"My New York wasn’t lost with the gentrification of the East Village — a once edgy, tattered, soulful neighborhood turned into a massive food court."
Or with the closing of CBGB, or the morphing of SoHo into a shopping center, with crowds to rival Times Square.
It was with the audio automation in the subway — that voice, like a computerized Verizon operator, intoning the stops. You could be in any city.
Where’s the man at the wheel who tells you it’s his birthday, gives a thumbnail history of Astor Place or barks, “Let’s Go Mets!” as he’s pulling into Willets Point?
Couldn’t they at least have given the robot a New York accent?
17 comments:
This is the typical hipster lament for a New York that they are nostalgic for that suck dead dogs balls.
Nothing is worse than being in a stifling hot subway car with a killer hangover holding on to a greasy overhead pole as the train shuffles in fits and starts as the lights go on and off and some douchebag is all happy and peppy and bursting with song as he "entertains" you with his snappy patter.
You want to jump from swaying train to train until you got to the conductor so you could choke out his loud obnoxious ass.
@Tr oop/
Or as Kate@smalldeadanimals says: "Riding Mass Transit Is Like Inviting 20 Random hitchhikers Into Your Car." LOL!
He's nostalgic for the lower East Side before gentrification? Rats, cockroaches and break-ins. You haven't lived until you've risen from bed to chase away a one foot on the firescape one foot in your apartment burglar.
That guy thinks he's got problems?
I just came back from buying a six pack at Wegman's and the cashier put an ugly fluorescent sticker on it that says "PAID."
AND IT WON'T COME OFF!!!1!!!
I was on the F train once riding express back in the 1970's when this douchenozzle is so nostalgic about riding the subway surrounded by homeless people who smell like shit and piss on the seats.
There was this big half a retard guy with coke bottle glasses making some politically incorrect jokes about black people. There were about ten yutes with doo rags with their right hand bitches on the way to the city. There was a little banter back and forth and then this bantam rooster dude got up and started wailing on the half a retard white guy who was pretty big but didn't really know how to handle himself. This woman started screaming and went to pull the emergency cord. I stopped her. The worst thing to do is to stop the train and be trapped in the new R-46 car that was locked and kept you inside. You don't hit the cord. You wait until it gets to the next station. Then you hit the cord and wait for the cops. Or at least let them wait while you cross over to the other platform and take the local.
That kind of stuff happened all the time before Giuliani cleaned up the city.
No person in their right mind would miss that.
Crappy speakers, idiots with Y*nkee accents, they might as well have been speaking Pakistani - never understood a freakin' thing those mooks said.
Japanese subways are much nicer. More polite. And I could always understand what they were saying.
But the best subway is no subway at all, including the sammich shop.
We still have the real voice on the t.
tits.
Mind the gap, Bitches.
USE YAH BLINKAH
I cracked up on the line to Jamaica Bay at a woman yelling at one of her two sons, "PUTON YAH SWEATAH"
I used to hang out there when it was full of junkies.
That tells you how bad the gentrification crowd is…you would rather have the junkies.
I agree troop, but you have to admit the hipsters do suck.
There was an old Russian-Jewish sauna down there I went to a few time. You would go lower and lower into the building till it was a fiery stone steam hell where old dudes beat each other with oak branches (and no it was not a gay S&M scene).
Crazy.
Good times, good times.
Actually it is still there.
It was not $35 a day when I went…
People were pissed about those signs Chip.
And no one is going to use their blinkah in Bawston-please.
I hate hipsters....they are slowly devouring my hood one beard and and tat at a time.tits
You crazy easterners. Turning babies into drones.
WE are crazy April, but kind of fab. And you can gay married in any of our states!
I am off to dindin at Barbara Lynch's Menton or something like that. The whore just won some James Beard thing so the place will be packed.
Wish me luck, the hubby in on a plane to Mumbai so this girl is ready to work, super model.
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