Wednesday, May 11, 2016

Too Busy for a Friend ...

This is mail, but it is hardly private. It is one of those chain letters that offers a fiction with lacuna too glaring for its length, followed by brief homily, followed by brief sermon with advice on behavior both prescriptive and proscriptive. Finally, guilt trip.

To say, "I love you."

The story is soldier dies, has a funeral, friends gather around. He had in his possession a list of good things his classmates said about him. Some classmates are at the funeral. The list of good things said was an exercise his teacher had the class do, list all the good things about each student in the class. She compiled the responses and distributed the results. The boy grew, kept his list of good things said of him, died, other list havers reunited. Teacher cries.

Now, start telling people you care.

Now, do this by forwarding this message.

Now, you received this because somebody cared

Now, if you're too f'n busy to recycle this fictional story, you have to say you pass a lot of opportunities to tell people you care.

Now, remember, Karma's a bitch. What you put into the lives of others comes back.

Like chain letters?


This whole thing is copy/pasted:

Too Busy for  a  Friend.....

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the  other students in the room on two sheets of  paper, leaving a space  between each name.

Then she told them to think of  the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.

It took the remainder of the class  period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote  down the name of each student on a  separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about  that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class  was  smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I  didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with  themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the  students was killed in
Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student.  She had never seen a serviceman in a  military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.

The church was packed with  his  friends. One by one those who loved him took a last  walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to  bless the coffin.

As she  stood there, one  of the soldiers who acted as  pallbearer came up to  her. 'Were you Mark's math  teacher?' he asked. She  nodded: 'yes.' Then he  said: 'Mark talked about you a  lot.'
After the  funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went  together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and  father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his  teacher.
We want to show you something,' his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket 'They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.'
Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of  notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded  and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.
'Thank you so much for doing that,' Mark's mother said. 'As you can see, Mark treasured it.'

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around.  Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still have my list. It's in the top  drawer of my desk at home.'

Chuck's wife said, 'Chuck asked me  to put his in our wedding album.'

'I have mine too,'  Marilyn said. 'It's in my diary'

Then Vicki, another classmate,  reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. 'I carry  this with me at all times,' Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: 'I  think we all saved our lists'

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark  and for all his friends who would  never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget  that life will end one day.  And we don't know when that one day will be.

So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important. Tell them, before it is too late.

And One Way To  Accomplish This Is: Forward this message on.  If you do not send it, you will have, once again passed up the wonderful opportunity to do something nice and beautiful.
If  you've received this, it is because someone cares for you and it means there is probably at least someone for whom you care.
If you're 'too  busy' to take those few minutes right now to forward  this message on, would this be the first time you didn't do that little thing that would  make a difference in your  relationships?
                                                                                 
Remember, you reap what you sow. What you put into the lives of others  comes back into your own.

End copy/paste.

Fail. No mention of grade. This is essential to create a visual image and to imagine what type of nice things the children would say. Two fails right there. No grade level. No actual remarks worth saving.

I resent these emails but I do not resent my friends and family who relay them. I'd prefer they simply tell their own stories instead they pass along these.

My response, this is what I put into the lives of others, to show them I care:

Photos or it didn’t happen.

Nice story, it’s so perfectly twee. And then a woman reached into her bra and pulled out her folded list tidily kept in a sandwich bag. And another guy took off shoe and peeled off his sock and his list fell out. Another woman said, “I have my list in the freezer.” Another one-time student said he framed his with a double matte and wide borders and it takes up the whole wall. While another said his is still in his old treehouse. While another said he has his list in a coffee can buried in the back yard. Then the teacher said, “This is fucking ACE! It’s perfect! Too perfect! It’s like it was written by a Hallmark retiree, in fact I’m selling this to Hallmark Network and Oxygen Network.

The hard part will be thinking up the nice things that 3rd grade, is it? No, 5th grade. No wait, 2nd grade, No, they have to be capable of saying nice meaningful things. Stupid childish things will not be saved. It  can’t be “John is nice” It has to be something specific, something an older child would say, okay? So maybe 3rd grade is the lowest possible grade, and 12th grade is too high. Just pick a grade! And go from there.

Fine! 5th grade.

“Susan talks nicely of others.”

“Susan helped me with maths.”

“Susan introduced me to her friends.”

“I like Susan because she always dresses nice.”

“Susan always has good breath.”

“Susan gave me a ride on her bike.”

“Susan’s whole family is nice.”

Yeah, yeah, that’s good. Have ‘em read the nice things they wrote about each other as kids and what assholes they think of each other now. It’ll make em wonder what went wrong. The audience will eat this shit up.

Friend wrote back: "They're obviously not millennials.

 (Meaning, I think, they wouldn't have cells, wouldn't be doing selfies. At the funeral! He still thinks the story is real.)




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