubber stopper. So they start out looking alright in the box. The vase is well protected. They are not arranged as with baby's breath, just the flowers and vase, it is up to the recipient to do the trimming and the arrangement.

This would baffle my mother to bits. I know that as fact. She would not be able to comply with instructions to cut the stems first, trim leaves, add whatever else to complete an arrangement, trim stems and leaves, add elements not shipped such as bizarrely shaped twigs, and spacing plants such as baby's breath, add nutrients, change water, then within three days recut the stems, change the water, and re-feed. All that was well beyond her. 

My favorite thing was buy flowers out of the grocery store cooler and and create an arrangement myself using one of her vases, a feat that completely mystified her and she said so. She said to another woman, "I don't know how he does it."

"I have the gene, Mum." 

"What?"

"Never mind." 

But flowers for Mum, any plant for that matter, is tantamount to consigning them to certain prompt death. In her world it is the thought that counts, then they die. And quickly too. Like that *snap* 

I'd do the same thing for my landlady, buy the same bunches. Two completely different reactions. Mum would be all, "These should be red" no matter what color or type best on that day, and the plants would go limp, dying, dead within just a few days, the dead curled flowers displayed as corpses as reminder of what was, while my landlady would flip right out properly thrilled with receiving a bouquet and she'd care for them tenderly extending their life by weeks. I am not exaggerating. The contrast was between them sharp as could be. 

That was fun. I should do that again for the ladies I know now. What an unexpected surprise that will be. I forgot until right now how fun that was.