Top Ten Kirk Douglas films

10. Champion One of his first big roles it was the movie that made him a star. He plays a heel even though he is the star of the movie. One of the first and most successful anti-hero turns that has often been copied. He plays a boxer who betrays his brother, his wife, his original manager who taught him everything he knows. In other words the story arch of just about every boxer who ever lived. The fights scenes are not that great but there is some entertaining scenery chewing. With Marilyn Maxwell in the Robin Givens role and Arthur Kennedy playing Mitt Romney.

9 A Gunfight   A tight little western that I really enjoyed because it has Johnny Cash as the other guy in the titular gunfight. An aging broke gunfighter (Cash) rides into town and talks the resident retired gunfighter (Douglas) into a staged duel in a bullfight arena. It was interesting as it explores some Western cliches and the bad guy Cash wins killing the supposed star. With Jane Alexander playing the woman who wondered why she wasn’t married to a black guy so she could win a Tony award.

8 There was a Crooked Man     Where Kirk plays a prisoner who has to break out to collect the proceeds of his last robbery. He conspires with the Warden and there are couple of jail breaks and a lot of cynical bullshit. Of course if it happened today he would have been out with no bail and nobody would have ever saw him again. With Henry Fonda playing the Hillary Clinton role

7 The War Wagon         A rousing old school Western and one of the minor films of the Duke’s repertoire. Several gay film critics have termed it the most homoerotic John Wayne films as Kirk struts around in a black leather jumpsuit in the whole movie. Lots of familiar beats without much new. Entertaining but routine. With Howard Keel in the Elizabeth Warren role as the fake Indian.

6 Seven Days in May    A film ripped from today’s headlines where the Deep State decides to stage a coup. Kirk plays a heroic junior Pentagon staffer who is loyal to the President instead of the Deep State. You know its fiction so you have to suspend your disbelief. It was a retelling of the Cuban Missile Crisis with the military in the bad guy role and the heroic liberal politicians being for the people. You know bullshit. They do get the endless war stuff right but the rest of it is nonsense. With Edmond O’Brien as Mitch McConnell, Whit Bissell as Mitt Romney and Hugh Marlowe as Jim Acosta.

5 The Big Sky   The retelling of the classic A.B. Guthrie novels which one of the first “adult” books I ever read. It is basically the story of the mountain men who traded with the Indians for pelts. Great scenery and some compliant Indian maidens. With Hank Worden in one of his singular roles as a half a retard.

4  The Vikings   The story of the 1970 Superbowl in which Kirk plays Joe Kapp the only quarterback who went to the Superbowl by throwing every forward pass end over end. With Janet Leigh as Georgia Frontierie and Ernest Borgnine playing Helen Thomas.

3 Spartacus   A retelling of the slave revolt in ancient Rome. Written by famous commie Howard Fast it brought a bunch of blacklisted Hollywood types getting a paycheck. A vanity production it is a rousing tale full of action and thrills. And the delicious Jean Simmons. With Sir Laurence Oliver as Pete Buttigieg and Corey Booker's grandfather as the black guy who gets killed first.

2  The Gunfight at OK Corral      The perfect Western set to a Frankie Laine sound track. I watch it at least once a month just to get a Western fix. Lots of interesting little east eggs like Dennis Hopper as Billy Clanton and Doc McCoy from Star Trek as one of the Earps. Kirk is the best Doc Holiday in my humble opinion. With John Ireland as the best Johnny Ringo and Jo Van Fleet as my favorite whore.

1  Town With Out Pity   I know this is an idiosyncratic choice as the best Kirk Douglas film but I don’t give shit. Another film torn from today’s headline it illustrates how our troops overseas are not appreciated by the people we are there to protect. A bunch of US Soldiers are accused of Harvey Weinstein a Kraut and Kirk plays the fancy defense lawyer full of sleazy lawyer tricks. With Sergeant Carter as the sleaziest rapist and Robert Blake practicing for when he would beat the case after he beat his wife. And one of my all-time favorite theme songs. A must see and a perfect advertisement as to why we should bring our boys home.

These are my choices. I know ed will think differently but I will stick with these films. Most of them will be replayed on AMC the next few weeks. You should check them out.