It's rumored that some use sour mix, and call the sugary slurry that spills from their shaker a Margarita. Such a man is the son of a thousand fathers, all of them bastards like him. You'll need:
 |
| A competent assistant is key. |
2.5 parts lime juice (about 2 limes per drink)
2 parts Patron Silver tequila (about 2 shots per drink)
0.75 parts Grand Marnier
1.5 parts simple syrup
sea salt
ice (cubed and crushed)
shaker, juicer, Margarita glass
Step into my seedy cantina, after the jump:
Concerning these ingredients:
You've got to squeeze the limes, while you're making the drink. You cannot ruin good tequila with bottled lime juice. And Patron is the best tequila I've found for a Margarita. You don't want a sipping liquor that's been aged in oak barrels -- you want a clear, pure spirit, the essence of agave, bar fights, and bad decisions. That's Patron, my friend.
Some people use Cointreau, and I've tried that, but Grand Marnier results in a better mouth-feel. That's really the main purpose of the Grand Marnier here -- I don't understand how or why, but it changes the texture, or at least what I perceive as a texture.
And no, salt's not optional. You don't want a salted rim? Go mix yourself a Shirley Temple, you gringo fop.
Technique:
 |
| See that hideous scar on my knuckle? That's my diploma from Tequila University. |
Squeeze a couple of limes -- no need to filter if you use this type of squeezer. Take what's left of the lime and run the pulpy side of it around the rim of a Margarita glass. Sprinkle some sea salt on a small plate, then run the glass around til the salt sticks to the rim.
 |
| What the hell... |
That was meant to be a photo of a perfectly salted rim, but after two trial runs at the recipe, my assistant, wearing a garish pink skirt and...underwear on her head, hammed her way into the center of my gaze. I apologize for this loss of focus. Sorry -- here it is:
Pour the lime juice, tequila, Grand Marnier, simple syrup, and some ice cubes into the shaker, and shake vigorously til it's heavily frosted. Put some crushed ice in the glass, taking care not to disturb the salt. Strain the shaker into the glass (so the cubes stay in the shaker).
My goodness, senorita, you're looking quite fetching. Can I offer you a cocktail? Has anyone ever told you that you resemble Salma Hayek?
Seriously, it's those big brown eyes. And the seductive way you tilt your head just so when I shake the shaker.
28 comments:
I went to this Irish wedding and witnessed this amazingly beautiful moment. At one point someone said "I want you to get up and stand next to the person who has supported you all these years".
The bartender was nearly trampled.
That's funny Pasta.
I'm with ya on fresh lime juice. But no salt?
Must have a cute floppy eared dog nearby.
Oprah backpedals... sort of.
Sorry, April -- I meant that you MUST use salt.
It's not really a Margarita without salt. It's a boozy lime-ade.
There is an anglified version of the Margarita for gin lovers called the Maggie which my wife invented and I named.
Oh no Pasta- I read it all wrong. Comprehension skilzz. I Need some.
Time for a drink.
...you want a clear, pure spirit, the essence of agave, bar fights, and bad decisions.
heh.
Red Sox 4, Canada 2.
Bottom of the 11th.
I did something I am very proud of tonight.
A chink moved into my building from Arkansas! Why he was allowed I never know and he is from the South, major warning signs. And because no one wants to be on the condo board he, being new, was selected as the trustee. No one attended the meeting either so he was kind of default.
Anyway, we have 5 days after the first of the month to pay our $975.00 condo fees. Well on the 6th the property manager informed me that the trustee has requested that I submit my check. My check was sent on the 4th and they actually received the check later in the day on the 6th.
Now I plotted my revenge on Mao, which is what I call him, because he is chink. And although I live in the Penthouse I can still sometimes smell the stench of him and MIng Vase's food waffling up...but I didn't complain. But in the future they are going to hear about their stinky chink food.
Mao has been in Mass for over a year and still has Arkansas plates. In Mass you must enroll in Mass license and insurance after being here 6 months. Knowing that Mass insurance is like a million times more that Mayberry I decided to do something.
I got a parking ticket for $50.00 which I get most days so today I used the envelope from the Cambridge Parking Department and wrote a note on it and plastered it on Mao's windshield (in his older bmw, compared to my newer and more fab Beamer 328XI) stating that it is illegal in Mass to have an out of state redneck plate after being here for six months and that he needs to immediately register and get insurance and plates from Mass, which costs a shitload compared to Mayberry/Walmartville.
I had the honor of actually walking in the door of the building while he and his chink wife Ming Vase were reading the note. Mao and Ming were devastated and I said, "Hi, how are you"? Mao said not good...I said so sorry.
Simple pleasures in life.
And moral of the story is clean your house gook before looking to clean others. And your a chink and have a small dick.
thanks and tits.
Titus: But what if he like turns around and finds something simile in your armoire?
I love Patron as a tequila for shots but I think it is kind of wasted as part of a margarita.
A simple Hornitos Anejo which is 100% blue Agave and aged 12 months is more than adequate and less than half the price.
A good drink but lose the sugar.
Agree, same with using high priced Gin if you're going to mix it with vermouth.
It just has to be good enough.
Pastafarian walks into a bar acting really weird. He sits down and the guy next to him asks, "What's wrong buddy?"
He goes, "I got so freaking drunk I been blowing chunks all night."
The dude next to him replies, "Well that's not that bad, you just had to much to drink. We have all been there and done that."
Pastafarian said, "You don't understand, Chunks is my dog!"
"What?"
"Well he sort of started to look like Selma Hayak."
You need to give it the Palladian twist...muddle in some anchovies!
It is a great recipe. I agree with Trooper that the Patron is over kill for a margarita, but if you can afford it go for it.
Oh but chick, as you know, this aint my first time at the rodeo.
I can be evil and completely bitchy and I will destroy the dumb fuck from Jesusland, who also happens to be a minority.
Don't fuck with a queen who has been around the block and back.
They've really got you disoriented, haven't they?
They've really got you disoriented, haven't they?
Little do they know, they have an indefagitable foe.
You need to give it the Palladian twist...muddle in some anchovies!
Not in a margarita! But an anchovy-stuffed green olive is perfectly delicious in a Martini.
disoriented...
Once you taste Aha Toro tequila, Patron Silver will be as appealing as baby piss.
@Yashu: ISWYDT
Beagle nudity in the first shot is uncalled-for. Clearly that photo is out of sequence.
Palladian, I was of course teasing about the margarita, but one of those anchovy stuffed olives would be great in a martini and also in bloody mary (I often pour a bit of olive brine into those).
I do not recommend substituting fish sauce (the Asian variety) into a bloody. That attempted substitute for Worcestershire sauce did not work out so well.
Uh, excuse me, Titus, do you have issues with Asian folks? You know "chinks" and "gooks" and whatever other pejoratives you might like to apply. You are one high tone mother fucker...and a BMW 328XI to boot...Wow! That's what my Arab neighbors buy their snot nosed daughters for high school graduation. You be right up there, with your usual bullshit line of nonsense.
Part of my family are Hanguk, asshole. Chink is an insult anyway you say it. Small minds don't know better.
EBL...Anyone who has ever seen "Nouc Mam" made the old school way would understand why it might not do well in a Bloody Mary.
Great post, Pasta. I love your special helper.
Post a Comment