Sunday, July 30, 2017

ice cream cones


Because. That's why.

Maybe you're thinking this is all well and good but you must have waffled homemade cones for your ice cream. And that's certainly possible. The waffle irons for this are only $50.00 for a million dollars of joy and that's a very good deal. But then you'd have two waffle irons in your appliance closet and that's going a little overboard with the unitask appliances. Don't you think? Plus, this way is just so rustic.

If your cones fail maybe you could make fortune cookies instead. And write ridiculous fortunes to stick inside them and blow everyone's mind.

* Don't listen to that other fortune cookie.
* Maybe you should try Tarot cards.
* With a diet like this you'll never lose weight.
* Beware men with ponytails that offer you a ride in their van.
* Those shoes look terrible on you.
* Buying a house isn't always a great idea.
* The next selfie you take could be your last.
* Consider cactus for house plants.
* In the Garden of Delight, you're what we call a fouled bird bath.
* They put MSG all up in here.
* The next solar eclipse really does mean something terrible.
* The bad thing about Uber is literally just anyone can be a driver.
* No matter what I say you're going to try to mess it up.
* Your personality type is resistant to common sense advice.
* If you wen't so easily addicted to things you'd be satisfied with one cookie.
* Gazing at star constellations never did anyone any good.
* Try working on your interpersonal skills for once. 
* You avoided the more difficult STEM classes and now look at you.
* So you're the boss of everyone. Scared a' you. 


Eric the Fruit Bat said...

When I was a little kid, we never went out for ice cream. Not in the budget.

So my mom made ice cream cones for us at home. She only used those ice cream cones that were, like, engineered from Styrofoam. I had no idea that the other kind of cone even existed. And then I went to a birthday party and I was all weirded out when they gave us regular ice cream cones. And the ice cream melted inside the cone and it dripped out of the opening in the bottom of the cone. Yuk. I knew from Saturday morning TV commercials that the very worst possible thing that could ever possibly happen is a mess . . . a Chocolate mess!!!

Anyway, and then in the fullness of time I became a grownup -- more or less -- and then, all of a sudden . . . POW!!! . . . . they invented the waffle cone.

The WAFFLE cone!!!1!!1!!!!

And there I was, all weirded out, all over again.

Some things never change.


Eric the Fruit Bat said...

P.S. My wife just informed me that there is now such a thing as a PRETZEL cone.

Holy crap!

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

Is this a great country, or what.