The plight of homeless Hollywood celebrities has long been a scandal. Everyone from Natalie Cole turning tricks for crack to Joanie Cunningham selling herself for Meth have been swept under the rug in todays celebrity culture. You never see this on TMZ or Entertainment Tonight.
Perhaps the worst cases of all are to be found in Cartoon town. There is usually no going back for a Cartoon Character who loses his show. They are all of them one trick ponies. Especially My Little Pony. Once you lose your show it doesn't matter how many Japanese school girls wear your underwear. In case after case these toons have fallen on hard times. Top Cat has to live in garbage cans instead of just eating out of them. Penelope Pittstop walked the streets on Hollywood Boulevard to pay for her heroin addiction. Magilla Gorilla had to marry a Kardashian. Still none of them had fallen as far as Mickey Mouse's pal Goofy.
Goofy had led a charmed life. As Mickey's best friend he got to travel and live large on Disney's dime. It all came to an end and Goofy was cast out on the street. He became homeless and lived out of a shopping cart performing sex acts for dog biscuit money. You see his fall came about because of sex. Everything went away after that faithful day when Mickey discovered that his fiancé Minnie had gone insane. You see she was fucking Goofy. (The Cracks in Magic Kingdom, The E True Hollywood Story of Mickey Mouse)
I heard somewhere, Twitter, some hole-in-the-wall run down backwater biker bar, there is a contest of some sort to caption this photo, but you now what? After reading all the fawning vapid celebrity-worship comments to the photo, one after another, here and there, the original posting and the twitterer who posed the challenge, I cannot think of anything amusing. And who would waste their time with such an absurd challenge anyway? Gawl. Don't these people have anything better to do?
I am against such idle captioning activities. Down with this sort of thing. The original is a particularly egregious photograph, look at it again to see for yourself it is taken at that precise angle that makes the president's ear look idiotic as if a malevolent puppet maker formed a carelessly cut leather cone and crammed into the side of the puppet's head for a cartoon character's ear that doesn't hear anything. And that's just mean. So I fixed that with Leo DiCaprio's face. That worked out rather nicely, don't you think?
But the whole time I was thinking, oh man, that guy has a Nikon. I bet it's a flagship full-frame. A camera that cannot take a bad picture. And now I'm back to being jealous of other people's cameras and the crap photos they manage with them. The cameraman for this photo did catch a precious moment by being ready, kudos, one that the president's shallow adorers can wet themselves over but he also caught his mockable monkey ear that remind all the rest of us we're living a parody of a satire.
Like this:
These are among the funniest scenes in the Princess Bride, actual satire. The actor depicts an official officially officiating while affecting a mockable debilitating speech impediment. That the man rose to high office of bishop or whatever is what makes it so funny. So absurd. The scenes are nothing without it. It implies corruption because you ask how the character got there. I noticed they've done this with Barry Kripke's character on the television show The Big Bang Theory. It's funny imagining the character delivering an important speech.
But that is comedy and this is life as we live it replete with it comic moments and even among people doing important things. It is humanizing. Imagine for a moment Bush II goofing around like this, as we cool guys do, but as president, and a photo like this is taken in such a way that shows Bush II's close resemblance to Alfred E. Newman to perfection, and the flash of white pain that stabs the spine of each of his detractors when they see it. The original photo, goofing around, goofy ears, the imagined photo goofing around goofy face. I tend to become disgusted when I think neither side deserves this doubling down on goofiness, I'l mention, not fair to everyone in between these two parties, unaffiliated, even all those people too uninterested to vote still do not deserve choices so open to parody. That is the satire of limited choice offered by two parties, the corruption of two controlling parties. There are much better people available in the United States than what these two parties offer. We can do much better than this. We deserve better than this, and one way or another we shall have it.
