"Hello Ladies and Germs Welcome to a brand new show on the Hell Broadcasting System: Hanging Around With Anthony Bourdain."
"I'm your announcer Ed McMahon and here is the host of the show Celebrity Chef and Raconteur Anthony Bourdain."
Anthony bounds onto the set. He is wearing his usual attire. A food stained expensive suit with his new accessory. A noose.
"Thanks Ed. And I would like to thank the owner of HBC our host and Lord Satan." Loud and raucous applause from the demented suffering tormented residents of Hell in the audience.
"Please welcome our first guest. He is a famous actor from a famous family. He pandered to Kung Fu...he killed Bill..he is your favorite Grasshopper....David Carradine."
"Thanks Tony glad to be hanging around with you."
"That's great Davy. I will get back to you in a minute. Now we have a new arrival here in Hell the one and only trend setter and Designer Kate Spade." Cheers and hisses from the audience.
"Thanks Tony. Glad to be here."
"I bet. Anything to get away from the half a fag husband of yours. I always thought his faggy muppet Brother was a sword swallower but I guess your husband was one too. He is such a homo he could have been named a bishop by the Pope. I bet you are glad to get away from him just like I am happy to get away from that baby raping Italian slut."
"You got that right Tony."
"Finally a brand new illegal immigrant in the Underworld POW, Senator and all around loser John McCain."
"Why am I here? I didn't hang myself. I don't understand."
"It's simple Maverick. You just fucking hung around too long. When you got the news that you caught the big C you should of retired. Instead you hung on with your fingernails like a bitch. So sit back and get ready for the show. But first a song from our Musical quest Mick Hutchence and our All Star Band!"
