Thursday, August 22, 2013

Lem has changed the header quote; please share your favorite quotes



The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. But he won't sit upon a cold stove lid, either.
-Mark Twain


52 comments:

The Dude said...

Thomas Hobbes "In such condition, ...the life of man, solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short."

edutcher said...

Never smile at a crocodile.

AllenS said...

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" -- Chuck Dickens

"Come on Chuck, make up your mind." -- AllenS

Two for the price of one.

Meade said...

"If Lem could be crossed with a cat, it would improve the cat but deteriorate Lem."

I'm Full of Soup said...

I swear I don't make this stuff up.

Darcy said...

"Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads."

ndspinelli said...

"A waffle is like a pancake w/ a syrup trap." Mitch Hedberg

ndspinelli said...

I'm still stuck on food.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

“I didn't do it, nobody saw me do it, there's no way you can prove anything!”---Bart Simpson

virgil xenophon said...

Try:

"Pardon him, Theodotus: he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature."

----George Bernard Shaw "Caesar and Cleopatra."

OR

"And those who were seen to be dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."

---------Nietzsche

virgil xenophon said...

PS: The above unabashedly stolen from the sidebar at the blog "Neptunus Lex."

Anonymous said...

There was a time when indignation was an emotion; now it's a job.

--Michael Sugrue, lecturing on postmodernism

ndspinelli said...

DBQ, I thought that was a Clinton quote.

AllenS said...

"I did not have sexual relations with that woman" -- BJ Clinton

Technically, true. Who has sex with a woman using a cigar? Nobody, except BJ.

Cody Jarrett said...

"I don't care about your damn yellow buzzards."

--J.R. Cash

Cody Jarrett said...

Made it, Ma! Top of the world!

Revenant said...

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away." -- Phillip K. Dick

chickelit said...

"You who choose to lead must follow
But if you fall you fall alone,
If you should stand then who's to guide you?
If I knew the way I would take you home."

Robert Hunter

Trooper York said...

A lo hecho, pecho!

Pastafarian said...

"Man, being reasonable, must get drunk. The best of life is but intoxication." -- Lord Byron

Pastafarian said...

El Pollo, for a minute I thought you were quoting Cindi Lauper.

Trooper York said...

Mucho ruido y pocas nueces!

Lydia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Karen of Texas said...

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” Marilyn Monroe

rcocean said...

A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.

rcocean said...

Some things a man just can't ride around.

virgil xenophon said...

"I would never want to join the kind of country-club that would have me as a member."

----Groucho Mark (Letters to his son)

virgil xenophon said...

"Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke."

Common saying in both the British and US armed forces re blasting the shit out of one's enemies circa 1970ish.

virgil xenophon said...

"Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges!"

Banditos in Treasure of the Sierra Madre

ricpic said...

Bring back Dali!

virgil xenophon said...

"There is a tide in the affairs of men.
Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune.
Omitted, all the voyage of their life,
Is bound in shallows and in miseries.
On such a full sea are we now afloat,
And we must take the current when it serves,
Or lose our ventures.

Julius Caesar, Act 4, Scene 3

----Shakespeare

virgil xenophon said...

@ricpic/

Heh, agree..

Trooper York said...

Hello Dali?

ricpic said...

The original Dali header quote was untoppable:

It is not necessary for the public to know whether or not I am joking, just as it is not necessary for me to know.

Not sure if that's the exact wording but to abandon that gem for some ain't I clever Twainism is a shanda.

A to the C said...

"Learn to say 'fuck you' to the world every once in a while". Sol LeWitt
"Gazing up at the dark sky spangled with its signs and stars, for the first time I laid myself bare to the benign indifference of the universe." Albert Camus
"They score! Henrique! It's over!!" Mike "Doc" Emrick
"If you don't like dogs, then fuck you." Anonymous

sakredkow said...

May I suggest a thread with the focus on cat quotes? Here's a little anecdote that I like:

The Russian writer Anton Chechov once told a story about a man who tried to teach a kitten to catch mice. Whenever the kitten refused to give chase, the man beat it. After the animal grew up into an adult cat, it always cowered in terror in the presence of a mouse. “That,” said Chekov, “is the man who taught me Latin.”

ad hoc said...

You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.

Robert A. Heinlein

Cody Jarrett said...

"Boy the next word that comes out of your mouth better be some brilliant fucking Mark Twain shit. Cause it's definitely getting chiseled on your tombstone."


DADvocate said...

“The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.” - Mark Twain

My favorite quote changes hourly or more often.

Paco Wové said...

The past is never dead. It's not even past.
  -- Faulkner

AllenS said...

"I ain't no ways tired, but when I am, I drink Dos Equis." -- Hillary the Moat Uninterested Woman in the World Rodham Clinton.

AllenS said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
deborah said...

I advise you to go on living soley to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left.
-Voltaire

Cody Jarrett said...


Ha, that's what they all say "Fuck you". Well it ain't gonna save you. It don't scare me none. And it certainly doesn't make you a fuckin' hero!

Cody Jarrett said...

"Baby I set my standards pretty low, so I'm never disappointed."

Cody Jarrett said...


"Hey I know what I know and I know I don't like that nut sack".

Dear corrupt left, go F yourselves said...

"It is a conspiracy without leader or direction, and the random little thugs of the moment who cash in on the agony of one land or another are chance scum riding the torrent from the broken dam of the sewer of centuries, from the reservoir of hatred for reason, for logic, for ability, for achievement, for joy, stored by every whining anti-human who ever preached the superiority of the 'heart' over the mind."

Ayn Rand

rhhardin said...

If you want a motto, either

1. Each one better than the next

or

2. Fills a much needed gap.

deborah said...

Petrograd smelt of carbolic acid.
-Ayn Rand, We the Living

William said...

Time is the moving image of eternity.....That's not my favorite quote, but if you want to say something that makes you look smart, you could do worse than that.

bagoh20 said...

"Who am I? Why am I here?"

Revenant said...

"The news is just another show with sex and violence." -- Jane's Addiction