They don't make TV stars like this anymore!

How many of them can you name?

Sixties Sitcom Subtext Theatre

 "Listen Betty I don't care how much you love animals. I know I was Catwoman but doesn't mean I need you to save my pussy. It is doing just fine on its own. Go away why don't you. Move to Florida. Or move iin with Mitt Romney. That's a pussy you can save."

"And stop staring at my tits."

The first instance of social distancing on Florida beaches

"Hey Jeanie Tony is off on a mission and he told me to take care of you. So I have this big bottle of sun tan lotion to spread on you so you don't burn."
"Back off Captain Healy. I don't burn. I am a Genie. Why don't you go rub up on Emily your next door neighbor. I bet she will like that."
"That's the seventies Jeanie. You are getting ahead of yourself."
"Nobody is getting any head so fuck off why don't you!"

NASA takes photos of the Sun

We don't talk about NASA much these days. I remember when I was a kid we were all about the astronauts and the research that NASA was doing and going to the moon and stuff.

NASA has released photo's of the Suns surface that are really interesting. From the press release:

“These unprecedented pictures of the Sun are the closest we have ever obtained,” said Holly Gilbert, NASA project scientist for the mission at NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Maryland. “These amazing images will help scientists piece together the Sun’s atmospheric layers, which is important for understanding how it drives space weather near the Earth and throughout the solar system.”

“We didn’t expect such great results so early,” said Daniel Müller, ESA’s Solar Orbiter project scientist. “These images show that Solar Orbiter is off to an excellent start.”

They issued photo's of little "campfires" that are mini solar flares that must have a significant effect on the earth. It is all very interesting.

When I was a kid I wanted to be an astronaut. Not for the ticker tape parades. Not for finding new things. Not to go where no man had gone before. I wanted to be an astronaut for one reason and one reason only:

WKRLEM: The Tomahawk Trio playing at the Playbrave Club

The Sixties were so cool.

Even the 1860's.

"Corn silk, peace pipe, Snuff."

WKRLEM TV "It Is Ballooooooon!"

It is well know that all Indian Chiefs spoke with a Yiddish accent.

Except for Sal Mineo.

It is not balloon......

"Hey there Bat Freak I wanted to ask you a question."
"What's that Sergeant?"
"I heard your Bat Pole was pretty big. In fact it was the biggest pole on the lot. Now ever since Milton Berle retired I know that's not true. So I thought we might have a measuring contest."
"Sounds groovy. Let me just get rid of the rest of the crew. Meet me hear later. Same bat time. Same bat station."
"Agarn was right. You are a weirdo."

Marilyn's Diary

I loved living in Southern California even though I was not native to the sunny vales of the Golden State. You see I was born in the old country and was brought here as a child after the terrible accident where my parents were killed that involved the villagers with torches and pitch forks. My Aunt Lily and Grandpa came and rescued me and brought me to their home. I am eternally grateful because that is where I met my wonderful Uncle Herman.

I had to hide the fact that Uncle Herman had become my monster lover. I didn't want to hurt my Aunt Lilly who had been so kind to me. So periodically I would date other people to throw her off the scent. Now I couldn't do that with Eddie because he was a werewolf and they can smell out anything but he only liked to smell piss. Specifically female piss so if I left a pair of my piss stained panties around he would be busy wacking off for days. Still and all I had to bring in a parade of losers just to keep up appearances.

I dated Moondoggie which had the added benefit of pissing off that little whore Gidget. She got so mad she went off to become a nun. Then I went out with Tod Stiles who was pretty cool. He was always off with his friend traveling on Route Sixty Six. I tried to interest him in Route Sixty Nine but he never wanted to ago there so I guess he was a homo. I heard he became a cop. There were several other losers but the one I most remember was a hillbilly from Carolina with a woodie named Sixty Grit.

Whose that girl?

She was a star of one of my favorite sitcoms with a great theme song. You might not remember the words but I bet you can hum the melody. What you wanted to do to her was in the title.

Whose that girl?

Famous last words

"I really enjoyed having you on the show Julie."
"Well you would enjoy having me in real life even more Peter."
"Hamana-hamana-hamanaaaaa-gulp."
"Why are you turning so red?"
"Eh I don't know Julie.. I just know one thing."
"What's that baby?"
"These tits are to die for."
"Well lets hope not for a long long time."

Me love you long Bat time!

"That's right Merv. I cant have conventional sex because my vagina is about this big. They used to call it the Bat Cave when I was in High School. So I decided that I couldn't date in a conventional way. After all this the sixties. We are all trying unconventional things."
"I know I am having three way sex with Eva and a pig."
"Who Zsa Zsa?"
"No I don't have a death wish. Arnold."
"Wow that's groovy. What do you have to say for yourself Suzie Wong?"
"Me love you long time!"
"No you need to love me long Bat time!"
"We will  be right back after this word from our sponsors."

Lust in Space?

This is what Judy Robinson looked like in the original Lost in Space.

This is what Judy Robinson looks like in the new Netflicks production of Lost in Space.

Just another example of how political correctness ruins everything.

I have to strap it on.....

Matt Dillon: I'm sorry Kitty. But you knew it when you met me. I have to strap it on and go out in the street and meet my fate.
Miss Kitty: But Matt, I already strapped it on, don't you like it? Lets go back to the Long Branch. I will let you guess how I came up with that name.
Matt Dillon: Kitty you are the greatest. Hey do you have a guitar?
(Gunsmoke, 1968)

I said no Mr. Weinstein....no means no.

"I said no Mr. Weinstein. No means no."
"Look I didn't dress up like a lobster from Outer Space for nothing you dumb bitch. Come on honey we all know why you came to my hotel room. Crack my shell and eat out the meat like a good little ingénue."
"I don't know what made you think I would do that. I mean I don't keep kosher or anything but please. I am not that kind of girl."
"Look if you put a litte clarified butter on it and suck the meat out of the shell I can guarantee I can get you on TV.  There is this new show about two sluts living with a gay guy and a creepy landlord they based on me. I can guarantee you get a leading role."
"Well when you put it that way....let me see that claw sweetie."

A long, long time ago.....

I can still remember

How those babies used to make me smile.

And I knew if I had my chance

That I could make those puppies dance

And, maybe, I’d be happy for a while.

WKRLEM: Bachelor Number Two is a Serial Killer?

The 1970's? Was there ever anything like it?

Doesn't the guy who won give off gay serial killer vibes?

There was an actual serial killer on the Dating Game.

They should bring this show back.

WKRLEM: Creepy and Kooky?

Just about the best opening song for a comedy show is our favorite "The Adams Family." Almost everyone can sing it even young kids who know it from reruns. It is catchy and descriptive and just about perfect.

It is one of the two best of all time. You can guess the other.

WKRLEM: As free as the wind blows!

So I am in the shower listening to the "Peter Gunn Themes Song" channel on Pandora when an instrumental version of "Born Free" came on the Iphone. Waddayagonna do? Why sing it at the top of your lungs in your fake Andy Williams voice. That's what!

I loved the movie "Born Free." I had read the book when it came out in 1960. I was very excited when the movie came out and went to see it downtown when it came out in the movies. This was the beginning of the environmental phase that we all go through. I mean I am a conservationist, But a Teddy Roosevelt hunting conservationist not a green weenie type. This movie fit right in to that mindset. Along with the "Wonderful World of Disney" and the "Underseas World of Jacques Cousteau" it made us appreciate the animals in the wild and wish them well.

Who loves you......Willie?

It is always fun to watch classic TV and see how the world has changed. The clothes. The cars. The way people talk. The events in the news that they decide to rip off. It is hilarious.

I am continuing my Kojack binge and I got to episode 3 of Season 1. It is a convoluted rip off of the shooting of Joe Colombo at the Columbus Day Rally of the Italian American Civil Rights league. Of course they changed everything. They made it at a street fair. The Don being shot wore a vest and wasn't hurt. Instead of the Gallo's trying to kill Colombo to get his turf it was this own Mafia guy setting himself up to blame a rival. They only kept one element. A black guy shot the Mafia guy.

But that was not what was really fun. It was the language.

At the beginning of the episode Captain McNeil goes to Kojack "What do expect from these schvartzers." Hilarious. The Yiddish epithet for blacks like Moolie in Italian. He just comes out and says it on a prime time TV show. Funny shit.

Later they roust a bunch of black guys. One of them runs and Stravos grabs him and goes "Where you going Wille? Calm down Willie. Take it easy Willie." I laughed my ass off.

You see Willie is what the cops and the fireman of the 1960's and 1970's called black guys. Universally that is how they referred to them. Whenever we would be in a bar and the older guys would tell a story it was all Willie did this or Willie did that. I think it was sort of a back handed compliment to Willie Mays.

Man this episode took me back. Bell bottoms. Long Hair. Willie.

It is like a time machine.

Who loves you baby.....New York that is...!

We had a very tough day yesterday. We were out all day at a doctors office and it was like being in steerage in the Titanic. Then coming home a tractor tailer burst into flames and it took an hour and a half to get somewhere that should have taken fifteen minutes. What a shit storm.

We were both exhausted. We like to sit in the living room after dinner to wind down after the days activity to catch a couple of shows on Hulu. Without cable we tend to binge watch stuff. Recently we have been watching this Brit comedy/drama Atlantis that is pretty funny. But it only had two seasons so we didn't want to burn it off too quick. Luckily one of our favorites shows started a new season on Amazon Prime. Bosch.

This is the series based on the famous novels by Michael Connelly about Harry Bosch an LA detective. It revels in all the cliches. He's a rebel. Troubled. Listens to jazz. Fights with his bosses. All the usual bullshit you have seen a million times before. But it is really well done for the genre and I really recommend it.

So we start watching it and right off the bat the wife falls asleep because we were exhausted. Which means I have to shut if off. I can't keep watching it and have her miss it. This has happened before and it never works out well. So I turn it off and start flicking around. What do I find. Kojack.