“Think as I think,” said a man, “or you are abominably wicked; you are a toad.” And after I thought of it, I said, “I will, then, be a toad.” ― Stephen Crane
Happy Birthday, Chiclet! Don't get drunk on Acrylic beer or electic prune juice.
That's pretty nice. It's like a Laugh In beer can.It's odd. I'm down to the last bottle of beer that my friend made. So just today I bought two 6-packs of one of those new local type of small brewery deals. Except this is Coors doing it. What a bunch of psycher outers. You see, they took one of their old breweries out of mothballs to spearhead their effort to counter the new local small brewery craze. They advertise using all Colorado ingredients. Oh yeah? Do they use Colorado aluminum in their cans? Colorado sand for their glass bottles? Colorado trees for their cardboard, and Colorado sources for their printing ink? Huh? At any rate I find the beer to be very good. But it's for other people. It's something we blokes do by way of meeting people. Goes like this:"Hello, my name is Chip. Would you like a beer?""No." "How about a refreshing carbonated beverage?""No." "A cup of tea?""No." "Coffee?" "No." *uncomfortable pause* "Ovaltine?"GODDAMNIT NO! *winces* I'm going to be sad when the last bottle of homemade beer is gone. It really is very good beer. That whole thing was really fun. But they did say the beer lasts for six months and then age begins to affect the taste after that, and the six months is used up so it's time for remaining bottles to go.And that makes me sad.And that also makes me want to do it again just for the heck of it. Try something different next time.I recall touring the Coors factory. Dreadful place, architecturally. It takes brutalism to its stripped bleakest, grayest, most utilitarian, most insufferably communist in appearance and by its insistence on being a festering steaming dripping stained concrete sore dominating the landscape like a filthy Harkonnen spaceship.Inside they spread barley grain across a large naked concrete floor and soaked it with water. They tended the huge pile, raked flat across the floor, upturned to aerate repeatedly for days, and kept wet until the seeds germinate. Then they're dried rapidly and toasted and crushed. And this right here is a process called "malting." Seed germination is the point where the seeds are most vulnerable to infection by yeast and by bacteria. They get a little sourdough thing going on right at that early tender point and the whole pile is killed fast as it starts. So their beer has malt in it. Malt is a process. The process involves germinating seed and toasting.I want to do that too. While malt comes in powder form and in syrup form too. It's like malt extract. It's a sugar. I want that in my beer. Because malt is great in everything. Which is why Frau Blücher offered Frankenstein Ovaltine.
Happy Birthday dude.
Many happy, dude.
Well, Happy Birthday to you!
A special beer for a special Chicken. Cheers.
Chickenman! He's everywhere! He's everywhere! Bruck, bruck bruck bra!(By day a mild-mannered shoe salesman named Benton Harbor, on the weekends donning his chicken suit to fight crime and/or evil!)
Chip, you very much should try homebrewing. It would combine your fascination for germination, and Egyptology.
According to some authorities, the ancient Egyptians named chemistry.
So I was listening to The Band and heard the song Atlantic City, which I don't recall hearing back in the olden times, and that song included the lyrics "Well they blew up the chicken man In Philly last nightNow they blew up his house too"So I did a search and now I find that Bruce "The Commie" Springsteen wrote that song, and it was "based on a true story" involving going against a Sicilian when death is on the line. Don't do that.Now I am torn whether to like The Band's version or eschew the entire thing.In any case, happy birthday, my goombah, may you have many more years of good chemistry.
To get back to the warning that I received. You may take it with however many grains of salt that you wish. That the brown acid that is circulating around us isn't too good. It is suggested that you stay away from that. Of course it's your own trip. So be my guest, but please be advised that there is a warning on that one, ok?
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