Wednesday, August 31, 2016


A friend wrote and asked me if I had any ideas for a new restaurant in town, and I do.

I went there but it was closed. I misread the hours. They do not open until 5:00PM and I still would like to try them.

This is the owner's second, their first by the same name is in Steamboat Springs. Or maybe I read Telluride.

The place gets great reviews all around. The kids love it. It's open late through the night. Interesting food and interesting drinks and the customers raved about the graciousness of the owners going out of their way to assure a great time by extending the menu and other offerings.

I wanted to try it so I went there and bummed out because they'd be closed for hours. They're located on ground floor of a new apartment building that a local woman referred to as "the snowflake building" due the white perforated balconies. And they really do look like snowflakes. Customers also rave about the interesting drinks that they concoct, based on a single alcohol mixed with a variety of other mixes, so you choose your mix.

Mistake. You choose a jam or preserve.

They start you out with a bag of popcorn. And a chess board is set up at the entrance. Several reviewers mentioned that, although of no interest to me. The platters are unusually long with unusual food items that customers really enjoy. They say so on all the review sites.

They're located near Speer and I-25, two major thoroughfares through town. Very close to the highway, but due to shifting angle of streets a bit confusing, the actual address is the name of an Indian tribe, Tejon, or something similar. Turns out to be Navajo, and you don't expect that. Their parking situation was dreadful the Sunday I went there. I know the area is called Highland. There are Spanish murals all over the walls that separate the highway.

I found them a few weeks ago by searching [denver, new restaurants] and they came out on top.

Now, that's quite a lot of search parameters to find them again, knowing the the name is annoyingly useless for search, don't you think?


Please agree that "There"  has be the stupidest f'n name that a restaurant could ever be named, short of 'The" or  "A" or 'And."

I spent 45 minutes trying to find the place again using all the Google fu I could muster, Google Earth, Google images, all the rest. Going down lists of new hotspot, new restaurants, new places to go, I became so cross that I began hoping the place had burned down already and in the mood to burn it down myself.

At this point I'm so angry I'm not sure I want to try them again and I don't care how good they are, how interesting, or special or how much other people like it. What an incredibly stupid name. And WHY don't they come up in searches anymore after being up front so short a time ago? I'm baffled.


Lem said...

"Tyler explains that the name There — or "there..." according to the restaurant's print and online typography — captures the idea of the place to be. If someone asks you where to meet them for cocktails, you need only say "There." But he also says the place is the culmination of decades of hard work. "We're 'There' — we've finally arrived," he states. "It's taken us 22 years to get brand-new stainless.""

Chip Ahoy said...

All that thought behind it, centering around themselves and their personal experience, and they didn't consider how totally crap the name is for everyone else. Especially for people searching across the internet. Their name does not help their business and MY experience is proof of that. I knew it was crap when I first read it.

I thought, "how am I ever to remember that? It may just as well be called That."

AprilApple said...

Have you tried Sassafras?

No? - well- go try it. There's one on Colfax (near the capital) and the original Sassafras is in highlands.

AprilApple said...

There? Really? Agreed - dumb name. Almost as lame as "next door". AS in, the kitchen next door. Although, Next Door make delish garlic potato smashers. mmmmmm. and a divine beet burger.

Lem said...

"Nobody goes there anymore... is too crowded." supposedly a yogism.

Lem said...

Which makes me think of a Lemism...

AprilApple said...

LOL - Yogi.