OK we all know the 10 Commandments Chuck Heston brought down from Paramount are not the ones in the Bibles. It's not Thou Shalt Not Kill, but Thou Shalt Not Murder. It's not Thou Shalt Not Steal, but Thou Shalt Not Kidnap (still trying to figure out that one).
Now here's another one. I saw reference to this on another website with guys bragging how their old man beat the Hell (literally) out of them and it made them the swell guys they are today. Having felt my father's hand and sharp tongue for the first 11 years of my life, I can only say the only useful thing I learned was, "Look it up", any time I asked him a question. Even my sister, whom he favored (she looked like his side of the family), later said that I was treated rather brutally.
So it was that I came across an alternative view of the old "Spare the rod and spoil the child" wheeze which has gone down in American folklore as how child-rearing (as opposed to parenting) is supposed to be done. The author makes the point, with the help of the 23rd Psalm context of "thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me" where the rod is the shepherd's crook, guiding and protecting, rather than beating.
I have no kids, but I do have several nephews who are like sons to me. I know most of you have grandchildren.I'm hardly one to give advice here, but this struck me. What we say and do in front of the little monsters does have an impact.
Something to keep in mind.
PS Feel free to disagree.
3 comments:
Honestly friend most folks are bible Illiterate. They Hear someone preach one verse and add commentary for the rest of the sermon. Multiply that by the few times they show up for that one verse sermon and that's kind of a starvation diet of Gods message to mankind.
Your example is sadly typical. One verse poorly applied when so many others like:
Colossians 3: 21 Fathers, do not vex your children, to the end that they be not disheartened.
22 Bondmen, obey in all things your masters according to flesh; not with eye-services, as men-pleasers, but in simplicity of heart, fearing the Lord.
23 Whatsoever ye do, labour at it heartily, as [doing it] to the Lord, and not to men;
Tells us to treat your children well, fatherhood (speaking from a grandfather's viewpoint) is a labor of love dedicated to the service of God. Even Paul once called Saul the destroyer of "the way" as Christianity was called back then called himself a "Bond Servant of Christ" after his meeting up with God in acts 9:1-19.
I don't want to flood your site here but please look at this and read the many scriptures there about taking care of your children, wife, family in LOVE as you LOVE your OWN BODY.
https://biblehub.com/proverbs/22-6.htm
Thanks.
In my view, those who've been beaten, bullied, emotionally and/or sexually abused, or brutally misused during childhood either end up as perpetrators who inflict the trauma and pain they've experienced onto others; or they find ways to subvert, deny, cover over or "cope" via addictions to alcohol, drugs, food, or behaviors like religiosity, workaholism, activism, perfectionism and people pleasing. While the covering and coping can lead to some seemingly good results early on, doing so tends to involve a personal cost in the form of physical illnesses, mental breakdowns, and broken relationships down the road. Often, it's the presence of one caring "other" (albeit a teacher, relative, family friend, neighbor, minister, counselor), someone is able to come alongside to validate the experience and offer compassion along with an opportunity to process the emotions and thoughts involved that allows a child to develop the resilience needed to survive; and later as an adult, to grow through that experience to realize more health and wholeness.
I especially appreciate Jesus' summation (his reduction and elevation!) of The Ten into Two, with both centered on love. Which works with love as the balance point between truth and grace, mercy and justice, accountability and compassion
"When the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together, and one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. ‘Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?’ He said to him, ‘“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.” This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: “You shall love your neighbour as yourself.” On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.’
I also like this, by Dr Terry Real: "Family pathology rolls from generation to generation like a fire in the woods taking down everything in its path until one person, in one generation, has the courage to turn and face the flames. That person brings peace to his ancestors and spares the children that follow."
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