Or a grifter gardener and there is nothing worse!
Saturday, July 31, 2021
Friday, July 30, 2021
Wednesday, July 28, 2021
Jason Whitlock is not buying it
Do youse guys know who Jason Whitlock is? He's a black sports commentor who specializes in going against the grain of what you expect him to say. He set himself up to cater to a white conservative audience and he really cashed in big time.
He has an interesting take on this gymnastic bullshit. He goes into it on his podcast as reported by Real Clear Politics. Whitlock said in part:
"I don't like what has been done to us and what we've allowed. I don't like the brainwashing. The lack of accountability. The lack of expectations for greatness," Whitlock said.
"She is on the biggest stage in the world," he said. She has the chance to represent the United States. She has the chance to represent black people. I quit. I'm not in the right headspace."
"She is on the biggest stage in the world," he said. She has the chance to represent the United States. She has the chance to represent black people. I quit. I'm not in the right headspace."
What do you think about that?
Where many men have gone before.......
"No Captain. It is an old species that has made a comeback here on Planet Claire. They call it a rare clumber."
"Really. Well that is impressive. We haven't heard about rare clumbers in a coons age so to speak. Say how old do you think Uhuru is? I might want to bang her after all."
"Old enough to not want your wrinkly old white man balls on her chin. Isn't he beautiful?"
"I guess so. What are you going to do with him? Bring him back on the Enterprise?"
"Of course. But first I am going to grease him up and see if he can fit into my dark places. If you know what I mean?"
"By order of the United Federation of Planets I am not able to comment on that. Get on the shuttle and close the door. I will be with you in a minute. I need to find a green alien whore to wash this out of my mouth, so to speak."
"Beam me off Scottie...I mean up...I mean oh shit I wish I was sliding across the hood of a police car instead of this shit."
Overheard at Lem's
Can Of Cheese for Hunter said...
but now we jump into 2 camps. Those who have compassion for her and those who do not.
It's not that people don't have any compassion for her, it's that we know how this is going to go once the Olympics is over. We're going to hear again and again how she's a victim and we're going to hear again and again how she's the Greatest Of All Time and how we're not worthy of her, etc., etc., etc. What bullshit! She choked; she doesn't need to be branded a failure forever, but she doesn't deserve a complete pass for her decision.
I wonder if all those people who want to wring their hands over Simone Biles would be as compassionate when their toilet is spewing sewage all over the place, but the plumber just can't come out today because he's not in the right headspace. Ya think?
I think that is exactly right. She choked. It happens. I have seen it hundreds of time in sports. Its understandable. The pressure is overwhelming. It doesn't say anything about your character. You can be the best person and the world and choke all time. You can be a complete scumbag and hit the shot to win the game every time. I remember Christian Laetner who was one of the biggest pieces of shit to ever play would always hit the shot to win the game. Reggie Miller too! Then you had great guys like Alan Houston or Hubert Davis who could never come through in the clutch. Choking is just part of competition. It's the champions who choke and then come back and win later that are the real pros.
I heard an interesting theory. Everyone is cutting her a break because she claims she was abused by that scumbag doctor who touched all of these other girls. It seems most of his depredations happened before she came on the scene. Even the doctors mother who denounced him thinks she was not involved as the time line doesn't fit. An investigative journalist was about to start asking questions about this and she just blew it all up. Now all anyone will talk about is how she quit. She is getting tons of sympathy and support and everything else is being washed away. So her claiming victim status will be cemented and she will not be questioned about anything at all basically.
These gym girls and the ice skaters follow a pattern. It is always a new girl who has never been in the Olympics who blows them all away and wins everything. They are just naïve and don't understand about the pressure and just perform and win without thinking. It is when they come back the next time and try to repeat it that they lose it. You see it time and again.
I never liked the Olympics because I don't consider it a real sport unless you can bet on it and the bookies never took action on it back in the day. So I don't follow it and would be happy if they stopped doing it. It has become so political and woke that it is best if it fades away. I hope this fiasco helps send it in the dumper and this all overblown circus just goes away forever.
Tuesday, July 27, 2021
Keep your eyes on the globes....err the ball....err whatever.
Hat's off....err....so to speak.
Lost shows....lost in the sixties.
I have been watching a lot of TV during these pandemic days. Not anything new. Everything on regular TV has turned to shit. Every criminal is a white supremacist. Every cop or clergyman is corrupt. Every couple on a commercial is either interracial or gay. You can't get away from the political correct wokeness. It has even begun to infect Hallmark of all places.
So I search out old shows. 12 O'clock High. The Naked City. Twilight Zone. Sixties sitcoms. Old time detective shows like Mannix. Ben Casey. Dr. Kildare. Of course all the Westerns. Other shows are on the pirate download streaming services or Youtube. But some of them you just can't find.
One of the them is the sixties comedy "Here Comes the Brides." It starred a bunch of sixties icons. The guy from Star Trek who played the head brother. Starsky or Hutch I forget which one. Bobby Sherman the Justin Bieber of his time. JOAN FUCKING BLONDELL FOR FUCKS SAKE! Flashing her octogenarian titties and fucking seaman or sucking semen or something like that there.
I can't find the series anywhere. It's not on the streaming services. Very few Youtube videos. Hard to come by.
There are other shows like that. Shows I enjoyed back in the day and can't find now. At least I have fun looking for them. It is time better spent then watching the shit that passes for entertainment these days.
I just wonder if those poor lumberjacks and spinster New England twats would understand how fucked up Seattle is these days.
Ah fuck it. I would rather just think about Joan Blondell's titties.
McKayla Maroney Saves The Day.....but that don't matter
th
Apparently she is a big deal and won a bunch of medals in the last Olympics and was the leader and inspiration to the team this year. Well it seems she quit and walked off and abandoned her team. She choked and was the reason the team lost the gold this year. I listened and read to a bunch of excuse making for her actions. They are a big bunch of bullshit. You have seen it before in sports. She lost her nerve. Like Arod did as a Yankee. Like Piazza did when Clemens beaned him. Like many a Giant quarterback did when they were sacked for the umpteenth time and were running for their life. You see it all the time in sports. The excuses are just lame and stupid.
I have been watching this series on IMBD TV which is a streaming service hooked up with Amazon. They have a bunch of series and movies that are not cutting edge but just good shows from a couple of years ago. The new stuff is on Netflicks and Hulu and Disney and other premium streaming services. When they lose their freshness they devolve to IMBD. The difference is commercials.
IMBD has commercials that are embed in the show. You can't fast forward. So you have to endure the commercials and there is an added problem. They play the same two or three commercials every time. You start to despise them and you will refuse to ever consider buying their products.
One of the most ubiquitous is the one for Geico with the gymnast McKayla Maroney getting a Frisbee off the roof. I don't know jack shit about gymnastics since I think it is a pretty stupid sport and like ice skating is for women and sword swallowers. I guess McKayla is big deal or was a big deal or something. But even my dim skull has adsorbed that there is another young girl who is the big star at the Olympics this time around.
Apparently she is a big deal and won a bunch of medals in the last Olympics and was the leader and inspiration to the team this year. Well it seems she quit and walked off and abandoned her team. She choked and was the reason the team lost the gold this year. I listened and read to a bunch of excuse making for her actions. They are a big bunch of bullshit. You have seen it before in sports. She lost her nerve. Like Arod did as a Yankee. Like Piazza did when Clemens beaned him. Like many a Giant quarterback did when they were sacked for the umpteenth time and were running for their life. You see it all the time in sports. The excuses are just lame and stupid.
I bet they make her a hero. I can see it now. She will be bigger by choking and quitting than by digging deep and persevering. That's how America works these days.
It's sick out there and getting sicker.
Saturday, July 24, 2021
Friday, July 23, 2021
WKRLEM: It ain't me and it ain't you either.
I was listening to this song in the shower today and I thought about all the guys who went to Afghanistan over the last eighteen years. Who came back wounded and maimed and damaged in some way. And for what? Nothing that I can see.
Yeah, yeah I know that Fogerty is a big time leftist commie cocksucker but he ain't wrong in this case. Working class kids from Brooklyn and North Carolina and Alabama and Wyoming went to serve their country at the behest of the elites. Elite Republican Neocons in this case. They didn't change anything. The same Taliban assholes are taking over as soon as we leave. The endless war would continue. War criminals like Liz Cheney want it to continue. Idiots like Lindsey Graham can always find another place to send our guys to die.
Fogerty based his song on David Eisenhower who was married to Julie Nixon and served in the Navy during Vietnam. But the perfect example of a Senator's son is Hunter Biden. He got a sinecure in the armed forces in some misbegotten attempt to help in a later political career and was cashiered for doing crack. Then went on to collect bribes for the "Big Guy." His current scam of selling "art" to donors is just bald faced thievery and corruption that is being covered up by the media. Once again the elite protect their own.
This was the essence of President Trumps appeal. Yeah he was a draft dodger. Yeah he didn't serve. But he didn't want our guys fighting in an endless war for nothing. He tried to end it and bring the boys home but he was defeated by the Deep State and the Neocons who impeached him twice and stole the election.
We need to eliminate the elites and their influence on public policy. I don't know how you do that in a peaceful way. Their grip on power is too strong. They need to realize that more and more people are getting the message and are willing to support fundamental change.
We can't run our country for the benefit of the Senator's Son.
Thursday, July 22, 2021
Now you sleep tight little Hossaroni
"Yeah Hoss."
"Try not to piss the bed again."
Wednesday, July 21, 2021
WKRLEM: I mean what's not to love
It looks like it is shaping up to be a particularly fucked up season. Highly recommended for your amusement.
Sauce for the goose
I know that none of youse guys watch Below Deck Mediterranean but I enjoy it a lot. I love the setting of a yacht and the stupid rich people who inhabit it. Usually they are drunken fools and there are various shenanigans among the crew as they hook up and bicker while working 16 hour days. This season is particularly crazy.
One of the interesting things about this season is you can get the next week's episode in advance for some reason. So I caught it On Demand and it was flat out crazy.
They are in Croatia during the Covid crisis so they are kind of limited in what they can do. Therefore they are limited to socializing with each other. Traditionally after a charter they all go out to eat and usually get roaring drunk. Usually hilarity ensues. This time not so much.
One of the stews is a girl named Lexi Wilson. She is a statuesque beauty who was a pageant Queen. I think she was Miss Bahamas or something. So she already thinks her shit don't stink and that she is above everybody when in fact she is just a maid. Not that there is anything wrong with that but she is constantly putting everyone down and telling them how much better she is then they are. Even her boss! It all came to head in the hot tub.
After a night of drinking and arguing they are all in the Hot Tub drinking from the neck of expensive champagne bottles and talking shit. One of the nerdy deck guys gets a phone call and is not paying attention. This Lexi chick starts yelling at him and calling him a pussy. Even the other slut bags told her she was going too far. She gets up and grabs him physically and presses his face to her ginormous tits. The guy is very embarrassed and upset and gets up and leaves the tub. Now he is a joker but he doesn't make it sexual. He might even be gay but for sure he is super nerdy. She had no right to sexually touch him. If a guy did that they would be fired immediately. Since it was a woman nothing is going to happen. I wish the guy would make a federal case out of it and call HR. Let them have a taste of their own medicine. Last season they cut a guy out of every episode because of some tweets. Here this bitch physically assaults' someone. It wasn't innocent or fun. It was mean and nasty. I wonder what is going to happen. I bet nothing. I just think in the Me Too era it is very very interesting.
I can't wait for next week to see what happens.
Oh the chef quit too and broke some cameras on the way out the door. It was a shit show. Very entertaining.
Tuesday, July 20, 2021
Wait a minute Hossaroni....This is Chicago
"Hold on Hossaroni give up your double eagles or I'm gonna shoot your fat white ass."
"Wait a minute Rufus this is the Ponderosa not Chicago. Why are you doing this?"
"Reoperations fat man. Hand it over or you are gonna die."
"I thought this was a very special episode about racial tolerance and all like that there."
"That's next week. This week we are dealing with reality."
"Reality sucks."
Monday, July 19, 2021
Sunday, July 18, 2021
The DIrty Dozen
Slow Joe Biden and his Communist government has an enemies list. Unlike Nixon the press is not upset. In fact they are happy and trumpet the list on TV and in the papers. They list twelve people who are being banned on Facebook for spreading "misinformation" on the Kung Flu. That airhead bitch press secretary called for them to be banned across all social media platforms. As if they were non persons or enemies of the people or some other commie shit. You could call these 12 mooks the Dirty Dozen.
When I read the article the author said the only name he recognized was Robert Kennedy Jr who is a big anti-vaccine guy which is no surprise. But when I looked at the list much to my surprise I recognized two other names of people I am very familiar with and talk about every day.
Dr Mercola was the first name on the list. He is the vitamin guy that my mother-in-law buys all of her vitamins and protein powder and stuff from QVC. You can’t be more all American than that. When I told her he was gonna be banned she had a shit fit. I told her she was going to have to go to street dealers to get her vitamins. “Hey a fit loosie Vitamin D over here. I got dime bags og Co-Q-10.” She is losing it.
Mecola’a wife is also on the list. She has a company that sells organic make up that the wife buys from all the time. In fact they are email buddies as they used a blurb from her on the website. She is being disappeared because she has a lot of questions about the safety of these vaccines.
I fully support them because I remember when Sixty, Nick and yours truly where members of the Dirty Dozen who were banned from Althouse. It’s bullshit when they ban you when you have different view point than the mainstream conventional wisdom. I know how that feels.
I always thought I was Franco in our Dirty Dozen. Sixty was Posey the simple county boy. Nick? Well I know he likes Lemons and would get killed in the first two minutes so Trini Lopez all the way.
Thursday, July 15, 2021
To pee or not to pee....that is the question
I take three water pills every day so I have to piss all the time. It can get very annoying as you are always looking for a bathroom. You can't just have Paulie Gatto pull the side of the expressway to let loose all the time.
It is the worst at the beach. The bathroom is like miles away man. You got to walk so far you forget why you are doing it until the piss runs down your leg. So you have to go in the ocean. But that sucks because sometimes the water is cold and you are washing off your sunscreen and it just makes everything sucky. So I wait until we come back from the beach before I take my pills. Which makes me get up all night to pee.
If it's not one thing it's another.
At least I don't have Ramona Singer's problem. Ramona of the Real Housewives of New York is facing a shitty situation. It seems she took a dump on the floor of her bathroom on the last class trip. Or at least some poop fell on the floor. This is not the first time with her since she had done the same thing last season. Of course her friend Sonja gleefully laughed about it and they showed it on camera. It was pretty humiliating for Ramona. She must have a problem.
And she can't go in the ocean to shit.
It's Shark Week!
Some people don't get the memo. This dude Marcelo Rocha Santos was drunk on the beach and he had to pee. So like most of us he walked into the ocean. He and his buddy were standing in waist deep water when a shark came up and started eating him. It got his hand and some of his leg before his buddy and the lifeguard could beat the shark off. This happened in Brazil in an area where they have a lot of shark attacks. It was murky water and the guy was all greasy and salty and the shark wanted a treat. You would think the poor sap would realize it was Shark Week.
Tuesday, July 13, 2021
I need another cup to face the day
I always start the day with a couple of cups of coffee. Not lattes. Not half foam Americana's. Just plain joe. Black. In a big cup.
We often argued when we were first married about coffee and how to make it. I had a old fashioned Faberware percolator that I had for about twenty years. It had a plug and you had to take the guts out to clean. It didn't have paper filters or any of that bullshit. Just hot strong coffee. It was the best coffee pot I ever had.
It finally gave up the ghost and we proceeded to buy a new one. Unfortunately it was a disaster. You see China had bought the company and everything was being produced over there. Which means it works for about a year and then the heating element goes. So for the past six years or so we would buy a new one and throw out the old one. It was a disaster.
Finally someone gave us a brand new Mister Coffee. I hadn't had one since the seventies. I hate the coffee it makes. But I had to use it because I was tired of the complaints of the weak coffee a dying Faberware pot would make. I have to make sure I have the fucking filters and all that shit. The only solace I have is that I use high octane coffee and make it incredibly strong. I used to hate Mr. Coffee because that is what we always had in the accounting offices I used to work in. They would always make bland insipid coffee and it was like drinking dishwater. I guess I just have to get over it and take it like you have to do with so many things as you age and lose agency over your life.
I was introduced to coffee by my grandma when I was six years old. When I would go over her house she would give me a shot of espresso before I went around the corner to Sacred Hearts grammar school. So I am used to really strong black coffee since I was a kid.
I hate Star Bucks and all of those fancy bullshit coffees. I would always get my coffee and buttered roll from the little aluminon carts that the have in front of subway stops and the LIRR. It was always hot and strong. I would always make friends with the guys running the carts giving a cheery hello and a good word as I am happy in the mornings. In the last couple of decades these guys always seem to be Muslims. In fact I vividly remember one of them asking me what train I took to get to the Flatbush Avenue stop on the LIRR. I told him the G train and he said that was good. It was around 1997 or 98 and later that month a couple of mooks got arrested for planning to bomb the Flatbush Avenue station of the IRT. See it always pays off to be nice even if you don't mean it.
So excuse me while I fire up the pot. I need some more caffeine to get through the day.
Monday, July 12, 2021
Saturday, July 10, 2021
Thursday, July 8, 2021
Under DeBlasio NYC has become a shit show
This is what these animals do when you don’t keep your boot on their neck.
Wednesday, July 7, 2021
There are no standards left in our military
Did you see the latest surrender on the part of our military under the senile kid toucher Joe Biden? It's seems that the naval academy has a semi talented cornerback named Cameron Kinley who was signed by the Tampa Bay Bucs. Not talented enough to be drafted he begged the military to be able to defer his service commitment so he could try out for the team. Noted cuck Senator Little Marco Rubio started a ruckus to get the Navy to allow him to break the commitment he made when he signed up for the Academy. At first the Navy refused but the noted racists Secretary of Defense Austin approved it. So he will try out and not report to his ship.
Now it was ok for Roger Staubach and David Robinson to serve before they went into their leagues. Both of whom were far better athletes than this mook. Along with the teaching of critical race theory and the embrace of transgenderism in the ranks this is another canary in the coal mine. When China attacks we will be helpless. Have no doubt China is going to attack. Sooner rather than later.
It is sick out there and it is getting sicker.
Our military and our police forces will not protect us.
Tuesday, July 6, 2021
The Broken Scarlet Sky
I walked into Henry Cimoli's health club down in the waterfront. It was full of gleaming chrome and complicated exercise machines populated by people in color coordinated work out gear. Henry was supervising a frizzy haired woman in a too tight leopard leotard along with one of the dead eyed trainers he employed to cater to his new clientele.
"You doing great Izzy. Just one more rep." "It's too hard." 'Now I know you can do it. I can already see the improvement. Anyone can see the definition in your arms. Just one more." She pushed up the bar as she huffed and puffed like a horse on the last leg of a mile and quarter at Churchill Downs. She slowly pushed it up half way. There wasn't any weight on the bar at all so it didn't make a clang after she let go and it dropped down. More like a tinkle than a clang. "It's too hard." "Good job. Allison is going to take you to the next machine."
Henry strolled over to me looking like Hercules who had been left in the dryer too long and had shrunk down ten sizes. He was all muscle and a yard tall.
"Spenser." "Henry. I bet you never heard that before." "What's that?" "It's too hard. I don't think you ever had that problem." "Funny guy. No wonder you have a mug like Carlton Fisk's old mitt. Everybody just wants to wail on it. Waddaya want?" "Is Hawk around?" "Yeah he is where he always is when he comes in. The boxing room."
Henry used to be a trainer. In fact he had trained me for a while. When he went upscale and threw out most of the mugs from the old days he kept a room for old times sake. A heavy bag. A speed bag. A couple of mats and a jump rope. When I walked in Hawk was working the heavy bag. His bald head was covered in a sheen as he put combinations and shook the bag from side to side. He hit it for a solid two minutes until a timer dinged and he stopped. He looked over at me.
"Hey whitey. What are you doing," "Racial invective. So woke of you. I wanted to talk to you for a moment when you get a chance." "Ok last round."
Hawk reset the timer and started to wail away on the bag. Two of the young trainers walked by and sneaked a glance at Hawk. They were young nubile hotties in skin tight leotards that Henry hired for the financial types who came in to pretend to exercise. Hawk smiled to himself as he finished with a three punch combination that made the bag sway like it was hit by a train. The timer dinged and he stopped and took off the training gloves.
Hawk took a towel and wiped his face and then his sweat soaked head which was a bald as a egg. Or as bald as a strippers snatch if you want to use a more appropriate metaphor. He was a large man who moved like a cat. You often came across a big guy. Or a fast guy. But you seldom come across a big fast guy. That is what made Hawk dangerous. Well one of the things that made him dangerous. There were a whole lot of them.
"So what's up?" "Nothing much. Say are you still dating that professor at MIT?" "Who Stacey? Well I wouldn't exactly call it dating. More like fucking. Occasionally. Why?" "I need to ask her a few guest ions. Can you set it up?" "What do I get out of it?" "My eternal gratitude." "That ain't enough. I don't work cheap." "Dinner at the Ritz?" "Fair enough. I will call her. Bring Susan. I don't think she would appreciate it if you were the only one to show up." "I was planning too so don't worry about it." "I will let you know." "Thanks."
I turned to leave and Hawk went on to the speed bag. He made it sing. Now I just needed to get his girlfriend to do the same and give me an idea about what goes on at MIT. It was a start.
Sleep cycles
I recently started using an app on my iPhone called Sleep Cycle.
It's an alarm clock; it's supposed to wake you at the optimum part of your sleep cycle. When you set a conventional alarm clock for 5:30, it's going to wake you at 5:30, and you could be half-awake, deep in REM, or somewhere in between. It's the app developers' theory that if you're forcibly awakened during the wrong part of this cycle, it makes you feel like crap for the rest of the morning.
So you set the alarm on the app and lay the phone down on the bed with you. Using its accelerometer, the iPhone detects and records your movements (you don't roll over during REM) and it charts your sleep level from this. If you set the time for 5:30, it will wake you any time between 5 and 5:30, when it thinks you're at the optimum sleep level to wake.
When you wake up, it rates the quality of your sleep. What I've found is: During week days, my sleep is horrible -- the rating is something like 45%. On weekends, it's better -- something like 85%.
My question for commenters: Does this stuff work, or is it new-age argle-bargle? It seems to help for me, but it could be placebo effect.
And: Does anyone else use this app? What's your sleep quality rating?
It's an alarm clock; it's supposed to wake you at the optimum part of your sleep cycle. When you set a conventional alarm clock for 5:30, it's going to wake you at 5:30, and you could be half-awake, deep in REM, or somewhere in between. It's the app developers' theory that if you're forcibly awakened during the wrong part of this cycle, it makes you feel like crap for the rest of the morning.
So you set the alarm on the app and lay the phone down on the bed with you. Using its accelerometer, the iPhone detects and records your movements (you don't roll over during REM) and it charts your sleep level from this. If you set the time for 5:30, it will wake you any time between 5 and 5:30, when it thinks you're at the optimum sleep level to wake.
When you wake up, it rates the quality of your sleep. What I've found is: During week days, my sleep is horrible -- the rating is something like 45%. On weekends, it's better -- something like 85%.
My question for commenters: Does this stuff work, or is it new-age argle-bargle? It seems to help for me, but it could be placebo effect.
And: Does anyone else use this app? What's your sleep quality rating?
WKRLEM: The best adaptation of a fictional detective ever!
Here we learn about the 21 foot rule from one of the Crowes.
That is a good man with a knife can kill a man with a holstered gun before he shoots if he is within 21 feet.
Somehow it never works out for the Crowes.
It's not so bad
It is not an easy task to write good crime fiction or then translate it to TV. You need to have a basis in character but not over do it. We are familiar enough with the characters to short hand it and this series seems to be a direct call back to all of the prior seasons. That's why so many old characters are called back and make brief appearances.
I have to say this is the second best portrayal of a fictional detective in history. The first of course being Raylan Givens in Justified. They got the tone right. A little too stoic. Relying on the sad jazz music a little too much. But Connolly does the same thing in his books so we have nothing to complain about.
In fact there is little to complain about in the Bosch season. If only episodic TV could be half as good. I mean they could do it. They would just have to adapt the works of some of the great crime novelists that are working today. The wealth of detail that is available to adapt will negate the fact that most TV writers are worthless hacks.
I know that the series is going to continue on IMBD at a lower level of production. I think that means that they will get rid of some of the more expensive actors like J Edgar and the Lieutenant. The word is that they will focus on the books where Bosch is off the cops and working private with an emphasis on Bosch, his daughter and Honey the lawyer. It will be very interesting to see what they come up with.
I did enjoy the season.
Monday, July 5, 2021
WLEM FM
Overheard at Lem's:
Can Of Cheese for Hunter said...
It is an old song. it's raunchy - but tame, with today's debased standards.
They are remaking Sex in the City
In this episode Sara Jessica Parker gets married to the guy from Fantasy Island. Which is very interesting because he is dead.
They must use CGI or something like that there.
The Case of the Holiday Horror
My dear Holmes,
It is your most humble petitioner, Inspector Lestrade. As you well know it has been many years since I have last requested your assistance in the troubling matter of the disappearance of Lord Douchebag and also quite some time since we examined the obscene affairs of the odious Lady Chatterley and her grass stained lover. Today I must ask for assistance with respect to these horrible people.
As you know we often review old case files in an attempt to discern if circumstances have changed or new information has come to light. It seems that things have changed in the loathsome prescient of that disreputable slattern Lady Chatterley and her brutish consort.
As you must be aware they had ceased holding the salon for which they had so unjustly been renowned. They seem to have thrown out the obsequious lickspittles and unctuous toadies that made up their circle. It seems once they were left to their own devices they have turned the violence they once did to civilized discourse upon each other. All of which seems to have come to a head when the last cask of fetid wine had been broken and there was nothing for the swinish lady of the house to consume. In fact if you can credit it the wine was purveyed in a box in stead of good English Oak! She thus turned her wrath upon her unfortunate consort who left to find solace in any way he could. As you know this scene is often reenacted on Holidays when they are left to their own putrid company. This is not the first time this unfortunate occurrence has become part of the police blotter.
It seems that the unfortunate knave who serves as body servant, gardener and barber to the surly harridan decided to flee and eventually wandered into a tavern along the way and fell into conflict with the happy patrons who were well unaware of his existence. He began a contrempt's with a jolly fat man who was regaling the tap room with witticisms and a stoic carpenter who was instructing the room about various insect infestations when the beaten down body servant came in to cause a most unnecessary conflict. Luckily he was tossed outside by the tavern occupants and conspired to wander aimlessly about looking for solace in his life of abject misery.
There is naught for either of us to do but I thought you might like to be informed of the status of these nefarious people as you wished to hear about the flea infestation of the Hound of the Baskervilles and the cheese addiction of the Giant Rat of Sumatra. In any event I thought it best to keep you apprised of the latest doings in good time.
Please give my best to your brother Mycroft who I hope is enjoying his retirement from the Foreign Office. I know he misses both the Foreign Office and the Foreign Orifices he came in contact with during his time in government. I trust he knows that a quiet life in retirement is the best outcome considering his last exploits when last in London. None the less please give him my regards.
I remain as always,
Your obedient servant,
Inspector G. Lestrade
November 12, 1898
Your obedient servant,
Inspector G. Lestrade
November 12, 1898
Sunday, July 4, 2021
These assholes are lucky that I don’t want to give up my amateur status
A fry of ours is a cheerleader for the Brooklyn Cyclones wher they are having the contest.
She is one of the girls standing behind the contestants counting how many dogs they ate. They call themselves the “Bunnettes!”
Happy Birthday Boss…..True Yankee fans really miss you
If the Boss had been alive the Yankees would never have allowed that Black Lives Matter bullshit at their games.
Friday, July 2, 2021
John D MacDonald was way ahead of his time
The same thing happened with the recent condo collapse in Miami. One of my favorite authors of the seventies was John D. MacDonald. I always ran out and got every one of his Travis McGee novels as soon as it came out. He is one of my heroes and models in writing crime fiction and I have read just about everything he has ever written as I have done with Elmore Leonard, Robert B. Parker and Lawrence Block. One of his non McGee books also became a best seller. It was called "Condominium" and was about the collapse of a condo in Florida. Albeit it was during a hurricane, still the shoddy workmanship and the criminal malfeasance seems to have predicted what happened in Miami. I remember when it came out and all of the builders in Florida swore up and down that they complied with all the codes and what not. There was a minor scandal here and there but it all went back to normal. I wonder if they examine the structure and what went on if they will find what I think they will find.
Once again life follows art.
Comments... I get comments
Ann Althouse said...John Mosby writes:
Hi Prof. I just loved your post reviewing and informing us of your sons picks for the best 100 love songs that can be repurposed for homos. He has such talent. Sort of a combination of Hunter Biden's morals and Chelsea Clinton's looks. As usual that was a superb post.
As a aside can I ask you to send me a gallon of your urine so that I can make iced tea on a hot summer night. I feel that will bring you closer to your commenting community.
Ann Althouse said...Temujin writes:
It is not so much that your son is brilliant it is that your vagina was so unbelievable fertile and exceptional to bring forth such a marvel. It is a shame that you have not used it again. I understand the problem but I would think you could entice your gardener to find one of those little blue pills.
As you know I took as my non de plume the sobriquet of the leader of the Mongol hordes but always know to me you will always be my "Hun."
Ann Althouse said...Dave Begley writes:
I don't understand why you didn't avail yourself of my invitation to visit me during the college world series. As I told you I have bunk beds set up in my Mom's basement and one of them is unoccupied. I know you would have a great time if you would just travel just a little. I promise not to wear shorts or serve egg salad. In fact I have a furry rabbit costume that I would wear the whole time and some bologna and cheese sandwiches that are not too moldy.
Please let me know when you are on the road. ( ok, ok you can bring the gardener but he has to sleep outside in the shed)
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