Via Instapundit: When I was in my twenties and had a date, this is what I would do. I would wake up early like it was Christmas and wash my car. Hand wash. None of this driving through a machine bullshit. Then I would hand pick the the songs I wanted to play and load the CDs into my six disc changer in the trunk. Then I would go workout so I felt good about myself. Then I would drive to the movie theater to buy the tickets in advance so we wouldn’t have to wait in line (this was before the internet). And of course, dinner reservations were already made. After getting ready, I would pick her up from her apartment. I would park my car, walk to the door, and knock. I would compliment her appearance and mean it as we walked to my car. I would open the door for her. And if there was a spark and things went well on the date, she’d get flowers or a note or something she can actually hold in the next few days.
If you’re a male in your twenties, you may read this and think, “Wow, what a loser.” Well, okay. But this process is what made dating fun, exciting, romantic, and fulfilling. It made the date a mini event, something to look forward to. It wasn’t just about the person. It was about the whole date experience. But more importantly, It gave two people a real chance because effort was put into it. Today, a date is a coffee or a drink but not dinner because what if they don’t look like their picture. Today, a date is “I’ll meet you there”. Today, a date is a thirty minute Skype call. Today, a date is a general meeting. Today, a date is not really a date because there’s no such thing anymore.
I get that we meet people online now. I get that there’s false advertising. Yes, I’ve been catfished before and it sucks. Instead of creating a space for romance, curiosity, build up, foreplay, and flirting, we just want the punchline. We want to check the boxes as fast as we can. Because we have options. And no patience. We know we can swipe and find another prospect while our date is in the restroom. So dating just becomes a bunch of lottery balls boucing in the glass box. Except the lottery balls are faces and the glass box is our phone.
If you’re a male in your twenties, you may read this and think, “Wow, what a loser.” Well, okay. But this process is what made dating fun, exciting, romantic, and fulfilling. It made the date a mini event, something to look forward to. It wasn’t just about the person. It was about the whole date experience. But more importantly, It gave two people a real chance because effort was put into it. Today, a date is a coffee or a drink but not dinner because what if they don’t look like their picture. Today, a date is “I’ll meet you there”. Today, a date is a thirty minute Skype call. Today, a date is a general meeting. Today, a date is not really a date because there’s no such thing anymore.
I get that we meet people online now. I get that there’s false advertising. Yes, I’ve been catfished before and it sucks. Instead of creating a space for romance, curiosity, build up, foreplay, and flirting, we just want the punchline. We want to check the boxes as fast as we can. Because we have options. And no patience. We know we can swipe and find another prospect while our date is in the restroom. So dating just becomes a bunch of lottery balls boucing in the glass box. Except the lottery balls are faces and the glass box is our phone.
So how do we change this?
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3 comments:
I imagine dating, as such, is a relatively new phenomenon.
Back when, kids met at a barn-raising or local dance.
times do change, but I think what Lem's complaining about is the formality of it all, the gender roles. I think going back to that means getting rid of the slob Culture, which means getting rid of the Lefties.
My wife and I have been married for 35 years and I still open doors for her - not due to patriarchy, but due to respect and love.
We go someplace together and observe two main things about other couples we see:
1) They spend so much time looking at their phones they don't even speak to each other
2) Even if the woman is nicely dressed - whatever that may be - the guy usually looks like he just finished changing the oil on his car
It's really sad.
What he said.
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