Saturday, May 13, 2017

"Do you want me to chop your chicken?"

I had never been asked that so I didn't know how to answer.

I must have appeared momentarily confused or else appeared just flat stupid while considering two options and imagining the consequences visualizing cut versus whole. The meat counter guy asked me and how I answer him now determines how I cook this thing later. They're not so fun to cut up as Julia Childs makes it seem.


He began cutting and then, "Want the thigh and leg cut?"

Another unexpected question.


"Apologies for taking so long to answer but I wasn't prepared for any questions. I wasn't expecting a pop quiz."

He thought that was funny.

"Because pop quizzes always make me really NERVOUS!"

What a liar. I liked pop quizzes. I always thought, "Oh goodie" when the kids around me were going "Oh no," I thought they gave me a chance to prove, and I thought that even when I blew it.


Chip Ahoy said...

A friend of mine whose like seventy would have answered by striking a gunslinger's pose and asking sharply, "Want your tits blown off?"

Because that's the punchline to a fifty-year old joke of his about a five-year old boy being asked by the soda jerk if the boy wants his nuts crushed on his sundae.

Want two scoops? (sweetly, "yeah!")
Want chocolate syrup? (sweetly, "yeah!")
Want whipped cream? (sweetly, "yeah!")
Want a cherry on top? (sweetly, "yeah!")
Want your nuts crushed? (harshly, want your tits shot off?)

It's how the dude acted it out that makes it funny. So it's less funny when the meat counter guy has his back turned to you. But it's still a good answer.

ricpic said...

You Want Rough? I'll Show You Rough!

"Chop your chicken?
Yank your balls?"

"Let's go over
Niagara Falls! "

ndspinelli said...

I agree, chopping up a chicken is not a piece o' cake.

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

I have seen cooked chicken or duck get chopped at Chinese places.

Trooper York said...

Chip you just have to worry if the guy asks if you want him to choke your chicken.

Chip Ahoy said...

I just now emailed the friend who told the joke.

He said he forgot all about that joke. He used to like to tell it. Takes a bit of acting. He burst out laughing so loudly the people in the restaurant think he's a nutter so he told them all the joke.

chickelit said...

Do you want me to chop your chicken?

I resemble that remark.