KLEM FM

Overheard at Lem's:

Sixty Grit said...San Jose, or as it is pronounced by the locals, "Sanazay", all one word. I moved to that area in '72 and I associate that band with my early times in the South Bay. Good times, good times. Rock on, dude...December 31, 2018 at 8:20 PM

I saw the band in Madison in 1975 but I don't recall much. Real doobies may have been involved.

They did have a great rhythm section -- especially the bass player:

Trump comments on Elizabeth Warren running for president in 2020

I've now seen this video a number of place. I supposed you could say that it's trending.

*squeaky ventriloquist voice* "How many places?"

"TWO! Alright? Satisfied? Two places. I've only looked at two sites. 

Jordan Peterson the muppet show

Kate at small dead animals thinks this is insanely funny. 

Jordan Peterson thinks it's funny too. He has it on his Twitter feed. His daughter thinks it's funny. She says so in YouTube comments. 

The rest of YouTube commenters need psychiatric help.

Rambutan

Now that I know its name I like it even more. They look like sea urchins, and their name is based on the word for hair.

"Are these things sweet?"

"Yes." The tiny old woman shook her head affirmatively and vigorously.

"Thank you."

Later, this same woman chased me down, easy enough to do, I'm going nowhere fast, "You person. You person. You person. You person."

"Me person?"

"Yes, you person. No this, yes this." She took out a package of grapes and put in another similar package. "This good. This no."

The shell opens like a sea urchin too. The tough gelatinous white interior pops out easily but the seed inside does not. 

I never had burdock before either. I have no idea what it does or why it is popular. I think it's a root but I don't know how it grows so straight. They look more like thin tree trunks.

This combination of things turned out to be an excellent tasting juice. 

I'm getting good at this. I'm a natural.

I'm learning. Keep things on the green side. Or white. So the combined colors are attractive. Actually, I had no idea what color the inside of the rambutan is. It could have been red for all I knew.

I forget but I think they were a little bit expensive, like $5.00+ for a small package, but I didn't care. I saw them and thought, "I must have you." Just to see. 

When you check the nutritional value of things, they often sound like they say the same things. I'm getting to where I don't really care for specifics.

But you know what? 

This happed the day before yesterday. 

I was sitting on the sofa for a long time reading and writing. Then popped up to walk away. Then I realized that motion was painless. 

For the first time in decades.

And no sound. No creaking joints. And suddenly I remembered not feeling anything getting up, how nothing felt like years ago. I recalled the state of absence of pain, and I thought, "wow, so this is how it should be. I forgot all about how that doesn't feel." This whole time it was pain that told me I'm alive. And the absence of pain is more like a dream.

Ptahhotep Maxims, Conclusion 1 of 7

Boy, we  sure are learning.

Some word mean a whole boat-load of things.

And some phrases too.

The word clouds are bizarre and extensive.

Like English, the words can function for different forms of speech.

So each sentence is a cloud of meaning next to another cloud of meaning next to another cloud of meaning, in chain.

And the signs themselves have interchangeable functions. You really don't know if a sign is part of a word or its own word. It could describe the word in front of it, thus be a part of it, or it can be a separate idea. Or it can stand for a sound, as a separate word, or as part of a word. There are abbreviations but there is no punctuation. It takes awhile to chop it all up.

There is a sign that clearly means face. It's a face with a 1 next to it. Apparently, it's one of those words that occur in languages that becomes imbued with additional meaning through time because it's the archaic Egyptian when this does mean "face" and Middle Egyptian and Late Egyptian it means so many other things that it's not even funny.

Just as "heart," clearly a heart, an animal heart, means "mind." And even in English those two things are interchangeable. "Had a mind to go conquer the Hittites." vs "Had a heart to go conquer the Hittites."

Egyptians believed thinking occurred in the heart. It's why during mummification the heart gets a canopic jar and it's own god to watch over it, and the brain gets dug out with a crochet needle and discarded in bits. Ew, gross.

So where the high-level, eons spanning, multi-linguistic, doctorate holding, book writing, conference attending, globe trotting, well respected experts agree "mind," I stick to "heart." Because that's what I'm seeing.

Just bite me because I don't even care.

If you hear these things I have said to you,
your every method will be to the fore;
as for any pertinent instance of Maat, that is their worth.
Their memory will dance in the mouth of people
because of the perfection of their phrases.
When any maxim is used,
it cannot perish in this land forever,
the doing of it expressed to perfection,
and officials speak in accord with it.
It is teaching a man to speak to the future:
he hears it and becomes a craftsman who is heard.
It is good to speak to the future:
that is what will hear it.
When a good thing comes from one who is boss.
it is continually valid,
and all his wisdom will be eternal.
It is the knowledgeable who helps his ba,
by setting his goodness on earth through it.
The knowledgeable is sated, because of what he knows,
by an official, because of his good deed
through the action of his mind and his tongue.
His lips are accurate when he is speaking,
his eyes when seeing,
and both his ears hearing what is useful for his son;
one who acts in accord with Maat,
being free of lying.

Two important nations speak trade entirely differently regarding the United State

This is weird. But very enlightening. Now, as I decide to not visit these two countries, it will be with a new understanding.

Chairman Xi Jinping delivers a speech the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference about trade but never mentions Trump.

Various Canadian media and economists and pundits and lobbyists speak about Canada's association with CPTTP and it's all Trump this, Trump that, Trump over there, Trump over here, Trump in the tent, Trump in a tree, Trump on a bicycle, Trump skipping rope, Trump playing tag, Trump playing king of the mountain, Orange Man, Orange Man, Orange Man, ORANGE MAN, OMG ORANGE MAN!!!111111!1111

It's positively psychological.

The whole country needs treatment.

South China Morning Post has the story about a right wing dictator of a massive country so calm in his aspect that he doesn't even bother to mention his chief economic adversary who he is battling and loosing ground to in a straight up economic war with trillions at stake along with the future of his country.

And conversely, here is the video showing Canadian broadcast service flouncing desperately trying to make their global trade deals sound good for certain isolated pockets of Canadians, but not for Canadian consumers, even while pundits accidentally acknowledging the scheme of allowing corporations full control over domestic pricing on commodities that has the result of exfiltrating wealth. And in all their minds, everything that they do is with Trump breathing on their necks.

China at war with the US doesn't even mention Trump, and Canada cannot keep Trump oot of their conversations. None of them can.

What's really weird, really really really weird, the thing that makes it so f'k'n obvious none of CBC newsreaders know what they're talking about, is the opening statement, "Free Traders around the world have something to raise a glass to new economic alliance..." She's reading. A script given to her. She's too stupid to know there IS no free trade. The deal itself assures that. It's the opposite of free trade. It's internationally manipulated trade, not free trade. And all the high-level finagling works against Canadian consumers.

The first newsreader is actually blond. She died her hair black to appear smarter. Fail.

pork belly

None of the pictures in duckduckgo images are nearly so awesome as the actual pork bellies displayed in the case at Pacific Ocean Market in Denver.  I nearly bought one just because they looked so perfect. Like flat bricks. On the side they look like a perfect strip of bacon, such as I've never seen in packages, more meat than fat, but with the fat striped throughout. Perfect bricks.

But I don't know what to do with them. The t.v. shows that I've watched for decades have never shown what to do with them. I don't see any such things in regular groceries or even in regular butchers. Apparently it's an Asian thing. Mind, they also have cuts of other things that I've never seen. Like a Mexican market, there's all these weird cuts all over the place, hardly anything at all recognizable.

It's like white people butcher animals differently from the rest of the world. And I'm baffled when I encounter their style.

[how to cook pork belly]

Deadspin came up.

The writer swears a lot. The pork belly pictured in diagram isn't as perfect as the ones seen at the Asian market.

The article disparages bacon as relic of a time before refrigeration and with limited present day value. The writer avers nothing is better than fresh pork belly that has broader uses and tastes a lot better.

All this time later, though, we've got refrigeration and, hell, we've even got freezers, and so there's almost never any occasion when we absolutely need to salt-cure what is far and away the best and most delicious edible hunk of any animal on earth. But! Being Americans—cursed with both a leftover puritanical distrust of anything that is good and a xenophobic blockheadedness about challenging our hysterically limited palettes—we're still doing the same old tried-and-true but ultimately destructive drying and/or curing of our delicious pork belly. We don't know any better! And we don't want to know any better. Dang it all, that is what being an American is all about!

Shut up about all that and just tell us what to do.

He continues with more proselytizing .

Finally. Half way through the whole thing.

Step 1: Find a pork belly.

Already did that. The writer goes on about how difficult they are to find.

Step 2: Score the fat with diagonal lines to form diamond shaped cuts

Step 3. Make a rub. The usual suspects. All the rub spices in your pantry with brown sugar. Use whichever spices you like: garlic powder, cumin, paprika, cayenne pepper, salt are suggested.

He left out black pepper, dry mustard, any of the hundreds of various curry combinations, fennel, fenugreek, asafoetida, cardamon, clove, coriander, ginger powder, turmeric, star anise.

Rub it all over the block of pork belly.

Step 4. Heat oven to 500℉. Roast fat side down for 10-15 minutes. When the fat bubbles and turns light brown turn down the oven to 325℉ and leave it alone for 90 minutes.

Still fat side down? That doesn't sound right.

After 90 minutes, open a beer and pour it into the roasting pan and cook it for another hour.

Step 5. Cooking is finished. Remove the bork belly roast from the oven and let it rest for 10-15 minutes.

The beer-fat spicy goop on the bottom of the roasting pan is good to pour over the meat when it's sliced or shredded.

Done.

Now what to do with it?

* Shredded, makes excellent taco filling.

* Also very good sandwich filling.

* On a roll with hot sauce or slaw

* mix it with scallions and throw into a Chinese pancake with hoisin sauce

? What?

* Tear open a steamed bun stuff it full of dripping hot pork belly and just cram it into your face.

(This is the third time sandwich is suggested)

* sauté diced peppers, diced onions, diced potatoes, quartered Brussels sprouts, shredded or chopped or sliced or cubed pork belly and top it with a couple of poached eggs.

(That's a hash, with poached eggs)

And completely ruin all other breakfast foods forever.

Ha! That's how I feel about Napa cabbage and shrimp with 7 magical Asian flavor ingredients.

* It's also fine to put the whole thing in the refrigerator and then cut slices and fry in a pan, flip them one time in their own rendered fat and stand there and eat hot pork belly perhaps with a few drops of Sriracha.

He's pretending it's bacon.

The finished pork belly is sweet from the caramelized sugars and salty and spicy from the rub, soft and unbelievably rich from the slow cooking and abundant rendered fat but pleasingly crispy and brittle on the corners from the quick early broil. The finished pork belly will present many of the enjoyable characteristics of bacon, along with welcome textural complexity and an ecstatic diversity of flavor, bite to bite and even chew to chew, that will make your tongue stand up in your mouth and shout about being King of the World. The finished pork belly will be, in virtually every way, so vastly superior to dumb old bacon that you will come to wonder what in the hell you've been eating next to your eggs all these years.

Sold! I'm going back there right now and buy one of those things and do this. How dumb could I have been to just leave them behind? That doesn't even make sense.

An actual bald eagle lands on a man in stands for a football game after then National Anthem

Here's another football related story that I cannot make heads or tails of. There are too many place names, team names, stadium names, mascots, cities to get straight. It's worse than Egyptian hieroglyphic grammar

Clemson Tigers
Notre Dame
Arlington, Texas
Fighting Irish
AT&T Stadium

The bird flew onto his shoulder and perched there for 20 seconds and flew to another fan afterward.

Cotton Bowl Classic.

Man, that Daily Mail always has the best photos and videos. You should see 'em.

Alabama defeats Oklahoma

Associated Press at Fox News says, "sets up showdown with Clemson for college football championships."

Like everybody automatically knows what that means.

Lemme guess.

$10.00 right here. I bet Clemson is a coach for Alabama.

Alabama (14-0) advanced to the national championship game for the fourth consecutive season and will play Jan. 7 in Santa Clara, Calif., against familiar foe Clemson, which beat Notre Dame 30-3 in the Cotton Bowl in Dallas. Clemson, ranked No. 2, and Alabama will face off in the playoffs for the fourth year in a row, and have split two title games.

I think I lost the bet. Looks like Clemson is the name of a school, not a coach.

Well, live and learn innt. Oh well. I paid a 100 x more than that for a college class.

Trump freezes pay for federal workers in 2019

Wow. That's cold.

Roll Call.

President Trump signed an executive order on Friday that would freeze pay for federal workers in 2019.

Would?

The plan was confirmed in August required to head off steep pay raises that would happen by dint of a 1990 law which presidents routinely override.

Weird.

But now Trump does it so it's automatically catastrophic.

This is just pouring salt into the wound. It is shocking that federal employees are taking yet another financial hit. As if missed paychecks and working without pay were not enough, now they have been told that they don’t even deserve a modest pay increase.

Said some guy.

More words back and forth regarding the pay of workers in our morbidly obese federal government. We're expected to care.

End right here.

Fact is, I can't care.  Just don't have it in me.

My mind wandered.

To something more interesting to me.

I had a flashback. ZAP! A picture forms. A memory of picture that formed. It formed again.

Of that deaf rapper Signmark in his video, "Smells Like Victory" in which he rhymes "victory" with "stick to me."

Then he says, "you haters ain't s*** to me."

But, watching carefully as we do there is no "S***" to be seen and there is no "to me."

Instead, where that phrase appears he picks something off the tip of his nose and tosses it.

It's an odd 3-stage sign. Pick something off, turn hand around, flick off the invisible something.

It means "I don't care."

"Don't mean s*** to me" = "I don't care."

And I have no idea why that motion means I don't care. It's a mystery to me. It sticks to me.

Even though shown once, and accepted, and internalized instantly, and used thereafter, I still don't know why it means "I don't care."

Maybe it comes from France.

Gallaudet was French after all.

It seems like a European motion.

That's actually more interesting to me than the fate of the pay rate of 2.1 million federal civilian workers. They're overpaid to begin with relative to market standards and there are far too many of them. If it was bad for them, and it's not, then they'd leave in great numbers. But they don't. Because they have it made in the shade and they know it. Seems my mind wandered back.

Tilapia is the worst

I don't know why I haven't been here for so long. Their old place was like this too. On the same street but now several blocks closer to me, hardly a difference when I have to drive out there anyway, it just seems significantly closer. But it isn't. Pacific Ocean Market moved to new digs when Costco set up nearby. Obviously Cosco is the greater outlet but Pacific Ocean Market is a lot more interesting. 

Cosco is about bulk. Huge quantities of things. Pacific Ocean Market is about providing Asians living in America with the things that they're fond of and need. They are worlds apart in orientation. 

See what I did there? Orient. 

They're lovely people. 

Although, one time, I walked straight up to an old guy on a stool stocking things on a top shelf to ask him which one is the good kind of mirin and spoke directly to him, shooting my question at him abruptly and he ran away.

Now, he knew I can't chase him. What an asshole.

No fair.

But today these people were all lovely.

The other fish in the glass counters are much better than these. But there were people standing in front of them and I didn't intend to buy anything there. But keep it in mind. Although somewhat pricey for excellent selection and fantastic cuts, it's still a lot less expensive than Whole Foods. 

Say, if you want an entire red snapper, or gigantic cut of salmon or tuna suitable for sushi. This is the place to come.

I bought a sack full of clams because they're right there in the front of the cases and I could pick them out myself. 

Butter and white wine, a bit of diced onion and herbs would be very nice with that. Just heat it all up in a pot until they steam open.

My dad's uncle ran such a seafood place in Scranton Pennsylvania and my dad worked there awhile, a few summers I think, and he liked to hang out with his uncle along with us two boys. Then, he'd inevitably bring home a bucket of clams and Barry and I were all, "Ew, gross." And that odor of clean fresh seafood combined with the hosed down wet concrete dock exists as a primal scent. Just one whiff of that or a similar smell and, schwing ... transported through time and through space. 

Shrimp. It's quite a selection. 

Dragon fruit

Pitaya. From Central America. Transplanted to southeast Asia, just like vanilla, and chile, where they really took off. They grow on cactus. And not just regular cactus, they grow on the weird kind of cactus like huge Christmas cacti at the ends of long leathery leaves. And they bloom six times a year and only overnight, but they're pollinated by bats and by moths which are impossible to manage.

See, you should never plant this type of cactus because it just invites dragons. 

A dragon comes flying in and poops out these scaled horned fiery dragon eggs all over these dragon cacti then the cactus owner must come out and collect the eggs. And the next night, boom, same thing all over again. If the eggs are left to hatch then you end up with a superabundance of dragons. You can see how quickly this gets out of hand by mere oversight or neglect. Trufax.

But what do they taste like. Let's ask the most critical of all taste experts. 

Michael Murphy's anti-gun art for DNC

Maine governor writes "stolen election" next to his signature on certificate confirming Democrat election win

Story in the headline. There's not much more to it than this tweet at I Love My Freedom.

I’ve signed off on the CD2 election result as it’s no longer in federal court. Ranked Choice Voting didn’t result in a true majority as promised-simply a plurality measured differently. It didn’t keep big money out of politics & didn’t result in a more civil election #mepolitics pic.twitter.com/0fEhD1dvAb

— Paul R. LePage (@Governor_LePage) December 28, 2018

Tesla Model 3

In 48 seconds. Boy, they sure do make these cars quickly.

Pizzles

I must go to Pacific Ocean Market to buy whatever bizarre fresh vegetables and fruit I will find.

See, I bought a coconut from King Soopers and it turned out to be inedible, and I know Pacific Ocean Market has good ones. And I know I can get fresh water chestnuts and bamboo shots, really big ones, and good bean sprouts, and all kind of greens that you never even heard of. Herbs at low prices, mushrooms at very low prices. It's like a trip to China and Vietnam and Cambodia and Japan all at once, with live seafood and fresh fish that hasn't been frozen and Peking duck and their own tofu. All kind of weird stuff like senbi, toasted rice crackers made with soy sauce and nori.

And giant containers of MSG.

Come to think of it, I don't know why I don't hang out there more.

Know what pizzles are?

I'm not even going to tell you.

Because it's very rude.

Who would even eat such a thing?

A maniac, that's who.

Check out the photographs on Yelp.

TDS in the wild

Great job, Media. Well done. By ubiquity, by pervasiveness coming in from every angle, by complete saturation you've managed to warp tender and beautiful minds to extreme distortion and elevate raw emotions to breathtaking height.

I've seen it myself. Repeatedly. That's why I limit social engagements and constrict my circle of friends. I have only to review my own last fifteen birthday parties for sufficient examples. The latest one this last July stands for a very good example on its own. As will the next.

One guy who I know very well allowed his personality to be changed by the things that he hears on t.v., taken as received common shared wisdom. I know the man can think for himself, but when it comes to political matters he cedes his thinking to others less astute than himself and the things that are absent are even more glaring lacuna than the wrong things that are present and spoken.

If he had more, and more accurate information, then he wouldn't associate with the Democrat Party at all. As it is, his sweet mind is as a funnel. And it's filled with garbage that's woefully wrong.

I heard, "Boy it sure is hot. *sarcastic voice* But that's got nothing to do with global warming. NoooOOOOOOOOOooo. It can't be anything like that."

Then. "The man refuses to allow transgenders into the military." (I happen to know the person doesn't give a flying snit about American military.)

Then. And here's the good part because it has all the unusual and uncharacteristic vocabulary drilled into his ears and lodged in his head, as if is it all normal words: "Trump is misogynist, xenophobic, transphobic, homophobic, and racist."

He is a lovely man. But at my birthday party he's a raging angry mal-informed asshole. And I don't like that. I don't like the transformation. I don't like a smart lovely man being so g.d. stupid. And I'm not up to the task of challenging all social media, all news, all Hollywood, all academia, all the Democrat Party.

One said, "I saw a bumpersticker that said, "If you elect a clown you can expect a circus. Ha ha ha ha ha."

[If you get your political opinion from bumperstickers, from Democrat late night talk show hosts, from movies, from television shows, from news produced by Democrats, read by Democrats newsreaders, for a Democrat audience, from your college professors, then you are seriously misinformed taking in straight up Party propaganda, the equivalent of Itar Tass. And it shows by your angry retardation and your emotional disruption.]

I interjected forcefully. "Where in the world are you getting your information?" I know where he's getting his information. Where they're getting their information. I'm trying to get across it's not good enough. Accepting it is making them stupid. And I don't like that.

The two men engaged talking both look at me a bit stunned and perplexed. Why am I asking such a basic queston?  "From the news." Shrug. Of course. Where else?" Duh. Everyone knows this common shared knowledge.

"Paul, a decade ago when I asked you about your father, you said amusingly, 'he reads the newspaper everyday but he doesn't know what's going on in the world.' Well guess what. You've become your father. American news is not serving you well." I shook my head in disgust and rolled my eyes comically dramatizing because that's how we talk. "Well, see. There it is. You guys need a lot better sources of information." And left it at that. We were together to celebrate me surviving another year. Thank you, Lord. I must now pray. I was in no mood to argue. Again.

"Dear God, thank you for letting me live another year. It's actually quite interesting down here. I'd really love to see it through if that's okay with you. You're the best. Amen."

Turn volume down. The video is blood-pressure affecting. NSFW due to intense swears.

Trump Derangement Syndrome in the wild. Vape shop employee in epic anti Trump meltdown
-----
(Source: https://t.co/gnV5kKcAw4) pic.twitter.com/zlko5cCSRn

— PolishPatriot™️ (@PolishPatriotTM) December 29, 2018

Update: The dude was fired. 

Ride through Victoria and Vancouver, May 1907

Speed corrected with sound added.

Seen at Small Dead Animals.

Randy Travis: I Will Not Drown in Shallow Water

Pop Quiz

This pop quiz was written for a young nephew. It's based on a post made on another Blogger site. He'll ace it easily. He was delighted to tell us that most of the things we think of as vegetables are actually fruit. On account of them having seeds inside them. I suppose.

Your pop quiz is about fruit vs. vegetables. 

All of these things are smashed in a machine to make mixed juice from both fruit and vegetables.

The idea is to get nutrition from different sources all at once without having to eat all this stuff. Just drink it instead. 

1) The big brown thing with the shaved off side showing white inside is celeriac. It’s the root ball of a celery plant. The root ball is underground and the green celery grows out of it straight up. It tastes exactly like celery. 

2) The red ball with the funny looking round thing on it like a balloon is a pomegranate. It’s filled with sweet juicy little red seeds. Actually, the red seeds are called “arils” and the real seed is inside them. The real seed is tiny and hard. Pomegranates are difficult to peel because all the red arils are clustered inside like corn on the cob except organized differently in patches. It’s weird. But it’s also very sweet and delicious. People like to put them on salads for sweet red dots.

3) Small red apple

4) Medium size red bell pepper

5) Tomato

6) The light brown ball in the back is an Asian pear. 

Here’s the pop quiz. Only 2 questions. 

1) Which of things are vegetables, and which ones are fruit? 

2) All of these things were smashed in a machine to make mixed juice. Does the juice have more vegetable juice or does it have more fruit juice?

Good luck on your quiz.

Uncle Bo, the best uncle in the world. 

Go Fund Me, Wall

As of right now, $2,000 more and, boink, $18 million.

The list of contributors shows only the last 6

$50
$50
$50
$50
$25
$50

When I looked before it was $10, $5, $10, $15 and so on.

Let's have a laugh. Fine, let's have a barely audible chuckle.

Go Fund Me: Tunnels Under Trump's Wall

Contrarians. They want to buy shovels for tunnelers. But they're not really serious. They're just making a point. A stupid little point, but they must make it.

Presently $3,000

$15
$6
$10
$10
$5
$10

Their hearts are not into it. Nor their pocketbooks.

Trump sells rice to Chinese

#China has, for the first time ever, provided clearance for U.S. #rice imports into its domestic market. https://t.co/Yl3x0MU2Ms

— Stratfor (@Stratfor) December 28, 2018

Worldview.Stratfor

For the first time ever, China has provided clearance for U.S. rice imports into its domestic market.

It's a positive sign before scheduled trade talks. The agreement was signed last year and is on time but the announcement right now pleases key constituencies in the U.S.

Thailand and Vietnam are dominant in the Chinese rice market so U.S. sellers face a considerable challenge.

Sleepless in Seattle, An Affair to Remember

Lauren Spagnoletti for PJ Media makes a list of 5 movies to help ring in the new year. They're kind of goofy movies except Ocean 11 and Trading Places are okay, I guess. I haven't seen Sleepless in Seattle or When Harry Met Sally, but I've seen so many clips of them it's close to seeing the whole film, and each time I go, "Naaaah."  And I never even heard of Radio Days. It sounds awful.

And hearing "Auld Lang Syne" makes me want to throw a ceramic cup across the room. It reminds me too much of so many drunken men and women grabbing me and squeezing me and kissing me for us having survived another year on Earth and then pissing off for the rest of the whole year. It's alcohol-fueled overly maudlin and empty, three of the worst things together.

The article sucks. Except for Ocean 11 and Trading Places.

In comments. "The scene in Sleepless in Seattle where Tom Hanks mocks An Affair to Remember "That's a chick's move!" is classic.

Oh? I wouldn't know. Let's see. YouTube [sleepless in seattle, affair to remember].

Okay. I concede. The whole instant flip thing was kind of funny. Nice touch.

Crazy Russian Hacker: PancakeBot

Use the pancake mix to make it easier.

Ha ha ha.

It's already easy. It's flour, sugar and baking powder. Possibly buttermilk powder and baking soda instead of baking powder. And salt. 

You can add vanilla, or almond extract, or both. Or any liqueur. Cinnamon, cardamon, nutmeg, and butter, of course, duh.

What else? Powdered ginger perhaps. There is a whole range of flavor extracts. And a juicer or blender can produce any fruit or vegetable flavor liquid to substitute a portion of milk or buttermilk. 

PancakeBot on Amazon $257.00 (It's $300 directly from the manufacturer.)

Dinosaur.

SignMark, Smells Like Victory

I was looking through online ASL dictionaries for an example of "soon" the way I've been doing it most of my life. And I failed. So now I have to do the newfangled way. FINE!  That's easy enough. Two ways. The alternative way is "short."

That search led to a result "Sia's SNL Mime and Sign Language in Pop Music."

Ew, I hate those mices to pieces. That was a terrible performance.

I hate, hate, hate, x infinity that mime doing minimal sign and the rest expressive gesturing in a ridiculous costume that doesn't communicate anything. Very poor. Unworthy.

But I must go to Huffington Post to commiserate.

It's not so bad.

I learned that Paul McCartney's video for "My Valentine" has Johnny Depp and Natalie Portman each facing the camera signing lyrics. And that deaf individuals pointed out a number of errors including "tampon" for "appear." (They do very well.)

The sign for "tampon" looks like a paper being smacked on a spindle. Except the paper is stationary and the spindle comes up from underneath and stabs it through the fingers.

The "appear" is the sign that means "show up" not the sign that means "seem."

Ha ha ha, show up = tampon. Stop it, yer killing me.

And that "show up" sign is one in system of signs that includes its opposite, "disappear," and its lateral corollary "escape." And these signs work for all three of the English words clouds,

* disappear, drop out, die out, abandon, ebb, exit, be swallowed up, cease to exist, end gradually, vanish, fade away, leave no trace,
* escape, dessert, take flight, decamp, elope, evade
* appear, pop up, show up, attend, join the party, suddenly exist

And now tampon.

That kills me.

The article pontificates how musicians can incorporate deaf into their acts if they want to and do better at it than Sia and McCartney did. The writer mentioned a Finnish performer, a deaf rapper who works with a hearing man to vocalize what he is signing. SignMark.

I like it a lot. The article is a good source for new stuff.

Come on, watch and follow along. It's very repeat-y you'll see "victory" is the same sign as "win." And you know what? This whole thing look a lot like ASL and not at all foreign. Finnish didn't have any of the signs I looked up on Spread the Sign. Their flag is white with a blue cross.

DC decriminalizes theft

Not really.

But they did waive the criminal charge that comes with evading fare on the city's Metro system.

American Thinker, by Taylor Lewis.

Lewis begins with the term "legalized theft" a term libertarians used talking about taxation and a metaphor used by reformers of civil asset forfeiture and a phrase constitutionalists used to describe eminent domain.

The article evolves to a discussion on race since 91% of offenders are black. Males, presumably, they're very good jumpers. The discussion goes into some depth.

What’s wrong with asking everyone to pay the price for a public service? Singling out blacks as incapable of not skimming off the top doesn’t put the race in a great light. It excuses malefaction, contradicting Frederick Douglass’s plea to view black Americans as equal, morally autonomous individuals and to “give [them] a chance to stand on [their] own legs!”

And then on to the greater dissolution of honorable mores that once governed our private sector, and the preventative enforcement power whittled away to the point of sanction. Lewis evokes Saul Bellow's Mr. Sammler's Planet describing a Holocaust survivor observing social degradations in Manhattan.

You had to be strong enough not to be terrified by local effects of metamorphosis, to live with disintegration, with crazy streets, filthy nightmares, monstrosities come to life, addicts, drunkards, and perverts celebrating their despair openly in midtown. You had to be able to bear the tangles of the soul the sight of cruel dissolution.

Some more at the link.

The really interesting thing over there is, the commenters are all very good. They take this article as base and build on it beautifully. The whole thing is a very good read.

Leftists mock First Lady for wearing Timberland boots, while lauding ex-First Lady's thigh-high glitter boots

Conclusion: Leftists have poor taste in boots.

Story at the Gateway Pundit, with disparaging tweets, bullet points of unrelated material, and comments that go off the track.

They were both dressed appropriately. Melania was in a large tent in the desert and Michelle was out pimping her book. 

Honestly, the woman has the fashion sense of a 12 year-old girl in Tokyo. And it's no fair, really. Melania was an actual fashion model. And here the leftist will be quick to say, "Yeah, and we have the nudes to prove it." And then I say back, "Still no fair. Michelle cannot  do nudes or she would. Everyone would see she has a penis." And then they would know however low that they go, I go lower. And then flustered they say something like, Trump is ruining the planet! And sticking to the subject I say, "And it's bigger than yours." 

Oh man, that reminded me. 

Change of subject right here. Related to low-level language.

N.J. High School wrestler forced to choose between his dreadlocks or wrestling

This video was chosen for it having the least annoying news readers, and for its short length. There are others if you like that sort of thing.

Story in words at NPR, if you like that sort of thing.

Twitter machine

American Thinker: With identical tweets, Schumer and Pelosi reveal themselves as mouthpieces for the same propaganda puppet master.

Words and finger puppet analogy at the link.

Let's start getting ready for New Year party

You don't have to go crazy like we did and plan for 100+ people coming and going throughout the night, many of them to parties in series. A lot of people go to three parties in one night. I did. When I wasn't hosting.

The same ideas can be used for small parties of twenty people or so.

And you can pull it off so comfortably so amiably with such ease that people will be wonder, "Are you a professional caterer, or what?'

This chef is fat, so we can probably trust him. Then again maybe he eats indiscriminately. Let's watch what he does and either accept or reject or modify his suggestions.

Our job is not to feed people dinner. Rather, our job is to stave people's hunger and for people to have something in their stomachs as they drink.

Wouldn't do to have drunks falling about all over the place getting sloppy and heaving their guts onto the carpets, furniture, wastebaskets and laundry. 

We're looking for bright happy colors, food that's appealing. So, "no" to the potatoes. 

If you really wanted the potatoes then you could doll them up with color such as minced scallion for green and something red like diced bell pepper. For dots. But baked potato, good Lord, that's a clunky idea.

Things that are refreshing and light and bright are the best things. 

Like colorful fish tacos. Say, small tostadas. With very lightly fried flaky cod that does not have intense fish flavor. Then topped with light slaw or shredded lettuce, diced tomato and avocado, flavored with cumin and coriander for Old-World depth and flavor. Held together with flavored mayonnaise sauce as glue.

Toni's favorite thing was a dumb idea but people loved these things. They'd be waiting at the oven and entire trays would disappear in seconds. It blends the lowest dumbest cheese with the most expensive crab. It's weird. But those two things do go together. NOT the fake crab. You must use the real deal. Luckily a little goes a long way. 

We called them "confetti crab" for their green and red dots; scallion and red bell pepper. The Velveeta is partially frozen so it shreds more easily. The crab meat is shredded by hand. All that combined with Miracle whip or with mayonnaise with sugar added, and flavored however you wish, say, with Old Bay, or better with any combination of its elements. Look on a label of Old Bay at the store and buy any of those elemental spices. Your version will be better than Old Bay because Old Bay is gross, frankly. They use spice silo floor sweepings. Their spices are the cheapest and they are old. And their tins sit around for years. Just smelling Old Bay makes me ill, but still, it's a very good starting point.

Cut a baguette in thin slices and spread on the confetti crab generously in a pile and bake until the Velveeta melts and turns brown in spots. You can see how one baguette and one bowl of this mixture will work to satisfy your guests. 

One time I made way too many trays of these and lived on them for two months so I'm over them. But that doesn't mean that they're not great for everyone else. Back then I had an extra refrigerator and freezer. They're easy to make, not so expensive, go a long way, delicious, attractively colored, smell fantastic, and people like them. So what the heck.

Incidentally, when my mother discovered the several extra half gallons of vodka and whiskey and rum and cases of beer under the steps in the basement, basically, a well-stocked bar, she yelled at the top of her voice to my father upstairs, "JOHN! COME LOOK AT THIS! LOOK WHAT THIS KID'S GOT DOWN HERE."

"Mum, I'm not going to drink it. GAWL!" 

A similar idea is pita bread split in half. They can be trimmed to be closer to squares. Each half is spread with flavored Philadelphia cream cheese on the rough inside. That's the base and the glue. Then any mixture, say, cooked chicken in its gravy or even turkey, and shredded lettuce and shredded cheese as making a sandwich, whatever else you want. Roll it up into a cylinder with cream cheese sticking it shut. Cut the cylinder into slices so each slice becomes a spiral. They're served cold.

Jalapeño popper is another idea. Tinned diced hot jalapeño works very well, and  shredded Mexican cheese rolled up into won ton wrappers and sealed tightly with water and cornstarch. People love these things when they're drinking. Shallow fried and drained. They're best straight out of the oil. Leftovers freeze very well both cooked and pre-cooked. 

Cambodian type spring rolls are another very good idea. But unfortunately, best assembled hours before serving. These are the freshest of fresh ingredients. Key ingredients are shrimp halved latitudinally, bean sprouts, lettuce, and mint. Mushrooms if you like them. Julienned carrots. And pretty much whatever you'd like to have, say, crushed roasted and sated peanuts. Rolled in rice paper wrappers that come brittle-dry and become pliable when dunked in a bowl of water. Best to have 2 sauces, one of them with peanut butter base, the other with a soy sauce base, the rest of the sauce ingredients are the usual Asian suspects, fish sauce, mirin, sake, sugar, toasted sesame seed oil. And catsup, believe it or not. Each roll can be sliced into three or four segments, brought down to the size of a mouthful. They must be rolled tightly. Obviously.

Rumaki is out. That's a pain in the ass. But if you do decide to make it, one carton of chicken livers goes a very long way. Trim each liver of anything gross. Only nice clean smooth segments are used. And only a tiny segment of chicken liver, not a whole liver per hor d'oeuvre. Each liver can make six or more hor d'oeuvres. Then disguise the flavor by loading them up with brown sugar. Fresh water chestnuts from the Asian markets are best and they're a major pain in the ass to peel and slice, but necessary for crunch. Tinned water chestnuts work, but they're not nearly as crunchy. And jicama lacks any flavor. I suppose you could soak pieces in lime juice to compensate for its shortcoming. Buy good bacon and cut the whole package in half. 1/2 slice bacon determines the size of your hor d'oeuvre. Bake the bacon only half way, so it's half cooked and still pliable. The second baking after assembly and before serving is when the tiny liver piece cooks. 

Place a sliver of water chestnut on the a 1/2 strip of 1/2 cooked bacon. then smear the whole thing with an abundance of brown sugar. Place the tiny chicken liver on top of the water chestnut slice and wrap the bacon around and stab it with a toothpick. Arrange on a covered tray to bake the rest of the way. The bacon finishes cooking to crispiness, the brown sugar melts, and the tiny chicken liver cooks through. Done.

I must tell you. One time Dr Fred popped an unbaked rumaki in his mouth and ate it. The half baked bacon had the appearance of being done. 

Another time I made a ton of these for an elegant black woman's wedding. A friend of mine. She didn't know what she was asking. She had 400 guests at her reception and I baked 9 LBS of bacon. My whole house smelled of bacon for a week. Put me off rumaki a full decade. 

She rented Spruce Street, the premier local black club at the time. We used their beautiful and ample kitchen to finish things off. Her best friend, another acquaintance of mine, another elegant black woman and her gorgeous young daughter, I'd say, fifteen years of age were there in the kitchen to help. The daughter was lifting a tray of rumaki out of the oven. I do not know her. We met that day. 

Understand I'm the only white person there. The kitchen is bright, but the club is dark. I stand out like Casper the ghost in the club. I literally illuminate like a light bulb. Their bodies absorb light and my body reflects it. 

In the kitchen I said to the girl, "try one." 

She asked, "What's in it?" 

I said, "Chicken liver."

She said, "No. No way. I don't eat no chicken liver." 

"TRY IT! I SAID." 

See, that there is funny. I have no business bossing around a little girl. Especially not a beautiful young girl like her, the daughter of an acquaintance. I expected her to say "No" again. I thought it was funny. But she obeyed and plunked one into her mouth and her eyes lit up and she smiled with satisfaction. "This is good!" 

Of course. The chicken liver is thoroughly disguised. And there is not much of it. Just enough to give even more depth to bacon. It becomes more like liver and bacon candy. Intense savory candy. 

Incidentally, this took several days preparation. I saw that I was getting behind. So I called another woman I know and she dropped what she was doing and came over to help. Later she started her own catering service based on what she did that day. Most of her original recipes were things that we put out. She expanded on her own since then, of course, but just as the man and the woman who got married, that day was the start of her new life. The guests there hadn't seen anything like it. They said so repeatedly. They all assumed I was a hired professional. The husband was blown away and he couldn't believe his new wife is so resourceful. He told me so. 

Trump, the best president I didn't vote for

David Catron writing for the American Spectator.

Skip the first paragraph. It's boring. Catron's mental path that led him away from voting for Trump.

And then, a series of paragraphs so exquisite it's worth committing to memory. Here's an outline. Useful when confronting dummkopf received emotional wisdom with stark naked fact.

* Only 2 years in office
  ** unprecedented and relentless resistance
    *** from Democrats
    *** from Media
    *** Mueller investigation
* accomplished more than many presidents did in 2 terms.

* made measurable progress on all of his goals against coordinated resistance from all areas including his own party, from all establishment concerns.

* the economy
  ** despite FRB meddling
  ** GDP growth at 3.4%
  ** unemployment 3.7%, lowest since 1969
  ** tax cuts maligned by Democrats and media
  ** workers are clearly sharing in the tax-cut windfall
  ** not just through tax-cut bonuses and lower withholdings
  ** through increased opportunities and wage growth
  ** hourly wages rising at 3.1% fastest since 1999
  ** lowest unemployment of minority groups than any time on record
  ** median household income at its hightest
  ** job opportunities 4 million created
  ** 10% in manufacturing sector that Democrats abandoned
  ** opportunities for minorities ostensibly represented by Democrats
  ** female and youth unemployment at lowest point in 50 years

Lies that Pelosi insists upon.

From day one, the White House and Republicans in Congress have sold out working and middle class families to further enrich the wealthy and big corporations shipping jobs overseas.… At the same time, the President’s reckless policies are exploding gas prices, wiping out the few meager gains that some families should have received from the GOP tax scam, as wages remain stagnant.… Democrats will never stop fighting for the hard-working middle class families.

  ** gas prices lowest level in 6 years, averaging just under $2.00 gallon.
  ** Democrats lie about the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act unable to admit its $5.5 trillion in gross cuts eased the tax burden on families.
  ** misled voters about its dramatic increase in the standard deduction for individuals and families.
  ** cannot admit it doubled the child tax credit.
  ** cannot admit 85% of workers saw paychecks increase, and entrepreneurs can now deduct 20% of their business income.

* Democrats cannot tell the truth about Trump's efforts to free Americans from Obamacare
  ** by expanding short-term, limited duration health plans
  ** and enabling more small businesses to join Association Health Plans
  ** repeal of "death panel" Independent Payment Advisory Board for rationing essential healthcare to the elderly.
  ** repeal of individual insurance mandate
  ** by eliminating the law's "tax-penalty" for failing to purchase overpriced health plans.

* Reforming the federal judiciary by appointing judges that follow the Constitution.
  ** nominated two Supreme Court Justices.
  ** nominated and Senate confirmed 83 federal judges for Courts of Appeals and District Courts.
  ** may well appoint a 3rd justice to the Supreme court.

* Energy initiatives like the approval of Keystone XL Pipeline that opened the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge to exploration
  ** withdrew from economically unsustainable Paris climate agreement
  ** reformed National Ambient Air Quality Standards
  ** rescinded Obamas deliberately cumbersome hydraulic fracturing rule
  ** expansion of offshore drilling
  ** defanged disastrous Dodd-Frank "reform" legislation that strangled
     *** credit unions
     *** community banks
     *** regional financial institutions

* foreign policy and defense.
  ** moved Israel Embassy to Jerusalem
  ** withdrew from outrageous Iran deal
  ** re-imposed nuclear-related sanctions
  ** initiated historic summit with North Korea with aim to denuclearize Korean peninsula
  ** changed rules of engagement with ISIS resulting in the liberation of nearly all Iraqi territory.
  ** dramatically increased military funding to more than $700 billion for 2018

* Criminal Justice Reform, that several administrations devoted lip service. Had Obama passed criminal justice reform, he'd be hailed as hero by media, black leaders, black community and ACLU, but Trump did it, so, crickets. Instead Democrats, media, and Robert Mueller want to take down Trump precisely because he's been so successful.

[Eh, not really. Mueller is covering for FBI DOJ malfeasance, they're attempting to protect their agency's reputation, so grievously damaged, and spare their agencies rightful reform]

China cuts tariffs on 700 more items

American Thinker.

This is the third round of tariff cuts this year. China said that it's part of its efforts to open up the economy and lower costs for domestic consumers. That's true. But the decision was made because of pressure from Trump.

Trump. Not Obama. Not Bush II. Not the Clintons, Not Bush I, Not Ronald Reagan, Not Carter.

The rate cuts are temporary indicating they are a bargaining chip for discussions with Trump administration.

A few more words at the link. And comments there are pure art.

Soldier in Iraq Tells President Trump, "I came back into the military because of you"

Powerful moment - Member of United States Army told the President he came back into the military because of him. And President Trump responded, “And I am here because of you.” I met him after and he gave me the patch from his arm. Incredible. #TrumpTroopsVisit pic.twitter.com/WmQf3b2K8X

— Sarah Sanders (@PressSec) December 26, 2018

Please retweet this for our Troops and for @realDonaldTrump so everyone sees this.

President Trump and Melania were welcomed in Iraq by our troops on Christmas.

The USA chants will bring pure tears to your eyes. What a Christmas moment. pic.twitter.com/AlaVcUhLF9

— Anna Paulina (@realannapaulina) December 26, 2018

More nice things at the Gateway Pundit. 

The commenters there get a bit sidetracked. 

Collapse of Anak Krakatau

The mountain erupted and a large amount of earth slid into the ocean triggering a deadly tsunami that struck coastal areas along the Sunda Strait.

Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency conducted satellite observations of the areas around the island and the data analyzed by comparing before and after images.

And there goes another perfectly good volcano. 

A few more words at mainichi.

What the media isn't telling you about this year's holiday spending

 I'll get to it. Bear with me. Or skip to the end if you like.

MAGA economics is a forceful shifting from Wall Street economics with its emphasis on global industries, production and services to Main Street economics with its emphasis on domestic industries, production and services.

As a result of Trump's policies, America is doing better relative to other nations. Therefore, expect the stock market to be shaken. And it was. In a very big way. But now it's back due to the confidence shown by consumer spending over the holiday season. In a very big way. Natural for a consumer driven economy.

But for how long? Nothing has changed in the colossal shift of MAGA policies. And nothing has changed in the Wall Street focus of economic reporting.

<anecdote>
On Christmas I walked into a small party already in progress. The first words I heard were, "Now would be a good time to invest." (I'm guessing, because the stock market is so low)

I said, "If you were confident about about your presumptions, then it would be worth it to invest with borrowed money in a very big way."


NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo. NOOOoooooo.

All around.

See how conservative all my liberal Hillary-voting media-heeding bumper sticker reading late night show watching friends are?

There is no way on Earth they'd ever borrow money to invest in something so uncertain as the stock market. They are not that confident about what they are talking about.

Yet, had they done that to the tune of a few hundred thousand on Christmas day, they'd be millionaires the next day. That's how shockingly sharp the increase was in one day!

Then sell.

Because nothing has actually changed. There's still a shift from global to domestic and all the reporting is still all Wall Street oriented. You'll have the cash to buy back if the market holds steady.

And if you were savvy then you'd set aside your anti-Trump biases for the sake of being wealthy and accept his policies as dominant and invest in domestic industry, production and services, for solid present day investments.

But that is not possible. Nobody I know and speak to will see this.

It's in the dna makeup of economists that tariffs are bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Every economist learns this. It's axiomatic. Always. Because it's the opposite of free trade.

Unreported, is the situation we're in is already the opposite of free trade. That's what we're living in presently, chugging along poorly. Free Trade is a myth. That's the false premise of our global economy that has all our treaties to US disadvantage and to the advantage of everyone else. Trump's MAGA policies are intended to match at least partially the tariffs and layers of clever non-tariff barriers already held against the United States. The ultimate goal is to have all economic barriers lifted. That is the objective. But until then Trump is giving our trading partners a sour taste of their own medicine until they can agree to lower their unfair barriers against American productivity.

But because it's Trump, and because it's American tariffs, all the reporting is bad, bad, bad, orange man bad.

[I'll only mention that even the Federal Reserve has been patently politicized, although they'll be quick to shout otherwise. They buttressed Obama's miserable economy by lowering interest rates to the point of negative interest rates, and I cannot even see how that works, to the extent of forfeiting control over their main tool of affecting the economy because there was no place left to go. Had they not then Obama's economy would be even worse than it was. They did what had never been done all to buttress Obama. And then sharply reversed their practices with Trump by  raising interest rates immediately and sequentially thereafter unnecessarily effectively sabotaging Trump's booming economy, making it worse than it would be. The Federal Reserve interfered to the extent that it can interfere. They will tell you it's to regain the control over their main tool, adjusting interest rates, and to check inflation, but at this point it's obviously political.]

So expect that to be reflected in the stock market that is oriented toward international businesses.

The tell of Wall Street oriented analysis and all of economic reporting is in the manner of reporting between years. The media takes their signals from Wall Street analysts, as they must because they  are the hired experts.

In 2017 regarding seasonal sales, not just Christmas buying, the figure includes purchases of automobiles, appliances, home upgrades, car tires and the like, the media reported, total retail sales added up to a record $598 billion dollars -- up $33 billion from last year.

In 2018 media reported, U.S. consumers spent over $850 billion this holiday season, suggesting a stock-market swoon and partial government shutdown haven't curbed consumer confidence spending.

They had to throw that in. Their reporting would be incomplete without their vapid dig at orange man.

F. U. Media. You purposefully omitted that's up an astonishing jaw-dropping $252 billion from last year!

252/598 = .42

That's an incredible unbelievable 42% increase over last year's seasonal spending, but our Media cannot tell that to their viewers because tariffs bad, orange man bad, government shutdown bad, stock market instability bad. Bad, bad, bad.

You're supposed to be miserable, not satisfied with more jobs and with pay increases and with lowered taxes. Your consumer driven economy is supposed to be miserable because Wall Street analysts said so because they are miserable with the astoundingly massive shift they cannot control.

All because of horrible orange man.

If you like, notice the Wall Street-based questioning from reporters and analysts to a former Walmart CEO. The analysts simply cannot internalize MAGA policies are shifting ineluctably from an emphasis on Wall Street globalization that largely deemphasizes America, to MAGA policies that emphasizes Main Street economics and to the economic wellbeing of Americans.

Coconut milk

The guy is pimping his juicer machine but it's still interesting even if you don't care about that. He shows how to open a coconut and how to remove the white portion used to make coconut milk. Coconut is used for things like chicken in Thai cuisine, and other countries for a variety of things, while his coconut milk is used immediately for drinking. He's not just selling machines. He is a true life-style practitioner. He really is trying to do his part to improve people's health as he understands nutrition.

<anecdote>
I encountered a skinny old man dressed ridiculously in a young man's brilliantly colored lime green and white tight fitting, bizarrely patterned cycling clothing, cycling shoes, cycling hat, cycling gloves, the whole bit, bent down low to the floor futzing around the bulk bins for shredded coconut at Whole Foods.

Clearly a nutter.

Walking up and standing next to him I asked him, "What are you going to do with that?"

He looked at me.

And looked. And looked. And looked. I just stood there as he examined me. Assessing me.

I had put on my plain wide-eyed innocent boy face and held it.

He was trying to determine if I was worth answering. He was judging whether or not my question is sincere. I was expecting him to tell me to f off.

He decided my question was real and I merited the time of answering. He launched into a protracted discussion about  how he makes coconut milk from the shredded coconut in the bulk bins. He adds water and processes the shreds in a blender. Then strains it through cheesecloth and chills it. It forms a layer of fat that he either removes and uses any number of ways as fat, or blends it back again and drinks it. Or else doesn't chill it and uses it to cook, a bit thick, as coconut cream. Or drinks immediately with the fat in it. He does this everyday. He spoke a very long time, very detailed, like a teacher speaking to a classroom. Making sure to not leave out anything.

He answered every followup question I asked him with tremendous patience and detail as a religious practitioner would to a convert. For example:

"Isn't it hard finding all that cheesecloth?"

"No." Then he told me where he buys cheesecloth, substitutions he uses, and how it is cleaned and re-used.

And:

"Do ever buy regular coconuts?"

He expounded on his experience with regular coconuts.

And so on. For an unusually long time. And I had only started shopping. This is at the front of the store. There was nothing in my little shopping cart. And I'm standing there thinking, "Damn, if everyone here turns out like this man then my little shopping trip could end up taking all day."

Best not to engage everyone.

I really was curious so I bought some coconut shreds from the same bin and tried what he described. And it worked. But the coconut milk is all the eh and I only used half of the coconut shreds. The rest dried out so completely that I threw it away.
</anecdote>

Amazon [coconut knife]