Monday, October 28, 2019

Fly Cemetery

For Halloween. It's a Scottish thing. Seasoned currants between pie crusts.



Leave it to Scots to be so basic.

I have a thin Scottish cookbook that I've kept for its amusement value. I've exaggerated its humor to good effect. For example, to cook a chicken;

1) Catch a chicken and stretch its head between two upright penny nails hammered into the end of a stump. Chop off its head. Discard the head.

2) When the chicken stops running around spewing blood out its neck, pick it up and pluck all its feathers.

3) Gut the chicken and save the liver and gizzard and heart.

4) Cover the chicken inside and out with half a box of kosher salt.

And so on. The same thing with salmon, elk, and pigs. Excruciating detail that always begins with hunting an animal and gutting and curing it. Like a caveman.

But currants? Come on. Nearly anything else would be better. Name any dry fruit and it would be better.

Notice the crust is typical pie crust. A shorter dough will work as well so long as you choose an excellent butter. One made with cream instead of water.

My dad's family is Scottish and he was particularly fond of Fig Newtons. I don't know why. Those things are like dust in your mouth.

They gross me out.

But on a whim I made some from Trader Joe's figs and I must say they were spectacular. I then saw what the commercial ones are trying to be. At that moment I wished my dad was alive so I could take the whole batch over to him. The difference in quality is immeasurable.

The dough is a little bit different from ordinary pie dough. It's extremely easy to roll out and a bit tricky to manage due to its tenderness. It stays soft after it's baked.

The fig filling can be adjusted however you want. Even with dates. I think I adjusted with orange peel. I forget. Maybe lemon. The figs were cut, very sticky and gooey, then boiled with water and adjusted with sugar, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg. I kept it simple. The whole thing was an experiment. And it was a lot more than needed for the cookies. It was great on toast. And it lasted a long time.

Fig Newtons.



Same thing with Apricot preserves.






6 comments:

ndspinelli said...

Kinda a mince meat bar.

rhhardin said...

The thing about figs is that the pollenating fig wasp enters the flower but does not come back out again.

ampersand said...

As opposed to Japanese recipes.

1. Catch a fish.

2. Eat it.

Amartel said...

Date nut bars are delicious. From out the box because that's how I roll (pre-mixed, with suboptimal ingredients originally combined in the late 1960s).
Just add water and put in oven for a while. Mmmm.

Chip Ahoy said...

Ampersand, that's one of the things I was talking about to the dude at the WF fish counter on Saturday right after I locked my keys in the Truck.

Before we moved to Japan I saw a photo of a Japanese boy in the river with a fish in his mouth and I thought that's what raw fish meant, gills, bones, head, guts, scales and all. So, hard no for me.

Then dad took Barry and me to a tiny hole-in-the-wall sushi place with an aquarium. We could eat shrimp because that was cooked.

"That thing in the bottom of the aquarium is a shrimp."

"Oh, it is not!"

"Yes it is."

"No it's no!"

"Yes it is. "

I just ate a shrimp. They don't look anything alike. Shrimp look like bugs. Everyone in the shop was convincing me the bug was a shrimp and I wasn't having it. Adults cannot always be trusted. They''re always faking you out for their own fun.

ndspinelli said...

Took the kids to the National Date Festival in Indio, CA. back in the 90's. Date shakes were good as are just plain dates. My Italian grandma loved figs and dates. She would have loved the festival.