Showing posts with label Bob Newhart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bob Newhart. Show all posts

Friday, August 19, 2016

Watch out for that gluten....it's a killer.



Elliot Carlin: I think I'm overcoming my agoraphobia. 
Dr. Robert 'Bob' Hartley: I didn't even know you had a fear of open places. 
Elliot Carlin: Open places? 
Dr. Robert 'Bob' Hartley: Agoraphobia is a fear of open places. 
Elliot Carlin: I thought it was a fear of agricultural products. 
Dr. Robert 'Bob' Hartley: Sorry. 
Elliot Carlin: Well, anyway, wheat doesn't scare me anymore. I'm still a little skittish around barley. 
Dr. Robert 'Bob' Hartley: Yeah, barley's murder compared to wheat. 

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Bob and Emily

"So Bob why were you late again tonight?"
"We had a big problem with the group. People are fighting. Mr. Peterson and Jerry the Dentist started fighting and rolling around on the floor. Mr. Karlin was bitching that everyone hated his toupee and that a Mexican took his job. And Carol started to cry and kept eating and puking like a crazy person. It was a shit storm."
"Really Bob. Whatever. Let's go in the bedroom and fuck before our stupid neighbor comes in and starts telling lies about he used to be astronaut."