Elizabeth Warren extends previous story to jump the "me too" bandwagon

Our favorite 100% Native American politician with fetching high cheekbones of the type generally seen among North American Amerind tribes, told an innocent story to amuse the mourners at law professor Eugene Smith's funeral. You know, to relax some of the pressure. She said he once playfully chased her around the desk in her office. Oh, those were the days of innocence and sunshine and youthful fun. How we all laughed together at such cheerful play. That was in a previous century, year 1977.

Her story has been updated for a new century to fit a new prerogative and to fit Actress Alyssa Milano's "me too" campaign revived from Tarana Burke's campaign of 2007 intended to give men a sense of the magnitude of the problem of sexual aggression. Now Elizabeth Warren's description of law professor Eugene Smith chasing her around his desk is a lot more menacing. The new version has her escaping quickly, sitting down in her office and thinking what did she do to bring this about and wearing a lot of brown thereafter. Warren neglects mentioning Smith lived with polio so however whatever happened it had to be awkward. Hard to tell by two distinctly separate versions.

This item was seen at Legal Insurrection where William Jacobson lays out all the steamy details, the full text of what Elizabeth Warren said both times. But who can even read all that knowing the woman lies pathologically? Good as it all is, Jacobson is always so thorough as law professors are wont, honestly, listening to children is much more interesting than reading Elisabeth Warrens words, children's fantasies pure without malice aforethought. But why should Elizabeth Warren stop when the left keeps rewarding her so richly for her distortions and her malevolence? You can tell Jacobson really doesn't like this woman. He's covered her a few times before.

His commenters over there are the same. They do come up with some good remarks. I tend to go straight to comments. Because Jacobson is so detailed and so lawyerly thorough whatever he says is mentioned in comments, so you'll know what he wrote without actually reading it. Plus some. Here's one such comment by member DanJ1:

Changing the tone of the story to meet a particular need is nothing new for these Leftists. I remember Me-chelle Obama telling a funny story on Letterman about going to Target incognito to rub elbows with the little people when a short woman asked her if she could help her get something from the top shelf. Scroll forward and when she needed to connect with blacks the story turned into a racist white woman assuming that this black woman would serve her.

That compelled guyjones to remark:

I remember when this story came out. It’s when I realized that Michelle Obama is a complete narcissistic sociopath who is transparently desperate to claim alleged “victim of racism” status despite her undeniably privileged, dilettante life. Because, only a total sociopath would unabashedly recycle a narrative that had been previously related with heartwarming undertones on the Tonight Show (i.e., the woman who obviously didn’t recognize her, asking for help in getting an item off the shelf), and, then, one year later, proffer the same tale, only this time, as alleged evidence of the woman’s racist behavior. The hapless woman went public with her protestations of innocence and her bewilderment that Michelle Obama would characterize her innocuous and innocent behavior as racist, but, her narrative received little attention. 

To falsely accuse someone of racism is contemptible, especially, when the accuser is a woman wielding extraordinary power and (undeserved) moral clout. 

Oprah did the same thing to a poor clerk in a luxury handbag store in Europe. 

Bandwagons are gauche. I too have anecdotes of unwanted sexual aggression, assertiveness actually, from both females and males, at work, at school, at clubs, and just out and about, but jumping a national bandwagon? How common. If I jumped on then I'd be just another person riding a train and there'd go my personal unique anecdotes to a trundling boxcar of similar tales. And they're too precious for that.

We know who Elizabeth Warren is. We know what she does. We know what her supporters are looking for. Why bother giving her the time of day? Her words are meaningless. We know Elizabeth Warren will never do anything for anybody unless there is something in it for herself that she can use. So, let's be of good cheer and just take something from Elizabeth Warren without giving her anything. I don't like talking about her any more than reading her. Let's use her instead.

Back on the Indian reservation somewhere desolate and without hope and without access to elite education, the noble savage Elizabeth Warren manages to scrounge up some interesting authentic Amerind recipes that are nothing at all like you'd expect. You might be thinking such basics as elk jerky, corn meal mush with wild goat cheese with berries and jalapeño peppers, pine nut and thistle salad with deer blood dressing, fried cactus, popcorn, and flat bread. No, not at all what you might be expecting, like river trout, bean soup with fried squash. Pure authentic full blooded natural born Amerinds like Elizabeth Warren are a lot more interesting than that.

From the Pow Wow Chow cookbook, real live 100% authentic recipes that positively weren't plagiarized from Pierre Franey of NYT published in Virgin Island Daily News.

8 eggs
2 Tbsp chopped parsley
1 Tbsp chopped tarragon
1/4 cup heavy cream
3/4 cup peeled, cubed tomato
4 tsp butter
Salt and pepper
1 LB crab with tomato mayonnaise dressing
More tomato
Parsley sprigs for garnish

Directions: Make a couple omelets, add the stuff.

If you need more words, there's a lot more words here on imgur

Reading the recipe kills me. It is to laugh. It's like expecting the reader never cooked anything before, doesn't know how to pour water without instructions to avoid spilling, or how to turn on the stove. As if cooking is a foreign activity like Elizabeth Warren telling the plain simple truth.

But a lot of people actually need that. Like young newlyweds, or teenagers just recently moved away from home. Latchkey kids. Or specialists in another field, scientists, left-brain people intensely concrete.

One time I watched my dad try to make scalloped potatoes by following a recipe. This episode went far in understanding my dad. An impressively smart man in his ways. But not when it comes to chopping vegetables and combining natural things to eat with various durations and forms of heat, frying, broiling, baking, microwaving, braising, roasting, stovetop, oven, grill, dry, in oil, steamed, boiled in water. It was all beyond him, so he read his recipe line for line performing each function as he encountered it. He did not read the whole thing through before starting, did not grasp what's going on, and then use the ideas presented as basis for his own ideas and on what he has on hand. So it couldn't occur to him to use cream instead of milk, or chicken or beef broth, or cheese of various types, or hot peppers, or garlic, or ham or bacon, or any other herb except what is specified and in the exact measured amount. He couldn't expand on the recipe, and he couldn't simplify the recipe. The recipe was law. Just like Elizabeth Warren unable to be original. And she, a professor.

On the shores of Gitche Gumee
Of the shining big sea water
Stood Eugene the old professor
Pointing with his crooked finger
Standing on his shrunken leg
Leaning on two walking sticks.

Leaning on his thick shillelaghs
Pointing to the fair ripe maiden
Lithely standing in his doorway.
"Come," said Smith the law professor
Creaking on his walking sticks.
pointing with his crooked finger
Should you ask me of your classes
I will tell what you must know.
I will answer of your grading.
I will say what you must do.

Come fair maiden of the mountains
Of the rivers running wild.
Maiden of the singing wind storms
Maiden of the open sky.
Fair one with the red hot embers
Woman with the fiery eyes.
I will tell you of your midterms
I will say what you must do.

Here's young Elizabeth Warren alluring in her primitive sensuality being chased around a desk by an old law professor with polio. Elizabeth is so playful and fun.