Toot’s Shors Saloon, April 15, 1951
After a workshop at the Actors Studio Arthur Miller decides to go slumming and goes across the street to Toot’s Shors Saloon carrying a copy of Albert Camus “The Stranger.”
Toots: Hey Artie you fuckin' Bloshie how they hanging.
Arthur Miller: Good evening to you Falstaffian vulgarian. I have come in for a small libation.
Toots: Hey there is someone I want you to meet. Might loosen you up a little (walks Miller over to a banquet where Marilyn Monroe is sitting with her agent) Hey Kid, I want you to meet Artie Miller, he’s an egghead and a commie but a nice guy even though he is afraid to show it….Artie this is Marilyn Monroe.
Marilyn: (in a breathy sexy voice) Hi Artie. Nice to meet ya. (She stands up and extends her hand shyly and extends her hand)
Arthur Miller: (Shakes with Marilyn and stands awkwardly, puts hands in his pocket) Hello Miss Monroe. I actually prefer to be called Arthur.
Toots: Hey lets siddown and have a couple of pops.
Marilyn: That sounds like fun. (Marilyn sits down opposite Arthur, and as she does her legs are slightly open. She is not wearing any underwear and she lets out a gentel queef) So Arthur what do you do?
Arthur Miller: I am a playwright Miss Monroe.
Marilyn: Wow you must be a real egghead like Toots said. What is that you are reading?
Arthur Miller: Oh just something by Camus. I feel very existential tonight. That’s why I am out with proles.
Toots: Wait a minute, she ain’t a pro.
Marilyn: You must be very smart. How do you keep all those words in your head? You probably can fit an entire library in you head.
Arthur Miller: Not really. It’s normal for an educated person and not anything you should brag about.
Marilyn: On the other hand I bet I can fit your entire penis in my mouth
Toots Shor: Blleeaaaahhhh (spits out his drink he’s laughing so hard) Marilyn: What do you think about that Artie
Arthur Miller: I think that is definitely something to be proud about. Check.
Toots Shor: (still laughing) Don’t worry about it kid it’s on the house. Youse guys go out and get all existential on each other.
8 comments:
Come on, Troop, Marilyn never emitted any stinky odors!
Miller was a gifted playwright, but he never wrote a good role for Marilyn. She should have hit on William Inge. William Inge and Marilyn were on the same page........I wonder how Marilyn would have fared as Holly Golightly. The real Holly was probably someone very much like Marilyn..
That's an on the money insight, William. Marilyn and Inge were on the same page. Of course, Inge was an infinitely deeper playwright than idiot commie Miller, just my opinion. And that includes the ridiculously overrated Death Of A Salesman.
The thing is that Inge had a female sensibility. A broken hearted female sensibility. Which makes his best work genuinely heartbreaking. As opposed to simulated heartbreaking.
Holly Golightly was a character in Truman Capote's Breakfast at Tiffany's. Inge would have been more interested in dating Truman than Marilyn.
It's true that Inge was a 'mo but sans the flaming 'mo sensibility that infested so much of the oeuvre of Truman or Tennessee. There I go again with oeuvre!
Saroyan, towards the end of his life, when he was already semi-forgotten, predicted that his work would be rediscovered again and again. Frankly, I don't think that's going to happen for Saroyan; I think it will for Inge.
Does anybody care? I do!
Saroyan, eh? Could not name a single thing he wrote - looked him up - what was he, some sort of off-brand Steinbeck? Checks his list of work - oh, here's something that should be interesting "The Filipino and the Drunkard" - sounds very familiar...
Wait. I thought that was Shouting Thomas's autobiography?
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