Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Meatzza


El Pollo Raylan requested a recipe for this the other day after I mentioned making it. I threw this little number together after one of my summer hosts asked for a low-carbohydrate, pizza-like concoction. It's of course not a substitute for pizza, but it's good and fun to eat. I usually despise portmanteau words, but I've heard this sort of thing called a "meatzza", which seems apt.

Click "Read More" for the recipe...

Meat-Crust Pizza

Ingredients:

  • 2 pounds ground beef, preferably 85% lean
  • 2 large eggs
  • 1 clove garlic, puréed
  • about 2 tbsp strong herbs, such as thyme, rosemary or oregano.
  • a good dash Worcestershire sauce
  • a big pinch cayenne pepper
  • salt & fresh ground black pepper, to taste

Pizza toppings of your choice, such as tomato sauce, cheese, anchovies, pepperoni, salami slices, olives, &c

Equipment:

  • 1 jelly roll pan or baking sheet, at least 13 x 9 inches. A jelly roll pan, basically a baking sheet with a low lip around the edges, works well because it keeps fat from running off the edge into the oven. If you have only a flat baking sheet, you may wish to cover it in aluminum foil and create a little lip from the foil at the edges.

Place the oven rack in the middle level and preheat your oven to 350º F.

Assemble your ingredients. Fresh herbs would be great, but the "strong" herbs mentioned also work well when dried. If you're using fresh herbs, use only the leaves, not the stalks, and be sure to mince them thoroughly. If you're using dried rosemary, give the leaves a little pounding with a mortar and pestle, or crush them up between your fingers. Using your hands blend all the ingredients together, in a big bowl. Try to mix rapidly and with a light touch, because the more you squish up ground beef, the tougher it becomes when cooked.

Form your pizza "crust" on the jelly roll pan or baking sheet, spreading the mixture evenly to a thickness no greater than 1/4 inch. Make sure there are no gaps. If you like bacon on your pizza, you could lay out a few strips on top of the "crust" at this point and they will cook at the same time, and also keep the ground beef basted. If you add the bacon, you may need to add a few minutes to the cooking time.

Place it in the oven and bake for 30 minutes. Carefully remove the pan from the oven. The "crust" will have exuded quite a bit of fat. Carefully drain the fat out of the pan, leaving the "crust" undisturbed.

Top the "crust" with your favorite pizza toppings, then place it under the broiler for about 5 minutes, or until the pizza toppings are browned, melted, or what have you. If you don't have a broiler in your stove, turn the oven up to 450º F and bake the topped meatzza for about 10 minutes.

Let the meatzza rest for about 5 minutes after it comes out of the broiler or oven before you cut it into slices.

Serve, accompanied with good napkins and beer.

40 comments:

Cody Jarrett said...

Good Lord.

Do you make people sign a waiver first?


Now, explain to me why you might want bacon to baste the 85% burger which is already got a fair amount of fat (and, depending on where you buy it...water somehow injected into it as well).

I mean, without it floating away on the grease.

Palladian said...

Do you make people sign a waiver first?

A waiver for what? In case they die from eating something good?

Now, explain to me why you might want bacon to baste the 85% burger which is already got a fair amount of fat (and, depending on where you buy it...water somehow injected into it as well).

I mean, without it floating away on the grease.


I already explained: a large amount of fat renders out of the meat during cooking and since the ground beef is so thin it needs all the help it can get.

deborah said...

Sheer genius. And this can be converted to a breakfast food with pork sausage, cheese, and eggs...eleventy!!!1!

Anonymous said...

Basically a hamburger with pizza fixings on top. It's possible to have a lowcarb pizza with crust, but this looks yummy too.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

Now if we can only get Tony Manero to take a couple of slices out for a test drive.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

I make something called Konegsberger Klopfe , that is basically a Salisbury Steak. It can also be made lowcarb, using hround beef and pork, parmesan cheese, eggs, lowcarb flours to bind. Add diced onion, garlic, spices to taste. Make patties, fry. Drain fat, finish cooking in covered pan with lid on. Delicious and lowcarb.

Anonymous said...

Damn! Not hround beef! As I said and deleted, sounds too much like hound beef.

chickelit said...

I mean, without it floating away on the grease.

My daughter used to love to put butter on her bacon. Now she's a vegetarian. This recipe is for the rest of us.

Thanks, Palladian!

Anonymous said...

OK, I give up. I forgot most of my German. Should be Konegsberger Klopse.

Anonymous said...

My kids just called them German hamburgers.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

I've done a variation on a cheesesteak with pizza sauce and pizza-ish type of cheese. To keep it low carb you would have to serve it some way other than the standard roll.

Anonymous said...

Iggy, I make a lowcarb roll, only 6 carbs per roll and they are a perfect size for a hamburger.

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

Oink and moo.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Do you make people sign a waiver first?

A waiver for what? In case they die from eating something good?

LOL Palladian

We baste our rib eye steaks in garlic butter when bbq-ing them. You can't believe how tender juicy and flavorful they are.

First. Season steaks with kosher salt, cracked pepper and some Lawry's if you like. Pat into both sides. Refrigerate until 1 hour before cooking.

Take one whole cube of butter and put it into a small saucepan that can go onto the side of the grill. Smash with the flat of the knife at least 5 to 8 large garlic cloves. Put onto the grill so that the butter will melt but not boil.

Sear the steaks on each side and lower the temp or move to the cooler part of the grill. We pile the briquets on either side and the center has just a few. I hate charred steaks. Baste....cook for a couple of minutes.....flip....baste....cook for a couple of minutes. Repeat until desired to desired doneness.....in my case rare to med rare. It generally takes just about 12 to 15 minutes MAX.

Baste your french bread slices (or split chibata rolls) with the rest of the melted butter. Grill unbuttered side down and then flip to toast on the buttered side.

Yummy. Butter, steak and garlic. How can it get any better?

Cody Jarrett said...

I already explained: a large amount of fat renders out of the meat during cooking and since the ground beef is so thin it needs all the help it can get.

That's part of what I was asking. You've already got all the fat coming out of the ground meat, why would you need more.

I get that it's thin--I'm not a complete moron, despite appearances--I just don't see why you'd want or need more fat floating over the meat.

Still, it looks interesting, thanks for posting it.

Palladian said...

This was actually made for someone who was eating "semi-paleo", so no wheat was allowed at all. The person told me that even cheese and salt would be questioned by serious "paleo" people.

A ridiculous fad when taken to extremes, just as annoying for a cook as veganism.

Birches said...

Wow.

Palladian said...

I get that it's thin--I'm not a complete moron, despite appearances--I just don't see why you'd want or need more fat floating over the meat.

To me, the sight of fat floating over meat is as beautiful as the sight of a cool mountain stream flowing over time-worn rocks would be, to others.

Palladian said...

Yummy. Butter, steak and garlic. How can it get any better?

It can't! Thanks DBQ!

I'm going to make a post about hamburgers this week. My recipe includes BOTH heavy cream and butter!

Cody Jarrett said...

Huh. LOL. My grandmother was that way too. The fatty ends of roast beef or pot roast, bacon barely cooked, ground beef essentially deep fried...all that.

I guess I never got the fat loving gene. I don't even put butter on things.

What was it Emeril used to say before his face swelled so tight he lost the ability to form words?

Pork fat rules! I think it was.

Cody Jarrett said...

And it makes a very pretty picture as well, P.

Palladian said...

What was it Emeril used to say before his face swelled so tight he lost the ability to form words?

I think that's from being stuffed with money rather than pork fat.

Methadras said...

OH MY GOD!!! <3 ATTACK LOVE!!!

AllenS said...

For lunch, I had a naked turkey burger.

chickelit said...

Meatzza slices might be good food truck fare.

ndspinelli said...

Palladian, Where are the anchovies?? More cow bell and more anchovies!!

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Meatzza slices might be good food truck fare.

I predict a top series of food truck fare.

I hope you get honorable mention pollo.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Meatzza slices might be good food truck fare.

Ford's Meatzza.

it has a ring to it.

Lydia said...

Inga,
That Konegsberger Klopse sounds good. Maybe you could do a post with some of your recipes? Like the muffins with pumpkin and chocolate, which I think was one you mentioned.

Anonymous said...

Maime, I would love to do some posts on occasion featuring some of my favorite lowcarb recipes, but that would be up to the blog owner/ co bloggers.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, Mamie, not Maime, lol.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

@ Inga

Put them in the comments just like the rest of us do.

deborah said...

Mike Piazza could start a Meatzza franchise. (pronounced mee-awt-zuh) The fast food industry has yet to get serious about low carb.

Paddy O said...

Yes, I'll have another 200 slices please.

Trooper York said...

The funniest part of all of Palladians receipes is they all start up the same:

First you lube up....the pan...

Michael Haz said...

Dang, Palladian, that looks delicious. I need to try that.

This one, however, goes to eleven!

Aridog said...

Very rarely do I see recipes on blogs that I'd actually eat myself....usually things in them I don't like.

Exceptions today: I will try Meatzza as well as that Bacon Explosion BBQ thing. Both appear to be designed by God.

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

That looks delicious...wait, what is that base again?