Vandals snipping optic cables in California

Arstechnica has been reporting this, now they report vandals keep cutting cables and they keep doing it with impunity. Grrr. This is why we can't have nice things. They report 12 hundred feet of line was damaged affecting tens of thousands of AT&T and Verizon customers, disrupting internet, mobile phone and 911 service. The article details the repairs require 192 pairs of fiber to be refused and adds that is a ton of capacity.

And I visualized the horror a guy fusing 192 pairs of fibers and it didn't seem that bad, actually, and it didn't make sense. So I invented for them a fiber optic splicer to make their repairs more smoothly and lessen down time and get people back in business more quickly. I think I'll call it the fiber optic clip and sell it for 50¢.

I'll market them in California. I'll make a fortune. Because that's 50¢ EACH so a connection would be a whole dollar. I prepared a GIF to show a line being repaired multiple times because the vandals keep hitting it and every time they do I get, what, 10¢ probably each connection, net profit.