Sir:
As the Ghost of a Gentleman, dead these 265 Years, I have always at my spectral Heart the Publick Good, so I am ever contriving Schemes to promote it; and I think I may without Vanity pretend to have contrived some as wise as any Castle-builder. I may tell you, Sir, my ghostly Head hath lately been full of draining Fens and Marshes, when I suddenly left off such Notions and struck upon an entirely different Scheme for the Encrease of your Nation.
’Tis often said that the Poor of a Country (which in this Modern Age, I account as nearly Three Fifths of the People) pay little or none by way of Taxes; yet, when the Matter is examined closely, ’twill be seen that such Persons are not exempt from such Excises and Customs as are attendant upon Consumption of the ordinary Necessities of Life, additional to such Luxuries as are often grudg’d them by Persons of Property. The Poor frequently are maintain’d at Publick Charge; yet, this Money partly is return’d to the Sovereign’s Coffers by way of said Excises & Customs. The Poor may work only as much as necessary to support a miserable Existence; but, I reckon that, taken as a Whole, the Country gains with every one of its new Inhabitants, as there should be innumerable Taxes paid to the Publick from even such small Employments as commonly occupy the Poor.
When I was got into this Way of thinking, I presently grew conceited of the Argument, and was just preparing to write a Letter of Advice (in my Ghostly Way) to a Member of your Congress, for opening the Freedom of your Towns and Trades, for taking away all manner of Distinctions between the Natives and Foreigners, for repealing all Laws of Settlement, and removing every other Obstacle to the Increase of the People. But as soon as I had recollected with what inimitable Eloquence my Fellow-Labourers had exaggerated the Mischiefs of selling the Birth-right of Americans for a Dollar, of spoiling American Blood with Foreign Mixtures, of introducing a Confusion of Languages and Religions, and of letting in Strangers to eat the Bread out of the Mouths of your own People, I became so humble as to let my Project fall to the Ground, and leave your Country to encrease by the ordinary Way of Generation.
With every Well-Wish for the Encrease of this, your Pubick Meeting-Room (as I call it),
I am, Sir,
Your Humble & Obt. Servant,
Sir Archy