Lem's Levity: *whispers* Bailey, play dead.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

whispers Bailey, play dead.

Where are the dog photos? I was told that a serious blog that features 'writing' must have dog photos as mot less than one-third of its topics

October 23, 2013 at 10:36 AM

31 comments:

The Dude said...: Very unexpected and very funny. How does one teach a dog to do that? Not that I am going to hold my Border Collie in one arm, mind you, but what a funny trick.; October 23, 2013 at 7:27 PM
Titus said...: People, please move on from Althouse.

You sound like high school girls being dropped by the popular jock.

Get over it.

Man up bitches!; October 23, 2013 at 7:28 PM
john said...: No, you dont need no dog videos.

Not yet at least. You need a baseball poll insead, and pretty fast too. TOP has one, and the Cards are crushing the Sox 2:1.

Probably due to that upper midwest snottiness.

Half an hour till the big show.
Get on it Lem.; October 23, 2013 at 7:30 PM
chickelit said...: GO CARDS!; October 23, 2013 at 7:34 PM
rcocean said...: Pets/Dogs/Cats are a staple of ANY popular blog. Also, the following:

01) Sex
02) Hot-button social issues
03) Kids
04) Pretty Girls
05) Sports
06) Popular Culture; October 23, 2013 at 7:37 PM
rcocean said...: Plus, of course, Humor, but it has to be done well - and tastes vary.

Double-edged sword.; October 23, 2013 at 7:38 PM
Titus said...: The major planes with big engines that were very loud just flew by my fab loft at an amazing zip code...Go Sox!; October 23, 2013 at 7:59 PM
rcocean said...: The love of a dog is the best medicine - Ghandi; October 23, 2013 at 8:09 PM
rcocean said...: -Dog is God spelled backwards.
-God is Dead
Therefore my Dog Lives.

Nietzsche; October 23, 2013 at 8:11 PM
rcocean said...: I always order my Manhattan with some Gay bitters.; October 23, 2013 at 8:13 PM
Chip Ahoy said...: Honey, I'm going on David Letterman. Where's my best pants?; October 23, 2013 at 8:39 PM
Chip Ahoy said...: My new thing is keeping browser preferences open and clicking off all the java buttons when I hit a java-heavy website where things follow you all around and poke at you as you proceed. Cleans it right up.

But then when you land on a site that uses Java maturely, properly, as the good Lord intended, then the boxes must all be turned back on again. A place like YouTube is a blank page without it.; October 23, 2013 at 8:45 PM
ndspinelli said...: Letterman used to be my favorite. But, after his girlfriend got pregnant and made him marry her he is a humorless, curmudgeon. He was always liberal but he has gone off the charts. It's supposed to work the other way. The only good part of his show now is Stupid Pet Trcks.; October 23, 2013 at 8:51 PM
Lem the artificially intelligent said...: Score update Red Sox 5, Cards 0, top of the 3rd.; October 23, 2013 at 9:12 PM
Chip Ahoy said...: I have no bitters around here. I do not understand their purpose. Except possibly to make a cocktail. Or perhaps have one sip after a meal so you don't barf. Or something. Like apéritifs or digestifs, I do not understand those things.

I realize this is im muh churr but I'd rather have a coke any day.

Wanna hear about the last time I drank a cuba libre? Okay, goes like this: I took one sip.

This is one of two times that I know of that I was followed by somebody, tailed, followed all the way home, unknowingly to me. So that the person then knows where I live. This was several miles.

He told me later he did. That's how I know.

I met a group of deaf acquaintances at a crowded and noisy, eh, club. I ordered a cuba libre, joined them where they had already collected in one area. The area is a short platform, a step up, separated as a corral, so shelves to place drinks, eight or so such corrals surrounded a dance floor, that is the best I can describe the place. I'm comfortably seated on stool, just joined them. We're catching up.

I take one sip, set down the glass, and realize I cannot really make out what people are saying. The music became more distant and I fell off the stool.

Faces form a circle above me. Arms lift me back onto the stool. I cannot understand a fucking thing my friends are saying to me. They think I'm drunk. Apparently I look it.

I had a seizure, and everyone assumed I was drunk. It's logical.

I finally figured that out.

If my deaf friends relate this incident, they'll probably tell you I was drunk.

But another guy who I don't know not part of the group suddenly appeared and insisted I engage conversationally. He said he had been watching the whole time. He was concerned. And not just regular concerned, but extra concerned! Should he call an ambulance? A cab to go home? Would I like a ride? I refused all that. I just wanted to get out of there so I left. I had no idea the guy followed me home. All the zig-zaggy way. He told me this about a month later when he saw me out and about. He told me that out of concern he followed in his car to make sure I made it okay. A good Sumerian Sumatran xxxxx Samarian.; October 23, 2013 at 9:18 PM
deborah said...: Go Sox.; October 23, 2013 at 9:30 PM
I'm Full of Soup said...: Haz that was too funny!; October 23, 2013 at 9:48 PM
I'm Full of Soup said...: Sorry Lem I am rooting for the Cards and I am surprised Titus is rooting for the Sox since they they one fugly group of players especially with the scraggy beards.; October 23, 2013 at 9:50 PM
rcocean said...: Great story Chip.

My favorite drink is a gin Ricky with lots of fresh lemon juice. Also,Rum with Lime.

Don't know why. I think its the Sweet-sour thing.; October 23, 2013 at 9:51 PM
deborah said...: They tug each other's beards.; October 23, 2013 at 9:52 PM
rcocean said...: I love Titus - I think he's fab and funny.; October 23, 2013 at 10:04 PM
rcocean said...: What *does* Titus think about beards? I'm curious.; October 23, 2013 at 10:05 PM
Lem the artificially intelligent said...: Lem ‏@Lemang01 now
@MarkSimoneNY @corrcomm #Obamacare is @BarackObama #bridgetonowhere

My best tweet so far, all time, it's down hill from here.; October 23, 2013 at 10:21 PM
Lem the artificially intelligent said...: detwitterised that reads...

ObamaCare is Barack Obama's Bridge to Nowhere.; October 23, 2013 at 10:24 PM
Lem the artificially intelligent said...: Who Hired Kathleen Sebelius?

good question; October 23, 2013 at 10:35 PM
Trooper York said...: I used to be the accountant and my wife was the general manager of a bar in Midtown where the Late Night Show had it's Christmas party for a couple of years.

Without exception the woman who worked there hated Letterman. Oh they didn't tell you that straight out but at end of the night with a bunch of cocktails in them they spewed some pretty good venom. It seems Mr. Liberal was some kind of sexual harasser. Big time douche.; October 23, 2013 at 11:31 PM
rcocean said...: Letterman fooled me. Back in the 90s, I used to think he was a free spirit, an anti-establishment type. Remember how me mocked Bryant Gumball and the NBC suits?

Later, he showed himself to be a typical liberal Hollywood elitist. About as anti-establishment as Dick Cavett or Bill Maher - with half the wit.; October 24, 2013 at 12:04 AM
Paddy O said...: "Big time douche."

I thought that was his thing, self-referential big time douche.

And I say that as someone who also watched his show a lot in the 90s.

It's like suddenly being surprised that Obama is indecisive and uncertain.; October 24, 2013 at 12:12 AM
Icepick said...: Letterman was mostly over by the 1990s. His best stuff was mostly in the 1980s.

/ poseur douchiness; October 24, 2013 at 9:17 AM
Eric the Fruit Bat said...: I'm pretty sure someone showed me a clip where David Letterman wore a velcro suit and he jumped onto a wall and he just sort of stuck there.

That was pretty funny, I thought at the time.

Oh yeah, there was also this bit where they ran over a big stuffed smurf doll with a steamroller and it bounced right back into shape and Letterman said something like, "See? It takes more than 10 tons of pressure to keep one of these little guys down."

That was pretty funny too.

Both of those were a long time ago and other than that I really can't say so there you have it.; October 24, 2013 at 9:39 AM
Michael Haz said...: Thanks, Pollo!; October 24, 2013 at 10:12 AM

Lem's Levity

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

whispers Bailey, play dead.

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