Marilyn's Diary

I really hated my cousin Eddie. What a little prick. And I mean that in every sense of the word.

He used to sneak around trying to get a glimpse of me in a compromising position. Not when I was naked. That would be normal. But when I was peeing. Or wiping myself. He was a total little freak.

When my Uncle Herman left us Eddie was really happy. He could go out all night and peep in windows and steal soiled underwear from the hampers of our neighbors. He was totally out of control. Aunt Lily didn't care anymore since she was getting her plastic surgery and hanging out with that Polish movie director and the weird hairstylist and the freaky lesbian whose family invented coffee or something. So little Eddie ran wild.

He was so out of control that they family had to have an intervention. They wanted to send him to military school but none of them would take him since werewolves were not allowed in the army. They were afraid of them attacking other soldiers in the shower or the foxhole or something. Don't get me wrong, many werewolves served in the military. Admiral Halsey was a well known lycanthrope from way back. But if they didn't ask he wouldn't tell. Eddie always told. So they couldn't put him in the military school.

So they decided to send him to Japan to study the martial arts. Aunt Lily thought that would give him some discipline and training that would allow him to restrain his wolf like nature and his love of urine. It seemed to work. He stayed there for a while and came back and ended up in Hollywood. Aunt Lily introduced him to some of her old friends and became a popular B-movie actor in Kung Fu flicks for a while. Now he is a fat loser with a reality show. Which got canceled. 

Of course that is not such a big deal. There are a lot of fat losers with canceled reality shows.  But he is happy I guess. And so am I.

Cause he ain't sneaking into the laundry room and stealing my panties.