Marilyn's Diary

 

I loved my Uncle Herman and he loved me. Every night he would sneak up to my room and we would have wild nasty monster sex. Well almost every night.

You see he still loved my Aunt Lily, and she was a beautiful woman. In fact, she was a succubus who are famous in legend and myth as being irresistible to men. So when she turned on her charm Uncle Herman would often succumb. 

The thing was they had been married for about 450 years and Aunt Lily had sort of used up all of her tricks. They had done everything you can do sexually. Maybe three or four times by then. So even though she could get him interested she still needed to spice things up.

One night she found the answer. She had met this slim and elegant woman at the PTA meeting where she had to go explain why Cousin Eddie had so many pee-stained panties in his locker at school. They got to talking and it turned out she had a problem child too. Her daughter was very weird. Dressed in black all the time and spent her time torturing cats. They talked about getting the two of them together so they could get weird. Somehow it just never worked out though.

What did work out is that they became friends. Aunt Lily invited her over for dinner and Uncle Herman was immediately smitten. She was creepy and she was kooky and altogether spooky but they still had a lot of chemistry. They all ended up in bed together and went at like monkeys on Viagra. It lasted for a couple of weeks until they called a halt to it. You see her husband Gomez got wind of it and he was hot head so they decided to cool it. You see he was a spic and they carry knives so he would cut a bitch.

Uncle Herman came back to me. He always did.

I love my Uncle Herman.

Marilyn's Diary

 

I would sit on the stairs and wait for my Uncle Herman to come home from work. Uncle Herman had a lot of jobs. He had been a baseball player, played in a band, worked construction and at Disneyland. He only worked there for a short time. He really didn't like it. He started at the Frontier Land where he sold coonskin caps. Then he worked at the Its A Small World After All but he was just too big. Then he was at the Wonder Wheel where he got fired. You see there was a height requirement and you had to be three feet tall to ride. But they lost the yardstick, so Uncle Herman decided to measure the little tykes with his dick. Unfortunately, that didn't work so he lost that job.

For the rest of his life Uncle Herman always hated Disneyland. The trashed all the rides. There was only one ride he liked, and he rode it every night.

Me.

Marilyn’s Diary

My Aunt Lily was very sad when my Uncle Herman left us to run away with Carol Herman. She couldn't understand why he would give up on their marriage when they had been happy for 257 years. But the heart wants what it wants.

I couldn't understand why he would leave my firm young nubile teenage body. But he did. For a senile old bat who was obsessed with some guy named Ricky Branch. 

Aunt Lily went a little crazy for a while. Wild parties. Sex. Drugs. Rock and Roll. But finally she got very depressed. She would just sit in her rocking chair with her cat. Rocking back and forth. Petting her pussy.

There are worst ways to live.

We still missed my Uncle Herman.

Marilyn's Diary

 I could never understand why my Uncle Herman got tired of banging my Aunt Lily. I mean she was a very sexy woman even thought she was 650 years old. Now I know he loved my young and nubile body but he should have had enough spunk to throw one to Aunt Lily now and again.

She got increasingly frustrated as he began to ignore her. She would dress provocatviely and act all sex kitten like when she made him his dinner. He was oblivious to it all. He did keep sneaking up to my room and sticking into my tight virgin pussy so he got off but it didn't do anything for Aunt Lily.

When Uncle Herman up and left us for that whore Carol Herman it was a shock to all of us. No one more so than to  Aunt Lily. She went off the deep end. Her sexuality came to the fore. She didn't care anymore. Eddie was grown up enough and had his own concerns. She wasn't worried about me. So she indulged herself and as a succubus she could get pretty indulgent.

She would host orgies with that New York ad man and his French Canadian wife. Charlie would bring all the girls. That Squeaky was a stone freak. Aunt Lily would lounge around all day in her sexy underwear masturbating openly in front of everyone. It got to be a little much. I have to admit I was not immune to her charms. 

Every once in a while I would have a little munch.

Of carpet.

Marilyn's Diary

 

When my Uncle left us to go move in with Carol Herman I didn't know what to do with myself.  I missed him coming into my room every night and making hot monster love to me. My Aunt Lily was distraught. She moved from lover to lover. Started to hang out with a bad crowd. Dennis Wilson and his friend Charlie. That whole crew from the ranch.

Grandpa got into a fight with his friend Sandy so he stopped coming over for sleepovers. My pervert Cousin Eddie started staying away for days at a time. Peeping in windows and stealing soiled underwear.

I didn't know what to do with myself.

I started hanging out at Sea World. I always liked to be wet. There I met a young man from Wisconsin who was into scuba diving and learning from Lloyd Bridges. I let him explore my depths. So to speak. It was fun and all but not the same.

I still missed my Uncle Herman.

Marilyn's Diary

 

Everyone in my family loved to read. We didn't own a television in those days so we had to find our own amusements instead of sitting in front of the boob tube all the time. So we would read. Sometimes one of us would read to the family. Usually fiction but every once in a while we would enjoy some non-fiction like "Frankenstein"  or "Dracula." In fact Grandpa knew Count Dracula from the old days back in the Old Country. He said the Bela Lugosi version was the best. He really captured Vlad. He was a snot.

We really valued books and reading. So when some jerks in the John Birch Society decided to burn some books Grandpa and Uncle Herman went down to set them straight. Grandpa sliced a couple of them up by biting them. Some of them on the neck. Some of them on other parts. Uncle Herman lumbered around and scared the shit out of them. They stopped that book burning in it's tracks. Because that's how it started. First book burning. Then the next thing you know they start going after the Jews. We couldn't stand by when that went on. First they come for the Jews. The next thing you know they will come for the vampires.

When they came home we were all overjoyed. They were our heroes. Of course they didn't have anything to do. We didn't have the boob tube.

So I let Uncle Herman stare at my boobs.

Then he would lick and suck them.

I loved my Uncle Herman.

 

I knew there was a reasonable explantion!

When I was a kid my dad had to work extra jobs to support us. One of them was in Brownsville deep in the heart of Jungleland. We would take the GG train to the Flushing Avenue stop. When you got outside it was like you were in postwar Germany or something. Like Dresden without the schnitzel.  We had to walk about three blocks to Broadway to a furniture store where this old Jewish guy would rip off the moolies by making them buy stereos on lay away. My dad did the accounting. Anyhoo the only reason we were able to go there was because Pfizer had a plant there. You see they put the chemical plant in a bad neighborhood because what the fuck were they going to do about. Oh the smell. Man it was the worst thing I ever smelled times ten. Think Elizabeth New Jersey. Rotten eggs. Hillary's twat. It would make you gag as you walked. The only thing is they had armed guards with German Shepard's patrolling the perimeter. They would often walk us to the store. They were good guys. But the smell!

Now these guys are making to covid vaccine.

Hard pasadena on that one boys.

Marilyn's Diary

 I really never got along with my cousin Eddie. He was a lot younger than me and we had different interests. I loved music and dancing and I admit I was boy crazy. Eddie was pee crazy.

You see Eddie was a werewolf. Now they get off on their sense of smell. They were always sniffing around and the stronger the scent the better. It got to be very embarrassing when he was smelling peoples butts in elevators while we were doing our Christmas shopping at Woolworths.

Eddie was obssessed with the smell of urine. He would wander all over the neighborhood peeping in windows. Not to see women naked. Only to see them pee.

This led to him getting arrested all the time. He was a junvile so he didn't get a record. But it was getting close to the time he would be put in kiddie jail. So we had to come up with a solution.

It was Grandpa that did it. He always liked to putter around in his workshop. It reminded him of the old days when he used to hang out with his friend Viictor the Doctor. He decided to come up with a contraption that would help Eddie.

You see it was a urine robot. It had a complicated task. It would seek out urine soaked clothing and steal it by stuffing into it's giant cylindrical head. There was one problem. It just didn't work.

So little Eddie had to back to stealing soiled panties out of the hampers of all the locals. Until he got arrested for the last time and had to go to juvie.

Eddie was a pervert. 

Marilyn's Diary

 In the sixties we were all very worried about the Russians attacking us and dying in a nuclear war. We were constantly doing drills to prepare for the Big One. Putting our heads down on the school desk and covering up. Getting under our school desks and doing the duck and cover. Praticing by going down to the bomb shelter during our nuclear bombing drills.

Uncle Herman was very serious about it. He would set off an alarm and we would have to drop whatever we were doing and run down to the air raid shelter in the basement of the Munster Mansion. Uncle Herman would be there with his helmet. He loved his Helmet.

Of course I loved his little German Helmet. You see even though he was sewn together with about 1000 separate pieces he was uncut. Where it counted.And he was always getting me ready to take the Big One.  

I love my Uncle Herman

Marilyn's Diary

I always admired my Aunt Lily. She was my role model. I mean she was 645 years old and didn't look a day over 345. She was always sexy and kept up her look. Of course that was until Uncle Herman left us to run off with Carole Herman.

Then Aunt Lily hit a rough patch. She drank a lot. Did a lot of drugs. Didn't eat all that much. Hung out with the Crazy guy Charlie and his girlfriends that lived out at the Ranch. She really got into the music scene. I mean she was hanging around with Mike Love and some of the Beach Boys. She once let Grace Slick do acid off of her tits. She had sex with both a Mama and Papa. She was all over the scene.

The one big benefit was she lost a lot of weight. She didn't eat much as a succubus got nourishment from the souls of the innocent. You never found any of them in Hollywood. So she really got thin. Everyone thought she was on coke but it was really from not feeding on virgin souls.
That's why she would occasionally take a toad trip to the small towns around California. To meet some of the locals. The way she dressed brought them all around.

That's why I do the  same thing now. Only at autograph shows. Those geeks have never touched a woman.

They are almost as big a bunch of virgins as at Star Wars convention.

I never had that problem. You see Uncle Herman took my cherry and we made hot dirty incestuous monster love every night.

I loved my Uncle Herman.

Marilyn's Diary

My Aunt Lily couldn't understand why Uncle Herman didn't want to bang her anymore. They had been having hot monster sex for over five hundred years. But lately he had not been interested anymore.

She tried everything. Wearing hot costumes and rubbing his privates under the table.Thrusting her huge titties in his face all the time. At dinner. Breakfast. When he was on the toilet. It just wasn't working.

You see Uncle Herman was getting plenty of poon tang. From me.

He would sneak up to my room and rub my nubile teenage body with his tongue. All night long.

I loved my Uncle Herman.

Marilyn's diary

My Uncle Herman was way ahead of his time. He was the first person I knew who did drugs. Who even liked to give himself a heart attack and have me give him an adrenaline shot to get his heart moving. Who organized orgies. What really surprised me was that he was sexually fluid.

You see he a detachable penis. He was made up of over 1000 separate parts. Sometimes he would take off his penis and put it in my bedside table. He would dress up like a girl and rub his mangina. When he felt like that we would have wild lesbian sex. It was incredible.

He would rub my kitty into a pulp. And that was not fiction.

I loved my Uncle Herman. Even when he was my Aunt.

Marilyn's Diary

After Uncle Herman left us I was adrift. I couldn't stay with my Aunt Lily because she had her own troubles. She was doing a lot of drugs with her weird friends Charley and Squeaky and Tex. It was a crazy scene. I had quit college and needed to get a job. Once again Aunt Lily came through.

She reached out to one of her succubus friends. They had a network you know. They passed knowledge of where to go to suck the essence out of innocents. Most of the time they went to Republican party gatherings. The Democrats always gave them gas.

Anywho one of her friends actually worked in Hollywood. She needed a new personal assistant. I interviewed and she hired me on the spot. I think it was because of my new bra. I was in charge of getting her scripts and making coffee and maintained her schedule. There was only one problem.

She was very handsy. You see she wanted sex all of the time. Her husband Alllan was gay and she couldn't get off. So she was always touching me and rubbing me and asking me what was the Password. Like if I knew it she would stop tweaking my nipples. So I had to quit.

If anyone was going to have nonstop sex with me while pulling on my nipples it would be my Uncle Herman.

I loved my Uncle Herman.

Marilyn's Diary

We were always very health conscious in the Munster family.  Aunt Lily made us eat right and was ahead of her time in her use of herbal homeopathic remedies. She cooked all of our dinners and we were all fit as a fiddle. Even Uncle Herman which was an impressive feat since he was made of over 1,545 different people that the Doctor back in the old country used to create him. Some of them must have been sickly after all since they were dead when he took the parts. Still and all we were remarkably healthy.

Aunt Lily was a good if eclectic cook. She made the normal fair. Macaroni and frog.  Spaghetti and newt sauce.  Every thing was fine until one day she made something that got us all sick. You see she made Chinese bat soup.

We all got sick. Eddie started coughing and wheezing. He sounded just like he did when he whacked off when he stole some of my pee stained panties. Aunt Lily and Uncle Herman changed color. Normally they were green but they turned pink. It was a little terrifying.

The worst of course was Grandpa. You see he was the most at risk, He was the oldest considering he was over three thousand years old. And he had a underlying condition. You see he was a vampire so when he sucked out blood he would get all kinds of esoteric blood diseases. He was the first person to discover sickle cell anemia because he liked him some brown sugar. So he was really affected.

Eventually we all got better. As usual these things are wildly overstated. I mean it wasn't the plague or berri berri or anything like that there. It did effect Grandpa the most I guess because it got him interested in medicine. He got a part time job as a technician with this doctor named Marcus Welby.  He was famous for hiring odd people. He had the first wetback nurse and his partner was a retard who was so dumb he ended up marrying Barbara Striesnd.

So Grandpa started working for him. Of course he was up to his old tricks. He wrote some numbers on his dick and told the patients that it was a thermometer. Some of these Hollywood people were so dumb that he believed it. Grandpa really loved to take their temperature.

You see he always did it anally.

Grandpa was a scamp.

Marilyn's Diary

Uncle Herman and Aunt Lily were always trying to reach my little Cousin Eddie. He was a problem child. You see he wasn't interested in things that normal kids liked. He wasn't even interested in things monster's kids liked. He only wanted to peek in windows to see women pee and steal their soiled underwear. I think it was a werewolf thing. You see their sense of smell was their main sensual outlet. So he would rob laundry baskets and whack off his tiny lupine peter all night long.

There was however one exception. Eddie loved music. It was the sixties and the California music scene was hopping. There was the Beach Boys. The Jefferson Airplane. The Greatfull Dead. A black guy named Jimi with a big package. And a lot more. This gave my Aunt Lily an idea.

She decided to start a family musical group like the Cowsils or the Von Trapps or something. I should never have taken her to see the Sound of Music. Uncle Herman and Grandpa reluctantly went along and they tried to write up some songs and get a few gigs at various graveyards in Southern California.They were even approached by an agent. He told us he could even get us a TV show like the Monkees. Unfortunately it was between us and another family led by a slutty blond who was banging her step son. I think she blew into the agent's trombone and they got the gig. Aunt Lily was really disappointed and didn't go back to her music until she met her friend Charlie who had all those weird girls like Leslie and Squeaky hanging around his ranch. Grandpa went back to blowing his own horn or something like that there. And Uncle Herman went back to what he loved best.

Strumming my firm teenage nipples.

I loved my Uncle Herman.

Marilyn's Diary

We never went to restaurants as a family very much. It was difficult. You see Grandpa was a vampire and Uncle Herman was a seven foot tall monster with bolts in his neck. So we kind of caused a commotion if we went out and we didn't like to cause any commotion or draw attention to ourselves. That never worked out well as my parents proved in that unfortunate episode with the townsfolk with the torches and pitchforks back in the old country.

The only exception was the once a year that Grandpa and Uncle Herman with go out with their banker. You see he was the one who gave us the mortgage on the Munster Mansion and the car loan so we could buy the Munstermobile. The only problem with them was that they were swingers. Now at this time Aunt Lily wasn't into that and they had to come up with something. So Uncle Herman would satisfy the wife and Grandpa would take the husband aside and suck his neck. Or something.

Anyhoo they were always upset when they came home. As soon as they came home Uncle Herman would grab me and take me to my room and start to prove why he was considered a cunning linguist.

You see the only time he like to eat out was when he was eating me out.

What can I say. I loved my Uncle Herman.

Marilyn's Diary

In the Munster family I was the one who was artistic. As opposed to Cousin Eddie who was autistic. At least that was the excuse we used to use when he was arrested for peeping in windows or stealing ladies panties off of clotheslines. Eddie was a little pervert.

I had a problem in college. Well I had a couple of problems because Uncle Herman would ream me out when we made love and I had to walk bowlegged most of the time. I told every one I had a horse. It was not that much of a lie. I was riding a horsecock every night.

My main problem was I didn't know what to major in because you have to remember it was in the Sixties. Women basically had the choice to be teachers or to get knocked up and marry some guy from the frat next door. I never wanted to teach so I decided to study art for a while.

I liked to paint. Mostly watercolors. Mainly because Uncle Herman loved water sports. My true vocation was in sculpture. I wasn't much for hammer and chisel. I loved to work in clay. I would often sculpt members of the family. Of course my favorite was my beloved Uncle Herman.

I would love to stick my fingers in the malleable clay and shape his bust. Almost as much as he liked to thrust his fingers in my young firm nubile malleable bust and squeeze and shape them every night. Of course that was not my favorite thing. My favorite was the plaster casting.

You see I had this friend Cynthia and her thing was to make a plaster cast of rock stars dicks. She did all the big time guys. Jimi Hendrix. Van Morrison. He was Irish so it was tiny so we saved a lot on plaster. Jim Morrison. Mick Jagger. I was able to help get started by introducing her to the Beach Boys. Aunt Lily was great friends with Dennis Wilson who was also buddies with Aunt Lily/s good friend Charlie. We were able to sneak into a jam session and Cynthia was able to cast a bunch of them. Dennis. Mike Love. Even Brian which was surprising because he was catatonic at the time. Still it was harmless fun. None of them held a candle to my Uncle Herman.

I still take the cast to bed with me every night. You can understand why.

Marilyn's Diary

I had a hard time after the family broke up when Aunt Lily and Uncle Herman got divorced. Uncle Herman moved to NYC to join a band with his friends the Indian, the Construction Worker and Cop. Grandpa moved to NYC too and got a job as the bouncer at the Stonewall Inn. Which was strange because he was kind of old but he had a strange way about him that sucked people in. So to speak.

Now Aunt Lily continued to live at 1313 Mockingbird Lane. Even after Eddie moved away to run for Senator in Massachusetts. She kept having wild sex parties with all of her weird Hollywood friends. Even the trouble that her friends Squeaky and Patricia and Leslie Van Houten got into didn't phase her. I just knew I had to move out before she dragged me down.

Marilyn's Diary

I loved living in Southern California even though I was not native to the sunny vales of the Golden State. You see I was born in the old country and was brought here as a child after the terrible accident where my parents were killed that involved the villagers with torches and pitch forks. My Aunt Lily and Grandpa came and rescued me and brought me to their home. I am eternally grateful because that is where I met my wonderful Uncle Herman.

I had to hide the fact that Uncle Herman had become my monster lover. I didn't want to hurt my Aunt Lilly who had been so kind to me. So periodically I would date other people to throw her off the scent. Now I couldn't do that with Eddie because he was a werewolf and they can smell out anything but he only liked to smell piss. Specifically female piss so if I left a pair of my piss stained panties around he would be busy wacking off for days. Still and all I had to bring in a parade of losers just to keep up appearances.

I dated Moondoggie which had the added benefit of pissing off that little whore Gidget. She got so mad she went off to become a nun. Then I went out with Tod Stiles who was pretty cool. He was always off with his friend traveling on Route Sixty Six. I tried to interest him in Route Sixty Nine but he never wanted to ago there so I guess he was a homo. I heard he became a cop. There were several other losers but the one I most remember was a hillbilly from Carolina with a woodie named Sixty Grit.

Marilyn's Diary

I was always interested in art when I lived with my Aunt Lily and Uncle Herman. Painting. Music. Sculpture. I remember when Uncle Herman let me make a bust of his head. He didn't want to do it but I reminded him of how much he liked to play with my bust and he agreed.

Even Aunt Lily and Grandpa thought it was pretty good. Of course this wasn't the best sculpture I made of Uncle Herman. You see a took a plaster cast of his penis. It took twenty pounds of plaster but it sure was worth it. 

It became a hobby for me. I used to go and make plaster casters of the dicks of famous rock musicians that used to hang around with my Aunt Lily. Dennis Wilson. Mick Jagger. Jim Morrison. Jimi Hendricks. Peter Tork. All the greats.

I still have some of them that I didn't sell on Ebay. I would never sell the one of Uncle Herman. Sometimes I sit around looking at it. Sometimes I look around while I am sitting on it. I just love to take it out when I am missing my Uncle Herman.

I love my Uncle Herman.