Like a Doll's Eye!

Quint: [Quint first scratches the chalk board to get everyone's attention] Y'all know me. Know how I earn a livin'. I'll catch this Trump for you and improve your blog, but it ain't gonna be easy. Bad Commentors. Talking about things that interest them in their own voice. Not like going down the pond chasin' bluegills and tommycods. This Trump, swallow your blog whole. Little shakin', little tenderizin', an' down you go. And we gotta do it quick, that'll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin' basis.  But it's not gonna be pleasant. I value my self-important sense of myself over any sort of good fellowship. I'll find the sweet spot for you blog, but I'll decrease the number of comments, and just give you people who think the way I think. All one of them. But you've gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap, be on welfare the whole winter. I don't want no volunteers, I don't want no mates, there's just too many captains on this island. These peons are just not as smart as me. I am a world travel who got parking tickets on three continents. Because I am a driver. Just obey me and my opinions for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the toupee, the whole damn Trump. And all the reality show rubes who kiss his puffy ass will be gone. Giving clicks and comments on some other blog.

Like A Doll's Eye!

“You were at the debate? What happened?”

“Macro Rubio slammed two torpedoes into the SS Trump, Chief. We was comin' back from that terrible loss in South Carolina... just dropped like a bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred million in Super Pac Money went into the water. The Bush Campaign went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the Donald Trump coming for about a half an year. Tiger. Asshole. Reality star.
Thirteen footer. Of pure bullshit. You know... you know that when you're in the water, chief? You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. Well, at least at his toupee... it is a dead giveaway. I have lived all over the world. It’s not like I lived on one block all my life. I have traveled. I even know how to drive. A car. A boat. A golf ball. Everything except a nail. I hire Mexicans for that. Sailed the seven seas. B'cause my missions had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent to anyone, huh. I know everything but I can’t school all of you fools. I can only bomb one blog at a time. So when I didn’t attack that reality star asshole they didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, chief. The Trumplets come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it's... kinda like 'ol squares in battle like uh, you see on a calendar, like the Battle of Waterloo. The elitists. The Republican establishment. The small businessmen who exploit illegal aliens. The conservative pundits who Trump refuses to consult. The Neocons who never saw a war they didn’t want to start. And the idea was, the Trump goes to the nearest man and then he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the Trump and the Trumplets would go away and attack someone else.