Hell needs a new PA Announcer.

Forcas: Will you be interviewing any new announcers my dread Lord. It has been a while.

Lucifer: Yeah we might as well. I am tired of doing it all. I am the Devil for crying out loud. I should be sitting around getting a blow job from an intern. Or golfing or something. You know what all the big shot demons from Hell do when they are in charge. Let's get someone else in here to make the announcements. Who do we have in the last bus?
Forcas: Well we have several people that will be coming in. We have a beloved diminutive rock star.  

Lucifer: Holy shit. That drunken loser Billy Joel is here? That’s great. He has to know he has to pay off on that deal that got a garden troll banging Christie Brinkley.

Forcas: No Sire it is not the Piano Man. He is still busy touring the music he wrote before 1985. We have the bi-sexual formerly known as Prince.
Lucifer: Oh that Purple Pansy. Who cares? Who else you got?
Forcas: We have Gwen Ifill the PBS anchor and one of your most loyal worshipers.

Lucifer: That loser. I hate ass kissers. What am I Trump? I want someone with a little juice and that bitch is as far away from juicy as you can get. Who else is on the bus?

Hell Needs a New PA Announcer

(Lucifer strides into Hell in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt smoking a cigar and scratching his balls. He does that a lot. That's why they call him old scratch) 
Lucifer: How the hell are you Forcas? Ah who am I kidding I don't give a shit. I'm back from vacation so let's get to work. 
Forcas: Vacation? I thought you were sick my Dread Lord. You seem to have lost a lot of weight.

Lucifer: Well I was sick. Shingles is no fun. I had to stay home in my burning pit argue with little Nicky on the Internet. But I am better now. That Emuaid cream really works. So what’s happening?

Forcas: Well we have a few new people in the pipeline. First there is a perverted Wrestler.

Lucifer: What Denny Hastert is here? Cool he’s a dick but I can use him to run one of the fire pits. It’s just like the house.

Forcas: No actually it is not a dick. It is a chick with a dick Chyna the sort of lady wrestler.

Lucifer: Oh I don’t care about her. Send her over to Andre the Giant and let him sit on her face. Next.