Trooper York's Word of the Day

 

ostentatious

[ˌästənˈtāSHəs]

ADJECTIVE

1. characterized by vulgar or pretentious display; designed to impress or attract notice.

   "books that people buy and display ostentatiously but never actually finish".
2. Conspicuous consumption - "she is so ostentatious that she would go on a boat with Robert Wagner and not be afraid that she would not float.

WLEM TV

 Overheard at Lem's: 

MamaM said...Maybe that's because I go back to the era when asking if the carpet matched the drapes was the clever thing to do.

Only her hairdresser knows for sure!

Egads Moneypenny what now?

 

"What a beautiful pearl necklace Moneypenny!"

"Why thank you Commander Bond."

"You look particularly ravishing and dewy fresh today."

"My goodness you are full of compliments today."

"No more that what you deserve my dear Moneypenny. Perhaps I can help you with your regime as well since I am indeed full today."

"Whatever do mean kind sir."

"Come over here with me to the couch and I will give you a real pearl necklace."

"Ooooooooohhhhhhh JJJJJJaaaammmmmeeeeesssssss!!!!!!!"

Whatever do you mean Miss Moneypenny

 

"I see this photo on your desk Moneypenny. You were quite the little minx in your youth weren't you?"

"Oh I had my fun Commander Bond. I worked at the Army Department during the war."

"Who is the young man, you're boyfriend?"

"Oh no just a young man that I gave a VD card to as he was cleared of all disease. I hear he later went into politics. I bet he wouldn't want this photo to get out."

"I would think not. What a terrible disease. Thank God I have never had the misfortune."

"Well it isn't all bad. It made you think. In fact this young man said it was very important in his political philosophy. In fact it gave rise to one his main planks in his political platform."

"Really what was that?"

"Why the Trickle down effect....for obvious reasons."

"Quite."

Whatever do you mean Miss Moneypenny

 

"Whatever do you mean Miss Moneypenny?"
"Well Commander Bond I said that this vast expanse of a desk is going to waste. Waste not want my old gaffer used to say."
"What ever would I want to do on this vast expanse Miss Moneypenny?"
"I could climb up on it and you could explore a much tighter space much more to your taste."
"Tighter Moneypenny? I think not."
"Unfortunately my old gaffer used to say that too."

Egad's you're back Moneypenny!

 

"Why once again you're back Moneypenny! After such a long absence. And I am glad to see it!"
"Yes I imagine you are Commander Bond. But there is one thing that you would like even more."
"And what would that be my dear?"
"Why my front of course!"
"Indeed Miss Moneypenny, indeed."

KLEM FM

Man that whole album takes me back. My dad bought that soundtrack album for the cover art. He was a SCUBA nut and collected everything SCUBA he could get -- even including Van Halen's Diver Down -- just for the cover art.

I didn't see the 1965 film until much later -- I was 5 when it came out -- but I got the story from Mad Magazine: They drafted cartoon panel versions of every "M" rated film so that us kids could get the gist of the stories. You could say that I grew up around the music on that album. I think my brother and I played the LP more than he did. Like I said, he bought it for the cover art.

The first Bond film I saw was Diamonds Are Forever when I was 11. My dad took my brother and me to see it. Dad was so excited that Sean Connery came back to play Bond (he never accepted the other actors as "real" Bonds). Of course my mother didn't go. She didn't exactly approve of his taking us along either.

Interesting sidebar: The underwater scenes were directed by Ricou Browning (for which he won an Oscar).  Browning was already on my radar as a preteen because he had played the Gill-man in the Creature From The Black Lagoon series in the '50's. Browning's other credits included Flipper and also co-creating Weeki-Watchee Springs in Florida -- a place I saw in 1968 on a glorious family road trip.  I just learned that Browning is still alive (b. 1930) and he is the last surviving Universal Pictures Horror actor.

More Thunderball cover art discreetly below the fold:

WKRLEM: Grab them by the Octapussy

Dash it all Miss Moneypenny

"Take it out James."
"What do you mean Moneypenny?"
"Take it out and put it in my hand. I will show you what I can do with it."
"Why would I do that?"
"Well during the war I learned a lot of things."
"I bet you did."
"Yes quite. It was a hand to mouth existence. So to speak."
"I like how you think Moneypenny."

WKRLEM: He Goldfingered her.

"Do you expect me to talk?"

Bond awoke and opened his eyes. He was groggy and no idea how he had ended up tied to a table in the basement of Trump Tower. The last thing he remember he had been flirting with a big busted Eastern European model in bar at Trump Tower. From Slovenia. A little old for his taste but still toothsome.

He had ordered extra dry martini’s shaken not stirred. It seems that something had been stirred into his drink. That must have been how he ended up in this predicament.

He heard a purr in the corner. Bond turned his head and saw an orange figure dressed in white. He had an obvious hair piece. He was stroking a pussy. It was him. The mastermind. Mr. Trump.

“I see you are awake Mr. Bond. Finally.”

Dash it all Miss Monenpenny!

"Take it out James."
"What do you mean Moneypenny?"
"Take it out and put it in my hand. I will show you what I can do with it."
"Why would I do that?"
"Well during the Blitz I learned a lot of things."
"I bet you did."
"Yes quite. It was a hand to mouth existence. So to speak."
"I like how you think Moneypenny."

You smell delightful Miss Moneypenny!

"You smell delightful Miss Moneypenny."

"Thank you Commander Bond that is so nice of you to say. But I am afraid not everyone agrees."

"Why whatever do you mean?"

"Some claim that something just doesn't smell right about me."

"Who said that? Oddjob? Don't mind him. His smeller has been off due to his intense study of perfume. I am sure he means nothing by it."

"Thank you for that Commander Bond."

"No thanks necessary Moneypenny. I always take people as I see them until they prove otherwise. Isn't that how you would like me to take you?"

"Oooohhhhh JJJaaaammmmeeeesssss!"

Time for a Poll here at Lem's Levity!

If only Lem would install the poll feature. But Lem hasn't had a pole in a long time so I guess we can forget about that.

Anyhoo now is the time for you to pick your favorite Bond Girl:

Pussy Galore

Honey Rider

Plenty  O'Toole

Vesper

Jinx

Pick your favorite Bond Girl and let us know why!

KLEM TV

Overheard at Lem's:

ndspinelli said...
Just like the moon landing. I was teaching high school history after that stupid fucking "documentary" came out that the moon landing was really just staged on a movie set. Many impressionable minds bought the horseshit.
January 31, 2016 at 1:46 PM

link in case the video doesn't load

"Diamonds Are Forever" was a great come back for Sean Connery. My late father believed that all subsequent Bond actors were phonies. Too bad he didn't live to see Daniel Craig.

The film also featured Jill St. John who was more coax than hoax.

"Idris Elba ‘Too Street’ to Play James Bond, Author Says"

"The English novelist, whose latest book in the Bond series, “Trigger Mortis,” hits stores on Sept. 8, told the Daily Mail that the actor is simply not suave enough to succeed Daniel Craig."

“Idris Elba is a terrific actor, but I can think of other black actors who would do it better,” he said. “For me, Idris Elba is a bit too rough to play the part. It’s not a color issue. I think he is probably a bit too ‘street’ for Bond. Is it a question of being suave? Yeah.”

Horowitz also said that “Skyfall,” the last and highest-grossing Bond film to date, is his “least favorite” movie from the franchise.

“Bond is weak in it. He has doubts. That’s not Bond,” Horowitz said.

Spectre

"Liam Neeson Turned Down James Bond Role"

"Because Natasha Richardson Said She Wouldn't Marry Him If He Took the Part"

"I was heavily courted, let's put it that way, and I'm sure some other actors were too," the thespian said. "It was about 18 or 19 years ago and my wife-to-be said, ‘If you play James Bond we're not getting married!' And I had to take that on board, because I did want to marry her," he remembered with a smile. Neeson is of course referring to his late wife Natasha Richardson. The couple tied the knot in 1994 and was happily married with their two sons until her tragic death in 2009.

Faking Bad Update: The Vesper

Chip's improved photo (see comments)

The Vesper*

'A dry martini,' [Bond] said. 'One. In a deep champagne goblet.' 

'Oui, monsieur.' 

'Just a moment. Three measures of Gordon's, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon peel. Got it?' 

'Certainly, monsieur.' The barman seemed pleased with the idea. 

'Gosh, that's certainly a drink' said Leiter. 

Bond laughed. 'When I'm...er...concentrating,' he explained, 'I never have more than one drink before dinner. But I do like that one to be large and very strong and very cold and very well-made. I hate small portions of anything, particularly when they taste bad. This drink's my own invention. I'm going to patent it when I can think of a good name.' 

—Ian Fleming, Casino Royale (1953)

_______________________

*This one's destined for a retail display