Thursday, September 5, 2013

"Testicle-biting fish found in Paris could be on way to UK"

THE Pacu, a fish dubbed the 'ball-cutter' because it has reportedly bitten off men's testicles, has been found in Paris and there are fears it could be making its way to the UK.
The small piranha-like fish was found in European waters for the first time in August with experts warning men to keep their trunks on if swimming in the Øresund channel between Denmark and Sweden.
Now the pacu has been found in the River Seine, The Paris Prefecture of Police newsletter revealed on Tuesday. Although officers were skeptical of the tropical catch, its human-like teeth marked the species as the feared 'testicle eating' pacu.
"They bite because they're hungry, and testicles sit nicely in their mouth."




Testicle Biting Fish?

18 comments:

chickelit said...

This is a tropical fish, thus colder water will help in two ways.

Icepick said...

Um, this story is not funny. So, why aren't we bombing the Hell out of France? That seems much more in the national interest than bombing the Hell out of Syria.

bagoh20 said...

I don't see anything wrong with a bunch of French guys getting their nuts bitten off. It just seems right somehow. I hope the Pacu have a fancy name for the delicacy like the French do for snails and duck liver.

Icepick said...

Bagoh, the problem is those fish can swim elsewhere. If it were only France's problem that would be one thing. But like a cloud of mustard gas, these things can cross borders.

edutcher said...

Another reason to avoid Europe.

yashu said...

Testicule cru

Cojones crudos

Ball tartare

yashu said...

Kintama sashimi

Titus said...

There was a pond on the cape I used to go to where the little fish would nibble on your balls. It was refreshing.

Biting them off not so cool.

The cape is famous for the ocean but there are many beautiful little ponds and one in Truro has ball nibbling fish.

tits.

Rabel said...

Speaking of Balls, Montee should see some playing time tonight for the Broncos.

I saw him in preseason. He's going to be pretty good.

Dante said...

Then there is the Condiru. The Condiru is a fish that is attracted to the urea excreted from the gills of catfish. It likes to swim into gills, use its reverse locking spines, and latch on for some tasty blood treat.

Being attracted to urea, it also is attracted to a man urinating, or perhaps one who hasn't wagged enough. It can, and has, sensed the urea presence, and darted into the unsuspecting man's glans' hole.

Without medical treatment, the result is usually death. But, with, perhaps, amputation can suffice.

So, what do you want more? Your balls or your penis. No balls, there is still hormone replacement therapy. But No Kids. With the balls, but no penis, the fun is gone, but maybe kids.

So, which is it, the Pacu or the Condiru?

(Sorry about that, my youngest incessantly asks me about these questions, so I'm sharing.)

Lem Vibe Bandit said...

Score update: Red Sox 6, Yankees 2.

Bottom of the six.

Rabel said...

Lem, my friend, the NFL season started tonight. It's time to put that wussy, we don't play in the rain shit away.

I kid. I kid.

Lem Vibe Bandit said...

Ha!

Methadras said...

It's gonna be hard for the eurofags to keep their balls away from this fish with their speedo's on.

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

Paku are common aquarium fish and the threat is over blown. They are actually good eating. And they are not going to survive winter. They might make it in Florida, but the UK or around Paris, not likely.

Plus there are not enough balls for them to eat in Paris anyway. The habitat could not support a breeding population.

chickelit said...

Excellent comment, EBL. You said what I wanted to say.

Michael Haz said...

Testicle eating fish? Oh. Sorry. I thought this was about TOP. Apologies.

Icepick said...

And they are not going to survive winter. They might make it in Florida, but the UK or around Paris, not likely.

Why take that chance? I say we start bombing Paris NOW!