Wednesday, July 16, 2014

"Weird Al" Yankovic - Word Crimes


 
If you can't write in the proper way
If you don't know how to conjugate
Maybe you flunked that class
And maybe now you thought
That people mock you online

10 comments:

Unknown said...

Hire a cunning linguist.

(bwahaaahaahaaaaaaaaaa)

He's a genius!

Unknown said...

The overuse of "literally" and "like" and "like literally" are indeed maddening.

The Dude said...

May God bless and keep Mr. Yankovic safe from word criminals. Fer reelz!

Unknown said...

The proper way to tell someone, snarkily, that you do NOT care about something, is:
"I could NOT care less."

Most peapods say "I could care less."
Good call Yankovic.

Icepick said...

"I could care less" is acceptable, if followed up properly.

For example, "I COULD care less about the World Cup - but only if you gave me a lobotomy."

Unknown said...

Weird Al has a big...

dictionary.

Sexed up for modern consumption. I like it.

Unknown said...

I you can care less, that means that you care a little. There's a drop of care there. If a lobotomy is required to remove the last drop of care, then perhaps you should consider a spine adjustment instead.

Chip Ahoy said...

irregardless is a cross between irrespective and regardless.

My favorite from the Zimmerman trial was "I don't read cursive" regarding a woman's own note (that someone else wrote.)

But I felt for her because I don't read hieratic, cursive hieroglyphic and I cannot understand why either, except that I'm just a dummkopf.

To compensate I gave directions twice today within a single block. A man approached me and I thought, "Here we go, he's going to want a dollar or something," but no, he asked how far away Alamada is, and drawing upon my superior road-knowledge I said, "This is 11th, and Alamada is just beyond 1st, and 0 is named Ellsworth, meaning he has a 10 block walk.

Then right after that two Munchkin types approached and asked, "Is 19th that way?" I said, "Yes. This is 10th and streets are arranged numerically." Meaning they have a 9 block walk.

Real walkers, these three.

I felt like calling a cab for these three blokes but they took off so fast they disappeared.. And I continue walking thinking, "Jeeze, and this whole time I thought there was an app for that. Don't they have androids or what? I guess not everyone does."

I'm hosting a dinner tonight. I had to clean up the joint. Dust. Put away things. PIck up. You know, pretend I'm civilized.

But a dog piddled by the elevator. Over a period of days the piddle spot darkened. So I rolled my super sucking carpet steam cleaner down there and hit the spot, but did not do the whole area on account of being lazy and I don't want the Labor Union on my back. Now the clean spot sticks out like a shining clean island amongst the regular carpet.

As I walked by the manager's office she yelled, "Chip! Was that you practicing your carpet cleaning skillz?" I asked did she hear it or what? She goes "No. I saw it. And that made me think, wow, that machine really works. What kind of cleaner did you use?" I told her the kind you get at the dollar store for next to nothing, named Awesome. Cheapest stuff ever but, Boy, does it work.

Amartel said...

Weird Al faves:
-"Another one Rides the Bus" (hey, he's going to sit by YOU)
"Eat It" ("Beat it")
Like a Sturgeon (Like a Virgin)
I Lost on Jeopardy (Our Love's in Jeopardy - Greg Kihn)

The best.

deborah said...

Conjunction junction, what's your function?