Hop Sing hurt bad Mr Hossaroni

 

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Have you been following the move of the Knockout game to the West Coast.

It seems that this is an epidemic of assaults on elderly Asians. Two 80 year old men were assaulted and one of them died. They didn't give a description of the assailants but we all know who it was.

Of course the media blamed it on White Supremacist who were mad because of the Kung Flu.

It sick out there Hossaroni and it's getting sicker.

Hop Sing sick Mr. Hossaroni

"Me very sick Mr. Hossaroni."
"Whats wrong Hop Sing?"
"Oh I eat bat soup. Very bad for Hop Sing even though it make my noodle very hard. Now I have Kung flu."
"Is it catching Hop Sing?"
"Yes it very catching. You need to shut down Ponderosa. Close all business in Virginia City. All of Neveda. Other wise some people get sick."
"Some people. How many Hop Sing?"
"I don't know Mr. Hossaroni. Why take chance?"
"Why you want us to close down the state on the chance that some people might get the flu?"
"Yes Mr. Hossaroni."
"You are one dumb chink if you think we are going to do that. Just sit there and try to get better. I will bring you some soup."
"Just not bat soup."
"Okay Hop Sing. I get special Won Ton Soup for you."

Why I have a present for you.....

"I have a present for you. The monopoly man on a glass case. It symbolizes the monopoly China will have on the supply chain once we help the Democrats defeat Trump."
"Thank you baby. But are you going to give it up?"
"Oh yes Barry I love you long time. Plus I give you another present."
"What's that sweetie?"
"The Kung Flu. It is a virus but not the bad one."
"Really the flu? That doesn't sound good. What are the symptoms?"
"Well your nipples get hard and you voice gets very high."
"Sounds good baby. I am pretty healthy. I am just staying alive. Let's go."

It can't be that big Mr. Hossaroni!

"I don't feel so good Hop Sing ever since you gave me that Bat Soup."

"It be good for you Mr. Hossaroni. Make your egg roll get big like Elephant."

"It's already big enough Hop Sing."

"How big Mr. Hossaroni?"

"This big Hop Sing."

"Oh you big trouble Mr. Hossaroni. You have more Bat Soup it take care of the problem."

Where this all got started....I knew back in 1968

"Bat Soup Hossaroni!"




It was always in the cards. We just never knew.

OH NO GODZILLA IS COMING!!!!!!!

"Oh no Mr Burr Godzilla is coming and he has the Chinky Flu"
"WHAT? Fuck that shit. I survived AIDS and spent ten years in a wheelchair and I be damned if I let the Hop Sing Crud get me. Get the fuck out of my way I am flying back to Key West."
"So sorry Mr. Burr but Godzilla is Japanese not Chinese."
"Iceberg Goldberg I don't give a shit. Get me a ticket to get the fuck out out of here you sushi sucking slant."
"So sorry Mr Trump say no airplanes from infected areas. You shit out of ruck whitey."
"Thank God I am dead already so this doesn't make any sense."

Hop sing refuses to choke chicken

"Hey Hop Sing can you touch my bird."
"Hop Sing no touch white mans bird Mr. Hoss. Only if you want cook."
"Well this is not the bird you cook Hop Sing. It is a chicken I got it from my friend rh hardin. You know John Wesly's cousin. He said this chicken if very talented. It knows fellatio. I think that is a foreign language or something."
"Well it does involve his throat big brother but I don't think it is a language."
"Hop Sing does not understand."
"Yeah I know. What else is new."

Le Grande Orange......is being squeezed

Friends ask for prayers for Mets icon Rusty Staub New York Post  by Mike Puma 

 PORT ST. LUCIE — Friends of Rusty Staub were requesting prayers for the Mets icon on Friday, as he battles kidney failure in a West Palm Beach hospital. Modal Trigger Staub in 1984AP

The 73-year-old Staub, a popular player in two stints with the Mets, has not been responding to dialysis, according to a friend. Staub usually attends the New York Baseball Writers’ dinner each January, but was absent from the event this year because of health. Staub suffered a heart attack in October 2015 on a flight home from Ireland and was revived by two doctors on board. The plane returned to Ireland, where Staub was hospitalized before he was transported home.

Staub played 23 seasons in the major leagues and is most remembered by Mets fans for his role on the 1973 NL pennant-winning team.

(I always disliked Rusty Staub. I thought he was the perfect embodiment of the Mets. Big Mouth. Overrated. Gay.

I met him a couple of times at his rib joint in Midtown. It was in a hole in the wall off of Fifth Avenue in a very narrow space. It was right next to a record store as I recall. Some big deal like Tower or J&R or something. I forget which one it was. It seems like it was a long time ago.

I remember when I was in there one lunchtime with this Chinese friend of mine. Rusty comes over and starts to hit on him. I had to laugh My other buddy who was there was a big time Mets fan and I always busted his balls about the Mets. I got a lot of mileage out of that one.

After lunch we went to the record store. There was this manager who was a cute blond who the Chinese guy had a crush on. But he was afraid to up to talk to her. He was fresh out of college and naive as fuck. So I go up to her on the sly and go "You should go question that guy" as I pointed to my friend. "He has a CD in his pants." He turned purple. "She goes Do you really have a CD in your pants?" I go "Yeah. A Chinese dick. Slow play." She started laughing her ass off. You see she was a bar babe I had met the night before  in the Quiet Man and she was in on the joke. I almost gave Hop Sing a heart attack. Good times.

Still I wish him well. I am astounded he lasted this long. I mean he navigated the AIDS crisis without missing a beat.

Anyhoo I wish him the best and I hope he beats this.

WKRLEM Hop Sing on culture

Sometimes you just want it to be about you.