This is a drink for gentlemen, by gentlemen, and don't ask for a cherry or I'll throttle you. Let's begin:
This drink is mostly bourbon, so you'll need a good one. Knob Creek is the best I've found. If you like smokey stuff, Four Roses is OK. If you're a woman, or you have a delicate constitution and enjoy embroidery and such, I suppose Maker's Mark will do.
Again, the bourbon is the key. But you'll also need bitters (I use the old Angostura bitters), half an orange, some ginger ale, sugar, ice, and a muddler. And the secret ingredient (more on that later).
Put a little sugar in the bottom of a short, stout glass -- not a shot glass, but a nice fat 6 or 8 ounce glass. Don't measure it, you asshole -- just use as much sugar as you'd use in your morning tea. You don't read so well, do you?
Sorry, I get cranky before I have my bourbon. Put 4 or 5 dashes of bitters on the sugar. Cut a sector off the orange that's mostly rind, put it in the sugar, and muddle the shit out of that thing -- wring every bit of orange oil out of it that you can. I think the sugar helps as an absorbent and as an abrasive medium that aids in the muddling.
You're going to need a nice, fat toad.
Legal disclaimer: It is not the policy of Comment Home, Lem, or any contributors or commenters at this blog to advocate or recommend the recreational use of toad venom, or acts of cruelty meant to extract it. Ingestion of toad venom can lead to loss of vision, insanity, permanent brain damage, and holy fucking shit I can smell colors.
Still have that muddler? Well put it away, you treacherous bastard. What sort of man are you, that you'd muddle a toad? Jesus. Just poke him in the nose a few times with that straw, to get him really pissed off. Then stick his head in the drink, up to and including those puffy glands behind his ears. He really won't like that, particularly if you used that Maker's Mark crap. Even toads have standards. And for god's sake, don't let the toad piss in your cocktail.
Enjoy!
43 comments:
Hey, I like Maker's Mark!
Okay, so I don't like Maker's Mark quite as much as Kristen Dunst in a Maker's Mark shirt, but—
Hey, I like Maker's Mark!
Reminds me of the Bob hope Line:
-I'll have a lemonade.
[sees looks of surprise, snarls]
-In a dirty glass.
Great! This is like being at one of my parents regular parties as a kid. They had every kind of booze, but none of them were ever top shelf. The bourbon would probably be Old Crow and an icy winter porch full of Pabst.
Four Roses Small Batch is what I buy to treat myself. But, I like Maker's also.
When I first moved to Madison and started my biz, I had to bartend to subsidize my income. Brandy Old Fashions are all they drink here. Korbel if they're not cheapskates. I would say 90% of all Old Fashions consumed in Wi. are made w/ brandy. To each their own!
I used to smoke cigars pretty regular, but haven't for about a year. I just forgot to. Today I got a new box of Arturo Fuentes in the mail, It's a beautiful moonlit and star studded night, and I'm gonna take a little walk with dog pack out in the field of dreams. Be back in few. Keep the drinks flowing.
My favorite line in "Justified," the TV show about Kentucky law enforcement, was when Tim Olyphant's ex-girlfriend from the holler is hiding out at his ex-wife's place in town (for complicated plot reasons) and the next morning ex-wife asks ex-GF if she would like something with her coffee.
"Bourbon."
If we're going to have drink recipes we need advance notice of the ingredients list.
I love the Old-Fashioned, and this is a great technique.
I'm of the opinion that a drink must contain bitters in order to be considered a cocktail.
Even my perfect, pure Martini needs a dash of orange bitters.
Over 700 comments today. I know, I know, but it's an amazing first week.
Congrats Lem!
I do not know the difference between bourbon and whiskey and whisky. But I do know that Stranahan's is right down the street. Well, a bunch of streets over, and then down that street, and more than "right" down it, more like two miles. And I also know it is well regarded and you can get tours whenever you want, and I also also know all that crap makes me barf.
Not really. I can't drink enough to barf. Why don't we just drink gasoline?
My favorite thing about alcohol was the purple cloth bags with gold ties were perfect for holding marbles. That's what they were really for. Royal Crown marbles. I just looked, that's whiskey. That stuff is very close to gasoline. This information comes from my nine year old self.
Charlie Martin, an Althouse reader, is writing at PJ Media.
The article is about probabilities. Freeman's and Rh's probability that they might read it. (that's not true)
He de-cloaked.
Sounds like a great recipe--I do prefer rye whisky rather than bourbon although a good rye can be hard to find.
Sounds like a great recipe--I do prefer rye whisky rather than bourbon although a good rye can be hard to find.
Indeed. I love rye, though I'm fairly easy to please; a bottle of Old Overholt does just fine.
Someone mentioned Bourbon?!
Excellent post, and while I can live with razzing Maker's, you lost me at straw.
Home bar tending is becoming a lost art. My kids are teens, but hanging out with some friends' adult kids, it's apparent that the next generation knows nothing about cocktails. Margaritas come from a premixed bottle, Coke mixes with everything so that you don't have to taste the alcohol, and "what's a bitter?"
There is a zen satisfaction that comes with lovingly mixing a classic using the good stuff. By which I mean Woodford Reserve.
(1) Funny stuff, Pasta. Thanks.
(2) It was just last week I threw out a bottle of Angostura bitters. It stained our drinking glasses.
(3) I greatly admire you people who can drink booze in small quantities and appreciate its finer qualities.
I used to be like that but now I come home from work and measure out exactly 12 ounces of brandy into a Rubbermaid MixerMate bottle.
A little less than half of it is gone before dinner. Life's great challenge for the evening is drinking only the booze that remains in the container. Early-to-bed is sometimes a necessary act of desperation, sort of like ditching an airplane.
I've come to think of booze as nasty medicine that must be taken whether I want to or not.
(4) Pity me.
Thanks. Saw this just in time for breakfast.
It has orange in it, right? Orange is for breakfast.
This is good, but what's your recipe for purple drank?
I like a drink that involves muddling. And I drank Old Fashions before Mad Men.
Pastafarian's recipe is a good one...but does anyone know a good source for proper mail order toads?
And for god's sake, don't let the toad piss in your cocktail.
Boy, that brought back a memory. As kids we'd catch a big toad and hold it tightly, ass pointed outward and hope that it got scared and pissed on your friend.
Funny, the girls never liked that game.
Michael--so is beer and wings--the perfect breakfast.
on the question of bitters: peychauds bitters are essential in a sazerac. I wouldn't sully a sazerac with angostura.
There are any number of small batch whiskeys being made now--expensive--but they do make for great tasting. Taste in moderation. We aren't talking wine or beer here.
The difference between bourbon and rye is that in order to be called, bourbon, it must be made of @ least 51% corn. There are many people who believe that it must be made in Kentucky to be called bourbon. I've won about $50 in bar bets proving that wrong.
Spinelli, doesn't the inside of the barrel have to be charred, also?
Cocktails are on the cutting edge of hipster, so there's definitely a renewed interest among some. For instance, in the Pearl District of Portland (Hipster headquarters), there's <a href="http://teardroplounge.com/>the Teardrop Lounge</a>. Had my bachelor party there.
They were making their own bitters in 2008!
Trouble is that cocktails for most younger folks isn't about taste, it's about getting drunk. People who don't like the taste of alcohol are the driving force behind much alcohol sales and trends.
This is a drink for gentlemen, by gentlemen
No drink for me, then!
Deborah, You are correct. They need to be new, charred, oak barrels.
The Sazerac is a local New Orleans variation of an old-fashioned cognac or whiskey cocktail, named for the Sazerac de Forge et Fils brand of cognac that was its original prime ingredient. The drink is some combination of cognac or rye whiskey, absinthe or Herbsaint, and Peychaud's Bitters; it is distinguished by its preparation method.[2] It is sometimes referred to as the oldest known American cocktail,
***
Recipe:
Chill an old-fashioned glass by filling it with ice and letting it sit while preparing the rest of the drink.
In a separate mixing glass, muddle the simple syrup and Peychaud bitters together.
Add the rye whiskey and ice to the bitters mixture and stir.
Discard the ice in the chilled glass and rinse it with absinthe by pouring a small amount into the glass, swirling it around and discarding the liquid.
Strain the whiskey mixture from the mixing glass into the old fashioned glass.
Garnish with a lemon twist. Traditionalists will say that the lemon twist should be squeezed over the drink to release its essences but that the twist should not be dropped into the glass itself.
********
Peychaud's Bitters is distributed by Sazerac.[1] It was originally created around 1830 by Antoine Amédée Peychaud, a Creole apothecary from the French colony of Saint-Domingue (now Haiti) who settled in New Orleans, Louisiana in 1795.[2][3] It is a gentian-based bitters, comparable to Angostura bitters, but with a lighter body, sweeter taste and more floral aroma. Peychaud's Bitters is an important component of the Sazerac cocktail.
It is produced by the Buffalo Trace Distillery of Frankfort, Kentucky. The Peychaud family continues to be well established in New Orleans. See Rosalind Peychaud.
Absinthe--that's where it gets interesting.
Absinthe has often been portrayed as a dangerously addictive psychoactive drug.[7] The chemical compound thujone, although present in the spirit in only trace amounts, was blamed for its alleged harmful effects. By 1915, absinthe had been banned in the United States and in much of Europe, including France, the Netherlands, Belgium, Switzerland and the Austro-Hungarian Empire. Although absinthe was vilified, it has not been demonstrated to be any more dangerous than ordinary spirits. Any psychoactive properties attributed to absinthe, apart from that of the alcohol, have been much exaggerated.[7]
"What sort of man are you, that you'd muddle a toad" -- I love that line.
I'm not buying this business of putting pop (Ginger Ale) of any sort in an Old Fashioned.
Whiskey, a bit of sugar, bitters, and an orange (not in that order). That's it.
Most bars can't make an Old Fashioned properly, so I don't order them out. Sad.
Well--and a little water. A LITTLE.
Father Fox! I'm delighted to see you!
I don't think we had a conversation at Althouse but I always read your contributions with interest. (Plus, I like priests, especially smart ones.) Glad you are here!
I didn't think that absinthe was bad because it was psychoactive... I thought it was bad because it would kill you. You know, like wood alcohol or at least badly prepared puffer fish.
If eating the puffer fish gives you a tingle, you know you just narrowly escaped death. I thought that was the deal with absinthe.
Synova
I should go look it up but ya--I think it use to be illegal and then they changed how it was prepared?
Something like that.
Sorry, good whiskey and soda pop don't mix. Period. If you're going to mix drinks with soda pop just use Vodka.
Its tasteless anyway.
Farther fox! Nice to see you!
And pop in a cocktail is not a cocktail. It is a mixed drink. A Shirley Temple with alcohol.
Post a Comment