Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Four Russian Travel Tips For Visiting America

What is Russia's take on American etiquette for Russians who are planning to travel to America and spend time here?  I hope they begin by recommending the Vodka thread elsewhere on Lem's Blog, but I'm not certain the Russkis have picked up on it just yet, judging by the comments.

Anyhow.  Four things visiting Russians are reminded to remember when in America.

On giving gifts to Americans:
Business gifts in the U.S. are not acceptable. Moreover, they often cause suspicion. Americans fear that they could be construed as a bribe, and in the United States that is strictly punishable by law.
On talking to American women:
 US etiquette prohibits flirting with a woman who is not your girlfriend or wife. If you are not acquainted with a woman, whether she be in a restaurant, on the street, or on the subway, do not look at her legs, etc. Americans could easily call the police on you, even for just ogling her.
On socializing with Americans:
Showing up at a business associate’s home uninvited in the United States is not acceptable. You may be invited to a picnic –if you’ve known each other for several years and are social outside the office. As a rule, the invitation will be only on a weekend, and you don’t have to prepare for something extravagant. Everything is the same as ours, only with far less booze. Bring something sporty - ball, badminton, Americans are certainly fervent fans of these things.
On American optimism:
These people get used to smiling from the cradle onwards, so they do not pretend to be cheerful. The desire for a successful happy life is inculcated from childhood.
I know a few Russians who now live in America.  It's a safe bet none of them read this article.  Unless there was a part two that included advice for the newly arrived Russian travelers to spend all day at the same table in a coffee shop arguing Russian politics, regard quart bottles of vodka as snack food, yell at everyone about everything, pound strangers on their backs at random moments, and consider following the law a semi-amusing theory.

Except Irina, the lovely Russian woman who opened a restaurant near my home, and is responsible for 39 of the 40 pounds I am overweight.

22 comments:

Shouting Thomas said...

You can look at women as much as you look. A degree of discretion and a willingness to back off are required.

You'll never get a Russian to cool it on the drinking. Russians damned near killed me with their vodka. Worse in some ways than rock musicians.

Revenant said...

Many years ago I found a brilliantly helpful site for travelling businessmen, that gave a run-down on dozens of countries (the US included) and social rules relating to doing business in them. I lost the URL and have pined for it since.

It was interesting to see some of the things that got called out. Not just the obvious, like gifts and punctuality, but things like "how do you identify who the important people are". The entry on the United States pointed out that identifying the important people is extremely difficult. The guy who shows up early to set up the projector could be the executive VP of sales and marketing, for all you know.

Michael Haz said...

Even though it is used by Yackov Smirnoff in comedy routines, it is not acceptable to say "Is that a ricotta filled blintze, or are you just happy to see me?" among most groups in America.

ndspinelli said...

I have a friend who was working counterintelligence for the FBI back in the 80's. He was undercover as a businessman and was working some Russian spies posing as businessmen. Now, my friend can drink. But he said Russians are fucking animals when it comes to drinking.

Michael Haz said...

I'd like to have the members of the Russian women's curling team work on my kitchen floor.

edutcher said...

I remember Moscow being described as a gray city, and the author wasn't talking about the weather.

PS I've known several Russian ladies, all quite high-spirited.

The Dude said...

Sounds like a recent retweet of yours. Hmm - what is it I always say "Steal from the best"? Yeah, I stole that line.

bagoh20 said...

Overall, I find that whole thing kind of flattering of American culture.

ricpic said...

Is it really true that American etiquette frowns on flirting? What a terrified people we are if so. More like terrorized.

rcocean said...

Russians should also know that when an American says "call me a Cab" you shouldn't say "OK, you're a Cab".

rcocean said...

Russians should also be warned that bad Puns are punishable by life imprisonment in America.

Revenant said...

Is it really true that American etiquette frowns on flirting? What a terrified people we are if so. More like terrorized.

It isn't normally considered appropriate behavior from strangers, outside of areas where you'd expect it (like a bar or a party).

ricpic said...

Fifty miserable years have I lived in America cowering under this table where I thought at least I'd be safe and now I'm up on sexual harassment charges for ogling the table legs OY!

deborah said...

I think in some Middle Eastern countries you shouldn't admire an object in your host's home or he's obliged to give it as a gift to you.

deborah said...

The one about our optimism is flattering. Gee, we're cool.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Well, I don't know about all of that advice.

There is nothing wrong with a small thoughtful gift when meeting with a prospective partner in a commercial venture. Keep it topical, something from your country to theirs. Keep it small enough in dollar value that it isn't a threat.

Flirting a bit is ok. It can be flattering. Ogling, grabbing, drooling and not getting the message to back the fuck off is not OK. Probably something to do with the vodka overload. You get that same treatment in a biker bar at 1am. So not so much Russian as it is...just drunken guys.

Um...yeah. Don't show up unannounced at my house. That goes for my relatives and friends too. But if you do, you'd better bring a nice bottle of scotch. All will be forgiven.

Now...if you want to talk convoluted social rules..>Japan.

Michael Haz said...

There was no mention of transgendered bathrooms in the article.

Or how to make Americans stop talking about the New York Giants after the first sixty minutes of conversation.

Just sayin'.

ndspinelli said...

Haz w/ an uppercut to the jaw!!

deborah said...

If Trooper was up yet, he'd say...well, I know he'd say somethin'.

Trooper York said...

Hey I am up!

It is just that all of the posts here today are kind of boring.

I was busy reading "Television Without Pity" and "Stoopid Housewives."

Trooper York said...

Plus I am examining line sheets and photos of bras for an expansion of the lingerie department. I will be going to the "Curve" show and will be enduring models sticking their tits and ass in my face day after day as we place orders for bras and panties and teddies and all of that stuff.

Christy said...

Maybe flirting doesn't mean what I think it means.