I lost the whole day

It happens sometimes. The time warp works to my disadvantage.

It began by being awake all night and falling asleep in the early morning. Then the phone rang twice and woke me up from deep sleep. Usually I don't take the calls. I cannot get to them fast enough. The first one I didn't even know it was the phone. The sound confused me massively. I surprised myself by answering in time to catch the recorded message and computerized voice activated menu. The call was computer generated and instead of saying "Fuck off!" As I do usually, instead  this time I listened trying to understand what it was. The call helped me quite a lot. The second call was even more beneficial.

Here's the thing. I get a supply of medication that's important for controlling seizures. In supply of three months. Each year my doctor must renew the prescription. That means I must see my doctor at least once a year. I avoid all other doctor visits. I don't like them. It's a love/hate thing going on there. This doctor actually saved my life three times.

Right now my doctor retired suddenly. These two things coincided. That means I must find a new doctor immediately. Which I did.

The day before yesterday my prescription order was rejected. It needs a new doctor's prescription. When the call ended I answered a satisfaction survey. I gave high marks for everything even though they rejected my order, basically telling me to piss off and find a doctor and get a prescription . When asked what they can do to  improve I answered "Nothing. The law is what it is and there was nothing you could do for me."

Because I want to keep them. Apart from this thing out of their control they're actually excellent.

My doctor was rather far away and he made it easy to transfer to a new doctor that he recommended for all of us. But that doctor is even farther away by ten to fifteen minutes. I would prefer someone closer in case I'd choose to take a taxi some time in the future. I already had a list of possibilities. I found one.

In searching, the new place, third on my list, put me on hold for inordinate lengths and so many times it was actually funny. Five on-hold sessions for a simple new patient setup. And VERY long holds. I watched t.v. while their music cycled. Like that was some kind of test. The previous place answered immediately but couldn't get me in until April. Uckfay that. This third choice got me in within two days. Today, in fact. At the end of the call I told the woman, "Hey! You know what? "

"What?"

"You have been VERY helpful to me today. Thank you."

Ha ha ha ha giggle giggle giggle ha ha ha giggle giggle giggle.

I mean it *click*

Apparently nobody ever tells her that.

So that was the day before yesterday, and yesterday I was woken by a phone call from the pharmacy that rejected me. It was a computer-generated reminder to request the prescription that they rejected the day before.

If you care for more of this.


Still sleeping I thought, Okay fine Mr. Computer, let's try this and have you realize it's not possible until I see the new doctor tomorrow (today). The computer passed me to a human who asked the same questions I just gave the computer and I thought, this is where I'm rejected again.

She passed me to a second human and I thought again, this is where they realize it's not possible. But the processing passed. The three-month supply will be here tomorrow.

How does that even happen?

Accident? Carelessness? Or perhaps even the user satisfaction survey I completed? I do not know.

Then I fell asleep in thirty seconds so profoundly you'd think I was dead.

And dreamt of being in India.

Here is the dream. If you care to continue, brace yourself, it's weird and disgusting and obscene.

I'm at an historic park. A large circle spread over acres. An item of historic interest is the attraction for each segment of the park. Visitors go up to the attraction, a carved monolith of some sort, a Brahman statue, and read the description of its history.

Then I vocalize a realization to an unseen traveling companion. "Each area is changing us."

How so?

"We're being re-keyed. Our energy changes. Can you feel it? It's subtle. Our vibrations are aligned and tuned. We're strengthened. Our eyesight improves. Our hearing improves. Our touch is more sensitive. Each stop is doing this. We're getting better. We're improving. Advancing. Going on to the next stage."

Is that so?

"Can't you feel it. Don't you feel it in your own voice. Feel it in the power behind your own voice. This is like a chacra thing except different."

At this point I am floating not walking and I tell this to the other visitors with assurance of knowledge and with surprising force.

But this is India.

And for all the spiritual improvement there is physical backup, a jam, that must be evacuated for the improvement to take hold. The body must be flushed. Lightened. Like a cleanse.

India. There is nothing clean about it. The rest is disgusting.

The scenery of the historic park changes to a large congested public bathroom India style.

Public. Overpopulated. Congested and compressed.

Now the park circle of historic points of interest is changed to a circle of various bathrooms, basically caves. I must choose a public bathroom.

It takes awhile to get used to the idea. I keep circling trying to put off the inevitable.

The whole place is filthy. No longer floating, I notice a slimy snake curl around the base of one of my canes. I flick it off. And pad through the filth to cave-public-bathroom.

At the entrance I'm handed a wooden placard that is the equivalent of a bathroom key.

I take the flat thin wooden placard and enter. The rock floor is slanted. I walk up to its top.

The place is disgusting. It's all men at squatting behind long narrow tables similar to a restaurant except 1,000 x more filthy. The floor is slanted and filled with shit running down. The shit is writhing with those same slime-snakes that's essential to their sewage system. I can see from under the tables some men dropping long logs of shit and other men spewing liquid diarrhea. I find an empty table and squat behind it and try to evacuate.

As I do, I notice a wooden placard floating around in the liquid sewage with President Bush's face and in Sanskrit the words, "pleased in his natural element." That would be Indian humor.

The idea behind squatting is so your cheeks are spread and your butt hole is relaxed and opened wide as it goes for full dumpage. I guess.

*bring bring*

I'm thinking, a dream like that would usually wake me as signal to go to the bathroom. But not this one. I'm fine.

It's the office downstairs. The manager, a friend, wants me to check my records and read them to her. This requires getting up. And walking. And reading.

She's remarkably patient with me. It takes a long time to pull it together.

Due to her office's directions I've been overpaying my rent and not inconsiderably. For half a year. I knew this would come out in her audit so I didn't worry about it. I considered it a kind of non-interest bearing savings account.  She asked me to confirm my own records. I had all that right there on the table so I didn't have to dig around for it. The amount due me is significant. My rent is high but because of this correction my rent for next month will be nearly zero.

The whole time I'm sitting on a barstool height chair. My legs dangle over the edge and both are tinging. Different from legs falling asleep. This energy tingling throughout my feet and legs. It's fun feeling it. Like sparkles.

And all that's worth waking up to. Worth being disturbed.

So then, two calls in one morning that go to my advantage and that is extremely rare.

But my sleep cycle is already reversed and this really messed it up.

I fell back asleep and didn't wake until seven at night. That's over twelve hours of sleep.

I think I might have missed a meal or two in there. Because I woke up starving.

This here is what you call karma. Speaking in terms of energy.

My communication with the pharmacy was kept pleasant  even though I didn't get what I needed.

My communication with the new clinic was kept pleasant even though they f'd me around on hold so many times for so incredibly long.

My communication with the office was kept pleasant even though they kept telling me to pay more than my own records show that I should.

Then it all came together by quickly and effortlessly locating a new doctor, refilling a prescription that by law should not have been filled, and a very large reduction in next month rent.

And the moral to these stories is ... um ... *drums fingers * ... When you're sleeping, don't reflexively tell everyone who calls you via computer connection to fuck off.