Thursday, September 24, 2015

"When forgiving someone who has done you wrong in a terrible way..."

"...the forgiving part is for yourself. Not the other person."
I'll admit that I'm too young for reddit (14), but feel like getting the message out there because it is still important.
I'll keep this short and simple.
Until age 6, me and my father were best friends, until he got addicted to drugs and alcohol. This happened until I was 12, so my mom would never let me see him. He got clean a few years back, but married a woman who disliked me. Therefore, he did not want to see me. I've only just fully adjusted to accepting the fact that he is out of my life, but he relapsed in drinking last year. He has been trying to contact me, but I ignored him every time. The thing is: it was and still is too mentally exhausting for me to deal with him.
It started with his liver. Now, most of his organs are shutting down like clockwork. He is very sick and is practically pleading to spend a day with me and I've decided to give it a shot. For peace between the two of us.
I go and see him tomorrow before he gets moved to another hospital. I'm not sure what to expect.
Remember, forgiving is for yourself, not for the other person. Don't be afraid of giving forgiveness.
-This might be deleted later, just trying to get my mind off of things and it helped somewhat..
Via Reddit


Methadras said...

Like a 14 year old, he is using forgiveness as a greedy tool. You forgive those that transgressed against you, so that both of you may find peace, not just you. Mercy has a purpose, use it wisely.

edutcher said...

You do have to let go of it.

William said...

Forgiveness demonstrates that you're not as big a dick as the person who wronged you. Yeah, right. You can forgive the wound but not the scar.

William said...

There's a French movie called Ridicule. It has one unforgettable scene. The man who has wronged the protagonist has had a stroke and can no longer speak. The protagonist visits him and asks the nurse to leave them alone for a moment so he can say something in private. The protagonist then pisses on the stroke victim, but takes care to aim his stream at the victim's midsection. When the nurse comes back, he tells her that the poor man was so excited to see him that the poor man lost control of his bladder......That's a so much better resolution of a past wrong than offering forgiveness.

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

This sounds sort of melodrama-ish and fictional, but assuming it is real this would be my advice: When he is gone there is no resolution possible with him. I would go and hear what he had to say. If you want to forgive him after that, it is up to you.

Michael Haz said...

I believe that that small statement was excerpted from The Way of Serenity, a wonderful book authored by Fr. Jonathon Morris. His mediation on forgiveness is well worth reading, as is the rest of his book.