Brandi Walton speaks out at the Federalist
Linked to this from the sidebar at Ace and momentarily entered a surreal space. The page on Federalist looks like an advertisement and I had not heard of this author nor care to look further. She's probably legit. I don't know and I don't care.
The story is anti LBGT. It is a story about a girl raised by lesbians but not feeling a part of LBGT community nor a supporter of their cause and as I reader I fall into line thinking, "We all knew there will be cases like this. Do tell." So, I'm open for a description of her experience and continued. And then at about 1/4 or 1/3 way through while reading her life experience a thought formed alongside it and rode along as I continued reading, "Were I a social conservative against SSM this is what a surface description would look like."
I could no longer pretend to read the rest wholeheartedly nor completely openly. What a predicament, to want to know and get at intimate truth but question the verity of its author. It was ruined by the sense I am being tricked by a writer not quite sufficiently clever. Here's why. I've spoken with people raised by lesbians at length because I'm curious and they're open. It's interesting. They are interesting. They have interesting lives. The unique details of their lives are quite something to keep conversation going. The things that they will tell you are entertaining and gripping. Now I'm reading suspiciously. Were I to contrive such an experience I'd have to come up with intimate anecdotes of how it affected my life profoundly and negatively. Not cite studies about me and my type. My story would be intimate with unusual details not a general surface argument, rather, a deep personal argument from the point of view of a child. The closest she comes to this is, and listen to how surface skimming this is, "I spent a lot of time in my friend's homes that had dads." And, "I wanted to know what it was like to be loved by a man. My uncles tried to fill the gap but I always knew they were substitutes." That sounded a bit like bad romance book writing. That rings as surface feelings imagined by conservative more than it rings heartfelt feelings of a girl grown up talking to me about her unusual life.
I am not going to question her story anymore. Nor the author. I like these real people raised by real lesbians too much to do that. Let's say she and her story are true. Fine. Okay? You're all very real. There.
What I am telling you is this, Brandi Walton, the page produced over there at the Federalist has the feel of an advertisement to it and your story sounds like you're selling something, and your description is a surface description of the product you're selling, anti same sex marriage. That's what I'm saying.
And it occurred to me while reading your page, no matter how valid and true, were I to produce a fake page to advocate such with a fake author and fake bio it would look like this except with a lot more intimate and unusual details and not surface descriptions that are common girlish feelings and with less obvious straight up advocation citing studies.
17 comments:
Hi, Chip. Thank you for sharing your perspective. The truth is, my mom is still alive, unlike many of the others speaking out, and because of this I hesitated to talk about the intimate details. This is all new to me and I'm just trying to find my way. I'd be more than happy to talk to you off the record about my life growing up. It's hard to tell a story in 1200 characters or less, ya know?
In any case, thank you again for posting this and bringing it to my attention. I will work on being more transparent in the future.
Have a wonderful day!
Brandi Walton
Children of gay couples have a unique and valid perspective.
"No, I would never align myself to a community as intolerant and self-absorbed as the LGBT community, a community that demands tolerance with fervor and passion, yet does not give it in return, even to its own members at times. In fact, this community attacks anyone who does not agree with them, no matter how lovingly any difference of opinion is expressed."
It must have been exhausting living with that militancy and anger hanging over everything.
Perhaps yours is a unique experience. I would hope that gay couples raising their children do so out of love and tolerance.
Brandi, on behalf of myself and most others here, we support you 100%.
The gay couples I know, both lesbian and male, are not especially strident, although some of their friends and defenders are. The male gay couple I know are relatively conservative on most issues, and really bristle at the strident activist gays. Their kids are very traditional, straight, and with big families,and that's exactly what they want. They simply found themselves attracted to and in love with someone of the same sex.
We have to be careful and understand that most people in a group, such as gays, populate the normal part of the curve on most things. They want to raise their kids just like everyone else, and they want them to grow up normal, tolerant, and reasonable. You can, however, find yourself in a group that is a self-selecting outlier with extreme views, but that does not describe the whole group.
A lot of people have the same skewed ideas about conservatives or religious people. They may imagine them as fanatical, intolerant, anti-science nutjobs. There are such people after all, and they raise kids, who often rebel against that and tell tales later, which the other side latches on to and exploits.
The problem is that the extremists get all the press and attention and the silent reasonable majorities are left painted with that and helpless to do anything about it. It's a war between the militaries and the civilians take all the casualties. Hate the haters, but the rest are likely just like you, or at least more like you than different.
Don Draper took 400 blows in the most recent episode of Mad Men. The final blow was delivered by his daughter, straight from her heart . . . POW!!! . . . right to his gut.
One could be forgiven for thinking, at first blush, that she was complaining merely about too much heterosexuality. There was more to it than that, of course.
Growing up is not easy. And it isn't fun.
And that is just one of a whole bunch of reasons why we should all be nicer to one another.
Godspeed, Ms. Walton, godspeed.
Sick of the injunction to tolerate the intolerant.
Or to be more specific why is it incumbent on "straights" to more than accept, to CELEBRATE homosexuals of both sexes and not the other way around?
Brandi seems like a fine girl. She would be a good wife.
Thank you bagoh, well put.
I appreciate hearing Brandi's viewpoint. Not all Gay couples or Same Sex families are the same.
Bagoh said it quite well: We have to be careful and understand that most people in a group, such as gays, populate the normal part of the curve on most things
And it does seem that only the most strident loudest voices are the ones being heard.
Children naturally want to fit in with the crowd. Make friends. Not be the odd one standing out and excluded from the social interaction of the rest of the children. To live on the edge and worry that your parent's choices will make you excluded or even make you the target is extremely stressful.
Brandi seems to be still quite young. Persuasive writing skills, the instinct for just the right word or phrase for your perspective, just the right construction, and/or when to drop in an anecdote, reference, joke, statistic etc. develop over time.
(See, e.g., Bagoh.)
Stealth obscure comedy commenting, Advanced Level Seminar. (Rabel.)
I just read the Wikipedia entry for The 400 Blows and learned that the title doesn't mean what I always thought it meant, even after having seen the movie.
Hooray! I'm an idiot!
Her eyes can steal a sailor from the sea.
if you are part of a protected social group, black, gay, etc. you are expected to toe the party line. You are protected, and you damn well better appreciate that!!
Brandi - enjoyed your post. Keep on writing - you have talent.
Thank you, Brandy. The sailors say you're a fine girl (you're a fine girl.)
The last daughter of female SSM I spoke with said thank you for saving her. I have no idea what I did. I asked her and she just repeated my mere presence popping up as I did at the moment I did saved her somehow.
The young man before that was my favorite of all people's reaction to the exact same Christmas present, and there were some good ones including my Father's and another friends. Of some 22 or 25 recipients his was the best.
I didn't know what to do. Honestly. The people I know have whatever they wish. Toni is impossible to buy for. She makes it purposefully so. It's a game with her. So she can have something to bitch about, people not treating properly in accordance with her expectations for them, for me, for everybody. The thing is, she puts so much incredible thought into presents herself. She thinks in advance and makes purchases months in advance based on what she gleans from conversations. She is very good gift giver.
But not for me.
She gives me shit presents and expects me to be trilled with them. Expects me to wear them. Expect me to hang them on my wall. While simultaneously being insanely particular about incredibly specific details about jewelry. No, not that, No, not that, No, not that. No not that. No, not that. No, not that. No, not that. Well fuck you then, pick out your own jewelry.
So I thought, what can I get everybody. Mum, Dad, bros, sis, waitresses important to me at the time. Friends. Bartenders. Equally. What could it be?
What was the original thing?
What is the whole idea?
Frankincense, myrrh, gold.
There is a Catholic store nearby. They sell everything related to churches. They have all that stuff and more.
Frankincense came in an impressive tall six-sided box. All little nuggets like amber.
Myrrh is worse. Also little nuggets somewhat woody. Nothing can be done with it. It's awful. It didn't burn well. It didn't soak with oil. It wasn't particularly fragrant. Eh. It's in the bible so I got that too. It's burnable and discardable.
Gold is the foil wrapped chocolate Hanukah coins. They come in little net bags. Everybody gets a bag of those.
A kit for each person with these three items plus coal discs like cough drops or Necco wafers that starts incense. The most interesting item in the kit is the frankincense, that's what had the most interest for people, and that is what caused the most problems. My own dad was fascinated and completely taken with finally knowing what frankincense is. So did the son of two charming and gentle and level lesbians. He was bartender. I gave him his little box. He was so thrilled to have a gift from a customer. He PISSED himself over the frankincense. He was so fun to watch playing with it stinking up the whole bar, breaking one glass ash tray after another, POP ha ha ha ha ah POP ha ah ah ah ha ha POP ha ha ha ha hah He had a blast. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for this. This is the BEST.
He was the best. Damnit that was fun. By contrast one of the waitress did not comprehend it at all. Not. One. Bit. She thought I was weird. The gift actually sort of wrecked our little relationship there. It was different thereafter. The frankincense was loaded into little Christmas bulbs. The little bulbs were the containers that held the tiny stones for each little kit. So everybody got a little Christmas tree bulb inside the little box. She thought that was it. She couldn't make the connection between frankincense and a Christmas gift. It fell flat. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. See? Some people are just too thick to enjoy things. I didn't bother explaining. Why bother? Let somebody else do it.
Gauging different reactions turned out to be a blast. John G. burned down his coffee table and that tells me he had a whole lot of fun with it.
The third adopted daughter of Lesbians baked us all a cake. Twelve years old black girl sweet as can be adjust well in mixed adult party male, female, gays, straights. The girls mother adores me and I like her a lot. Rose, I do not know the other one that well. The girl talked to me about her cake and I was well impressed with her mad baking skills. Then later a man sitting next to me goes, "Ugh, gross. An egg shell. There' s an egg shell in this fucking cake." And I don't care who ya are that's there's just funny. I said, "the little girl made the cake." Still bizarrely cross, he snapped at me, "WELL SHE SHOULD KNOW BETTER! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha that made my whole day. You fucking moron she's a little girl!
Here's the thing about people like Brandi who were raised by same-sex parents, but who think children (including themselves) ought to be raised by a mom and dad: according to so-called progressives, they are evil haters and bigots. Because that's what progressives call anyone who believes children deserve a mom and dad.
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