The Summer of Boo Boo

 

Papa Bear was pretty upset. You see he voted for Donald Trump twice. He was tired of all of the illegal immigrants that were flooding Jellystone. So when Clueless Joe Biden stole the election he was very pissed off. He hated these immigrants.

 I mean the black bears were bad enough. They were all on welfare or just stealing stuff. Every time a ranger shot a bear for attacking campers they would riot and loot the Severn Eleven and the CVS. Then we had to deal with the Brown bears that had snuck over the border to take the jobs that us all American Silverback grizzlies used to do. Papa was a proud Silverback and he just hated the wetbacks. Then it got worse.

The Oriental bears started moving in. 

A bunch of them washed up ashore from the Lake on a ferry called the Golden Venture. 250 Chinese bears came ashore. They weren't even like the few oriental bears we had before. They at least stayed to themselves running the laundry or the take out garbage dump. These new bears demanded that we take care of them. They said they were smarter than American bears and wanted all the slots at the bear school. They wouldn't speak English. But that wasn't the worst of it. You see the brought disease with them.

One of them gave Sister Bear a virus. And we were all scared. 

It was the Summer of the Ling Ling Flu.

(Stan and Jan Berenstain "Son of Boo Boo", The E True Hollywood Story of the Berenstain Bears)

The Summer of Boo Boo

 

We were always wary of the campers in the summer time. I mean they were a bunch of weirdoes and all. Who comes to the woods to live in a tent when you can go to the beach and sip Mai Tais? Still and all there were repeat visitors who had to come to upstate New York to go camping because they were too poor to go to the Hamptons or the Jersey Shore. At least there weren't a lot of Jews because they were all in the Catskills with Mrs. Masiel.  Mostly there were Italians and Irish and a few Pollacks.

In particular there was this one Italian family that were very scary. The father was a craggy faced sour puss who liked to lecture everyone. The mother was half a retard because all she did was waltz around all over the place like she was an Australian or something.

The worst were the two sons. One was a real dummy who pretended he was Roger Grimsby or something since he was always trying to interview you. Maybe somebody should take him fishing and not bring him back.  It was the older one who was very creepy. He kept bothering sister bear. He would tell her how big his hands were and asked if she would date ten year olds. 

Then he started touching her. On her bear skin so to speak. He was a creepy rapist

I always wondered what happened to him, I heard he went into politics.

(Stan and Jan Berenstain "Son of Boo Boo", The E True Hollywood Story of the Berenstain Bears)