“Below Deck Down Under” is the best one of the franchise

 I am addicted to the "Below Deck" shows on Bravo. You know the format, right? Some rich douche rents a super Yacht to sail for a couple of days with a crew of drunks, morons and sexual predators. It's sort of a Gilligan's Island for retards. Each week the guests gets worse and worse with their demands for specialty parties and weird menu items. The crew fight and fuck and mess everything up.

It's a meataphor for life!

Now there is the original recipe Below Deck, Below Deck Mediterranean and Below Deck Sailing Yacht. However, the newest one "Below Deck Down Under" is far and away the best one so far.

Set in Australia the photography is just superb. Especially the underwater shots as all they do is go scuba diving and snorkeling. I mean there are no great castles like in the Med which does has some great shots of Croatia or the beauty of Spain that you see on Sailing Yacht. 

The best part of the show is the crew. You have the best Captain of them all on this show. The dude is hands on and is not afraid to get his hands dirty. He is always jumping in and helping. Plus he will bust the balls of his crew in a good natured way. He was hazing this one hapless deckhand but when the guys toilet overflowed and he woke him up at 3 in the morning to quit he got up and helped him clean up the shit. The dude is awesome.

The stews are just alright. The foul mouthed Aussie slut who had been on Med previously is the chief stew and she really doesn't know what she is doing. She wants to be their friend and that doesn't work. I mean the relationship between the girls isn't toxic which is unusual for these shows because she has one problem child. This polish model type is the third stew. Her grasp of English is not that good and she doesn't know how to make most drinks or be able to carry stuff with out dropping them. She was a yoga instructor on her last ship so she was really hired for scenery purposes and to fuck up on camera. Which she does.

Still she does brighten up the scenery.

The show is on the Peacock network which I did not buy. I get it on the Cinema App which allows you to stream just about everything for free. Check if out if you can. If you are going to watch a Below Deck Franchise this is the one to see.

WKRLEM: I mean what's not to love

It looks like it is shaping up to be a particularly fucked up season. Highly recommended for your amusement. 

Sauce for the goose

 

I know that none of youse guys watch Below Deck Mediterranean but I enjoy it a lot. I love the setting of a yacht and the stupid rich people who inhabit it. Usually they are drunken fools and there are various shenanigans among the crew as they hook up and bicker while working 16 hour days. This season is particularly crazy.

One of the interesting things about this season is you can get the next week's episode in advance for some reason. So I caught it On Demand and it was flat out crazy.

They are in Croatia during the Covid crisis so they are kind of limited in what they can do. Therefore they are limited to socializing with each other. Traditionally after a charter they all go out to eat and usually get roaring drunk. Usually hilarity ensues. This time not so much.

One of the stews is a girl named Lexi Wilson. She is a statuesque beauty who was a pageant Queen. I think she was Miss Bahamas or something. So she already thinks her shit don't stink and that she is above everybody when in fact she is just a maid. Not that there is anything wrong with that but she is constantly putting everyone down and telling them how much better she is then they are. Even her boss! It all came to head in the hot tub.

After a night of drinking and arguing they are all in the Hot Tub drinking from the neck of expensive champagne bottles and talking shit. One of the nerdy deck guys gets a phone call and is not paying attention. This Lexi chick starts yelling at him and calling him a pussy. Even the other slut bags told her she was going too far. She gets up and grabs him physically and presses his face to her ginormous tits. The guy is very embarrassed and upset and gets up and leaves the tub. Now he is a joker but he doesn't make it sexual. He might even be gay but for sure he is super nerdy. She had no right to sexually touch him. If a guy did that they would be fired immediately. Since it was a woman nothing is going to happen. I wish the guy would make a federal case out of it and call HR. Let them have a taste of their own medicine. Last season they cut a guy out of every episode because of some tweets. Here this bitch physically assaults' someone. It wasn't innocent or fun. It was mean and nasty. I wonder what is going to happen. I bet nothing. I just think in the Me Too era it is very very interesting. 

I can't wait for next week to see what happens.

Oh the chef quit too and broke some cameras on the way out the door. It was a shit show. Very entertaining.

You got to stop complaining about cooking gluten free dude!

I am really enjoying the new reality show called "Below Deck Sailing Yacht" that just started on Bravo. It has all the familiar shenanigans of a reality show plus sailing! You know. Work conflicts. Messy hook ups. Nasty guests. Big tips. A shit storm of the first mark.

Unlike the original yachting shows where they are on motor yachts these mooks actually have to know how to sail. Now it looks like only the Captain and the engineer have a clue how to do it but it is still fascinating to me. Add in the beautiful scenery of the Greek Islands and I am hooked.

The part of the show that really intrigues me is the Chef having to cook for a bunch of pains in the ass who all have special requirements. I do that shit every day. I have to cook gluten free for the wife and extremely bland for the mother-in-law. When you do vegan or gluten free you want to put in a lot of flavor. Spices are gluten free and can help to make a dish tasty when you are not adding a bunch of butter or cheese or salt. Oh did I mention that I am not supposed to have a lot of butter, cheese and salt because of my bum ticker. Still and all I find a way.