Giggles Bar, K Street Washington April 5. 2008
Amanda Carpenter comes up to bar and places her expensive
Louie Vutton purse on the bar. She sits on a barstool in her designer dress and
surveys the veldt like a predator searching out prey. A lioness on the prowl in
her natural habitat. The bartender brings over her usual. A dirty martini. A very dirty martini. Because she is a very dirty girl.
She scopes out the action. A bunch of pajama boys.
Congressional staffers. Republican congressman in ill-fitting cheap suits from
Men’s Warehouse. Flotsam and Jetsam.
Then the crowd shifted a little. A beam of the last remaining sunlight
during happy hour illuminates the corner of the bar. There he stood. A sturdy rugged
Latin man. In a crisp $1,000 Paul Stewart suit and amazingly brightly shined
wing tip shoes. It was him. Don Juan
Montoya De La Theodore Cruz. The most conservative man in the world.
He felt her eyes on him. As though she was caressing him
from across the bar. He was sipping a Dos Equis. He didn't often drink beer. But when he did he drank Dos Equis. Conservatively.
He said something to his companion who laughed and
slapped him the back as he strode toward her. She sat up straighter on her
stool. She felt a little wet. Conservatism excited her. Not as much as cocaine
but still.
“Hello senorita. Do I know you” asked the tall olive skinned
Canadian? He was of course a Canadian even though he claimed to be an American.
He was proud to have been born near the USA. Why should mere details of his
place of birth matter to a man such as himself? After all. He is the most
conservative man in the world.
