Casual Racism Theater

It was casual because I was wearing shorts.

Went into Trader Joe's the other day and went up to the checkout area. There are a bunch of spaces and helpful hipster are there to put your groceries into paper bag and kiss boomer ass which is Trader Joe's mission statement. On our way up, I passed the half a retard guy we usually go to and walked up to this stocky balding oriental dude. He had a shaved head with a five o'clock shadow and was overjoyed to see us. 

I immediately say, "Dude, you look like a Bond supervillain." "Really? Who?" "You're a dead ringer for Odd Job the chief henchman of Goldfinger." He goes, "I've heard of the movie, but I never saw it. I have to catch it on YouTube or something." "Pal, it's gonna be like looking in the mirror. I love Goldfinger. It's the first movie I ever saw in the actual theater. My uncle took me. He was engaged to my Aunt Rosie and they were watching me while my mother was in the hospital having my sister. He wanted to score points so he decided to take me to the movies on Court Street. So we get in there and Bond asks the hot pilot what her name was and she goes 'My Name is Pussy Galore.'" My uncle looks at me and goes "Oh shit. Let's not tell your mother or your aunt about this ok pal?" I go "Sure, no problem. Oh and by the way you're gonna get me some ice cream."

Anyway the guy laughed and we paid and we left. I don't think he was mad because I immediately type cast him as a fat chinaman. I mean, he was lucky.

I could have called him a chunk.