Marilyn's Diary

I loved living in Southern California even though I was not native to the sunny vales of the Golden State. You see I was born in the old country and was brought here as a child after the terrible accident where my parents were killed that involved the villagers with torches and pitch forks. My Aunt Lily and Grandpa came and rescued me and brought me to their home. I am eternally grateful because that is where I met my wonderful Uncle Herman.

I had to hide the fact that Uncle Herman had become my monster lover. I didn't want to hurt my Aunt Lilly who had been so kind to me. So periodically I would date other people to throw her off the scent. Now I couldn't do that with Eddie because he was a werewolf and they can smell out anything but he only liked to smell piss. Specifically female piss so if I left a pair of my piss stained panties around he would be busy wacking off for days. Still and all I had to bring in a parade of losers just to keep up appearances.

I dated Moondoggie which had the added benefit of pissing off that little whore Gidget. She got so mad she went off to become a nun. Then I went out with Tod Stiles who was pretty cool. He was always off with his friend traveling on Route Sixty Six. I tried to interest him in Route Sixty Nine but he never wanted to ago there so I guess he was a homo. I heard he became a cop. There were several other losers but the one I most remember was a hillbilly from Carolina with a woodie named Sixty Grit.


He was related to one of my girlfriends from college. They were cousins or something which meant they had sex because that's what they do down south. She said he had a very talented tongue and a bad habit of correcting her grammar. Still I didn't care because I was sex crazy and someone with a constant woodie sounded just right.

I met him at the sorority house and we went out for milk shakes. As we got to talking I realized that my friend was trying to put one over on me. He didn't have a permanent woodie. He just liked to talk about wood, All the time. He pulled out grimy Polaroids of bowls and birdhouses he had made. Trees that he loved and wanted to cut down to make into breakfast nooks. He was very nice but just not my type. So after that one date I never saw him again. I wonder what ever happened to him.

I have a date next weekend with this cute guy named Wilbur. I hear he is pretty wealthy. He even owns a horse. Of course because that's what rich people do. I wonder if he is hung like a horse. Oh well we will see soon enough.