Pretend to be Christians or Grooming instructions are not just for NFL cheerleaders anymore*

"ISIS urges UK jihadis to cut beards, shun mosques & wear crosses"

The booklet, called Safety and Security Guidelines for Lone Wolf Mujahideen, offers a chilling insight into the levels of preparation expected of those wishing to cause carnage in Europe.

It urges home-grown terrorists to carry out attacks as they are less likely to be noticed.

It also explains how nightclubs, full of loud music and drunk people, are the perfect place to discuss terror plans without being recorded or snooped on.

The main thrust of the instruction booklet is the necessity to blend in with the western way of life and to avoid ‘looking like a Muslim’ so as to stay below the radar of the security services.

The introduction says: “No doubt that today, at the era of the lone wolves, brothers in the West need to know some important things about safety in order to ensure success in their operations.

“We thought a lot of non-Arabic speaking brothers would find it interesting and may apply it in their blessed operations.”

“As you know, Christians - or even atheist Westerners with Christian background - wear crosses on their necklaces.

“But don’t wear a cross necklace if you have a Muslim name on your passport, as that may look strange.

It says: “Your beard should be shaved off at least two weeks before your travel so the skin under your beard can be exposed to the sun.

"If you don’t do that the fact that you removed your beard would be too easy to notice.

“If you can get a haircut in a professional hairdresser, try to do so.”

The campaign by successive U.S. administrations since 9/11/2001, to appear gregarious and non judgmental, downright near outlawing profiling, seems to be completely lost on the jihadis.

Is this another messaging failure?

* The NFL's Naked Greed

Phil

I call him Phil because he and I, we're tight, like that:

Apologies for posting so much but this guy is bugging me because his face is all over the place and his beard is skank. 

I would like to tell Phill,

With great beards come great responsibility you cannot allow them go wild like this, and just because the prophets looked like that and you sound like a prophet when you get on a roll in a church as we've been shown, and use the amusing excuse the cousin of Jesus, what's his name, you pause for the answer, John, went around in a hair shirt, all that  does not mean you must be the same way. John ate locust, will you too? John had his head chopped off will you follow that example? No, that was then and this is now. And we have products now. 

The hair is flyaway and scraggly. I would assure Phil women do not like it. Dry. Hands always in it. Fiddling with it. Digging around. One expect insects or animals, bats to come flapping out, debris to drop out. It apparently itches because it is scratched constantly. The color transitions look like drips. Rust. The drippy dead hair color transitions of pubic-like scraggly hair resemble an old dog's mouth when the drippy hair color transitions are not resembling an old sheepdog's ass. I'm trying to say what I see.

I'm not big on products but a beard like this needs conditioning. Lots of conditioning. The kind that sits in the beard over time and changes the texture, restores moisture without being oily. And the gentleman must persist with this lavish beard treatment regimen forever. And trimming the tips off and keeping them trimmed and shaping will make the whole beard appear much fuller and healthier more masculine, more together, more with it, worn by a man with more gravitas more worth listening to. A little moisture, a little trim, a little wave and he'd take on the appearance ancient royalty, a groomed Nebuchadnezzar, instead of a crackpot. I'm tired of seeing his face actually. Apologies for showing it, but here are the before/after examples.