Tuesday, December 31, 2013

"I know that you will fart on me"

"Nobody wants to sit next to a fat person on a plane. Don't think we don't know."

"I have, in my life, been a considerably thinner person and had a fat person sit next to me on a plane. I have also, more recently, been the fat person that makes other travelers' faces fall. Anecdotally, I can verify that being the fat person is almost indescribably worse."
 
 

30 comments:

Shouting Thomas said...

Jezebel... Finding a new way to feel abused every day!

deborah said...

Lem, I look forward to finding a use for the 'fear-based silence' tag.

Trooper York said...

Nothing is worse than sitting next to someone with a baby.

The fucking little piece of shit will wail the whole flight long. You want to open the window and throw the fucker out into the Grand Canyon.

That is what sucks about flying.

Sixty Grit said...

And Happy New Year to you, Trooper!

Babies screaming never bothered me, but having a brat kick my seat back from Scotland to NYC was almost enough to get me annoyed.

I once sat next to a guy with Tourette's syndrome from Chicago to Portland. Guy twitched and ticked the whole way - didn't bother me - I only had to deal with it for a few hours - that poor bastard had to live with it ever hour of every day.

Lem said...

...a use for the 'fear-based silence' tag.

Oh, there are a lot of those, everyday.

Lem said...

Whatever happened to the lovable, fun, smiling happy fat people I used to see all the time when I was younger?

Granted, there were fewer of them, it seems.

Amartel said...

Jezebel Automatic Make-a-Whinge:

1. Be a nuisance;
2. Aggressively demand that your particular nuisance factor be accommodated at the expense of others OR ELSE;
3. Start a fight, a physical fight, with anyone who betrays their thoughtcrime by demurring, even under their breath;
4. Yeah, you go girl, put your back fat into it and just give 'em a kick;
5. Assume hate and victimization based on facial expressions of people you don't know, statements of concern by people you do know, and that one time someone may have muttered some sort of objection to being squashed for five hours;
6. Blame everyone else (the airlines, other people);
7. Never blame yourself (fat occurs spontaneously!).

Trooper York said...

Don't mind me I just hate kids.

I think there is proper place for children.

In a sack at the bottom of a well.

Oh and one more thing.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Amartel said...

Jezebel Automatic Make-a-Whinge:

1. Be a nuisance;
2. Aggressively demand that your particular nuisance factor be accommodated at the expense of others OR ELSE;
3. Start a fight, a physical fight, with anyone who betrays their thoughtcrime by demurring, even under their breath;
4. Yeah, you go girl, put your back fat into it and just give 'em a kick;
5. Assume hate and victimization based on facial expressions of people you don't know, statements of concern by people you do know, and that one time someone may have muttered some sort of objection to being squashed for five hours;
6. Blame everyone else (the airlines, other people);
7. Never blame yourself (fat occurs spontaneously!).

Lem said...

Happy New Year Trooper.

Lydia said...

Trooper & W.C. Fields--separated at birth?

From W.C.:

--Children should neither be seen nor heard from -- ever again.

--I never met a kid I liked.

--I like children. If they're properly cooked.

--Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child -- if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

--They are also very good with mustard.

--Anyone who hates children and animals can't be all bad.

Birches said...

5.Assume hate and victimization based on facial expressions of people you don't know, statements of concern by people you do know, and that one time someone may have muttered some sort of objection to being squashed for five hours;
6. Blame everyone else (the airlines, other people);
7. Never blame yourself (fat occurs spontaneously!).


Nailed it. I rolled my eyes when she mentioned how some people are fat because they want to be, but some are fat because of thyroid problems and whatnot. I used to be fat; I never blamed it on my thyroid. I recognize that some people are naturally larger than others; it's a fact. But being overweight and obese are completely different scenarios. One can fit in an airline seat, one cannot.

Sixty Grit said...

It's a gland problem. Saliva.

Chip Ahoy said...

Fuck her. The cow annoyed me within paragraphs.

I am that person whose face fell when the cow came pounding into flying cylinder and spotted the empty seat next to me, past the moments I thought I was safe. You and that fat man. God daaaaamn it.

Have another fifteen burritos and box of Twinkies. Here, take my little sack of peanuts, you have that hungry look.

Synova said...

This lady is claiming it's worse to be the fat person.

It's also worse to be the person traveling with the baby. But what are you going to do? Your kids are going to scream, everyone is going to hate you, and you won't be able to carry your luggage because Miami has a "thing" against those rental carts... you're supposed to pay a person to carry your gear, when you've got three kids under age 4 who just had a miserable flight... which only shows that even worse than being the person *with* the babies, to to *be* a baby on a plane.

In any case... it's all pretty stupid. I ride the bus regularly and am very conscious of being a bit wide... but I'm tiny compared to some people. And the thing is... it really does suck to be fat. I was telling my daughter this just yesterday related to the "fat shaming" thing. You can't fit behind the wheel of a car or reach your feet or fit in the lecture hall seat and lots of other things that are just really uncomfortable and inconvenient.

I really like what Trooper has said about mother nature being size 14. We *really* shouldn't be getting all bent out of shape about a little padding or making people feel bad they aren't size 2.

And really, if you're bigger than that it sucks, like being on crutches every day would suck, or having some other constant physical thing would suck. People don't need to be told what they know.

That said... who else is starting a diet this week? ;-)

Amartel said...

There's a case, a good case, to be made for the point that this lady is trying to make. It can't be easy going through life being significantly larger in size than most other people, and I do not doubt that there are plenty of scolds more than eager to let you know you're Doing It Wrong. Fuck them and the school bus they rode in on. Also, airline seats are small. I'm not a person of significant height or weight but I do have long legs and if the person in front of me puts their seat back, my knees get squished. So imagine how it is to be even further wedged by a large person. I've spent long flights unable to move, no armrest space, can't cross or uncross legs, can't stand up. Unpleasant! So, yes, I wince when I see a really big person coming down the aisle in my general direction. Anecdotally (YMMV) they usually plop their shit down like they own the joint and take over the armrests with out apology.

The problem I have with this article is that the author does not make an effective case for her point, probably (just a wild guess since she posts at Jezebel) having been raised on whinge-o-matic progressive dumbass style of argumentation. Claim the moral high ground when no one is looking then exaggerate and misrepresent and ignore opposing viewpoints and don't give ground, ever, no matter what. Attack, attack, attack. Better to name call than lend any legitimacy to the enemy. It's the sort of mindset that allows you to sling vile racial slurs all while pretending to be Champion of Black People or, alternatively, pretend to give a shit about inequality all while promoting policies that ultimately have been shown only to help the rich.

Chip Ahoy said...

This reminded me of an incident at Reno. My brother James used to love that place. A few years ago we stopped there for dinner, driving to Concord. Casinos, big food. Buffets. That is why James loves it. He has his favorite places. He goes, "Hey, Chip, come on, follow me, you're going to love this." He took me wending through a casino across a walkway, to a parking garage, and I think it was the garage with the elevator with a Plexiglas floor. He had just taken up hang gliding on my descriptions of it (I never urged anything, I simply described what happened, never intended to create interest, but that is the way James is. I have to be careful with him sometimes. He is impressionable.) He wanted to a) observe me face the visual challenge of zipping up twenty stories with implacable equanimity, or b) observe me freak the fuck out splendidly. The little shit.

But before that, at the buffet, the real reason we went there, I swear to God, Jack Sprat and his wife who could eat no lean came in right after we sat down. She could also not walk. She could also not carry her own tray. She could not reach to a stack of plates, nor waddle the buffet line, nor stand up long enough to get her own food. So Jack did all that for her.

Back and forth, Jack gets up and Jack gets down and Jack gets up and Jack gets down and Jack gets up and Jack gets down and Jack gets up over and over filling her plates cyclically taking advantage of the attractive prices and quantities and unusually good quality there at the casino until finally the stack of clean plates that began at the start of the buffet line all ended up piled on Jack's and his wife who could eat no lean's table.

Possible exaggeration there.

I never did this before but that time I actually changed seats from 3 o:clock to 9 o:clock to move her out of my visual range. Aaaaw-kweeeeerd because they took up right next us. They zero in on the skinnies most easily abused. Just like the airplane.

Chip Ahoy said...

Actually, I'm an enabler.

))) whap ((( *smacks self* "ouch!"

I just gave away 1/4 LB toffee to a lady much larger than myself because I know that she will love it (and so that she'll like me), and she did! Immediately, ping, like that. So immediate feedback. But mostly because to get it out of here. It's all butter and sugar. Indescribably delicious butter and sugar. Addictive. It crunches in your mouth and falls apart with additional moisture provide by your heavily salivating glands, the oddly dissolving and compressing material fills the depressions in your molars as quickly dissolves and disappears down your throat with the next swallow and you immediately desire another bite.

Heh heh heh heh.

Yes, addictive. It is not sugar anymore. Yes it is. No it's not. Something happened to it, you should'a been there. Fascinating. The way it boils and boils bubbles wildly in a black pot far larger than its contents, like a witches cauldron, the bubbles have strength and do not collapse so they climb on each other and fall back reluctantly, they build up threatening to climb right out of the pot and then at length brown spots appear and the spots grow to patches and the patches take over and the whole color changes as the bubbles roil and pile up on each other faster than they fall back and darken and build up so the whole pot is nothing but darkening bubbles of a very hot fine-smelling spell.

Lydia said...

Okay, maybe it's not the best-written article in the world, but it wouldn't hurt to remember these words:

I'm just telling you, human to human, that life is complicated and fat people are trying to live. Same as you.

and

You don't have to change your mind about fat people. But you could just be fucking kind.

deborah said...

I think fat people should fly in a pressurized cargo hold, in sleeping bags and parkas.

Chip Ahoy said...

Making toffee is casting a spell.

You see, heat is used to slowly transform butter that comes from a cow and sugar that comes from a tropical cane plant, also beets and other things but that stuff is crap, and transforms the molecules, embitters them to an extent that is controlled by temperature and by time, this does take time, and then mixed with special nuts that come from trees, or special legumes grown in dirt, and then the bubbling mass is poured out like magma into a prepared flat pan and allowed to harden. Coated with chocolate, another specialized product of nut from a tropical tree, and more powdered toasted nuts, that now all together contain the magic properties of the spell worked up in the heating, bubbling and coloring and extreme temperature control and procedural timing.

What are the magical properties of the spell?

I do not know. They are uncertain.

It is know the substance is addictive, once started it cannot be stopped until it is gone. Gone. Gone. Gone.

In excess it causes the subject to become fat, their teeth to rot, their hearts to falter eventually fail. So in the long run not altogether beneficial. In the short term, it's nice. It's a nice spell with regrettable long term outcomes.


deborah said...

Chip, you ass, you never even mentioned brickle. Take your red 29-inch waist jeans and SUCK. IT.

Birches said...

@ Lydia

The problem is, the lady is using the fact SHE showed up late (HUNGOVER) for a flight and when someone was annoyed with her, she blamed it on being fat, instead of being a wench.

If she had looked like this, I'm pretty sure the guy would have still been annoyed. Perhaps, he wouldn't have worried so much about his personal space being invaded, but he still would have been thinking, "Why do I always end up next to the crazy ones?"

Birches said...

I'd also like to know how she looked on this 7 AM flight, because someone who was larger, but was wearing clothes from Trooper's shop probably wouldn't get as much of a negative reaction as someone wearing sweatpants who didn't appear to shower that AM.

Is it just me or did anyone else think this kid from the Cosby show probably smelled a little ripe?

deborah said...

"because someone who was larger, but was wearing clothes from Trooper's shop"

LOL damn you, birches. Are you a Trooper troll?

Birches said...

Lol, a little kiss up never hurt.

Seriously though, presentation matters in situations like that. I've got some larger family members, and I used to be overweight and still have a "fat girl" mentality. So I understand about being self conscious, especially when personal space is limited. But people's reactions are different depending on how you look. Happy, clean, larger woman wearing some make up? Probably ok. Frazzled, hungover lady with hole-y pants? Crap, it's going to be a long flight.

deborah said...

LOL, you're good.

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

Does this explain why certain people don't like flying?

deborah said...

Not that I've seen, but she did mention once that she doesn't like to sit next to men in planes in shorts because she doesn't want their skins to touch.

bagoh20 said...

I try to be kind, tolerant and understanding about this stuff, but I have a glandular problem that makes me think fat people should just eat less, and stop whining about taking up more space than one person deserves when it's very limited. Only the fat people have the ability to make the situation better in a fair way - lose weight. I can't help my callousness in this regard - it's hormonal, so don't judge me.