Focus only on the important things. If you're having trouble with family, forgive their transgressions and apologize for your own. It's very liberating.
If that doesn't work, sit down, have a drink. It can make the above a little easier.
Suggestion: Be the visitor, not the host. The ideal would be to have everyone meet in a clearing in the woods - best in more southern locales. It was in the 40's here last night, but we had fires burning inside and out. Come on global warming - lets do this.
Keep expectations low. Hard to do if you have a lot of small children but still....keep it low key. A few presents that mean something for the kids and not an extravaganza of useless crap that will be tossed aside in a few weeks.
Have a few family traditions that are also low key and fun. One thing we used to do as adults was a sort of white elephant gift exchange. Everyone bought something quirky or funny or different with a spending limit. Usually under $20. Silly T shirt, some weird coffee mug, a ridiculous poster, stupid hat....or something cute and functional but still cheap!!! Cheap!!!
The host wraps up one extra gift so that if there are ten people there are 11 gifts. Wrapped and anonymously placed in the pile in the middle of the floor. Everyone draws numbers from 1 to 10 and the first person picks out a gift. Not their own. Unwraps it and either everyone laughs at the joke gift or is envious of the weirdo gift. The next person has two choices. Take #1's gift or pick one from the pile. If #2 takes #1's gift then #1 picks from the pile. Then #3 gets to pick from #1 or #2 or pick from the pile.....and so on until all the gifts are gone but the extra one at which point.....we are all pretty sloshed and laughing. The last gift goes randomly to the person who wins in another drawing of 1 to 10 High number or low number wins and gets the extra gift.
Kids can do this too, but they need to be old enough to understand that someone is going to take your gift whether you like it or not. So usually we opted the kids out until they were able to handle the concept.
Lots of fun, low expectations, no one is out doing any one else giftwise.
Also what Bagoh20 says. Be the visitor and not hosting a huge event. Personally, we avoid the big family events anymore because of the chaos and stress and find a reason that we can't attend but can come and see everyone a week or three later.
Have your brother upload videos of his kids opening presents.
He had the videos private but they wouldn't display for me so he changed the setting that makes me think he'd prefer them private.
Oddly, the younger boy is first. That surprised. me. He doesn't know anything, not even how to read a label.He's a bit of a dope. He just wants one of the boxes to be his. James gets his box for him but he fails to tear into it, his older brother comes out and now interest shifts to him opening his box. He doesn't know anything either, not even how to read a tag. He opens it by tearing little pieces like a dog will pick at it without any understanding how it's wrapped. They showed zero excitement or very much interest in the new toys. I didn't see them get at toys inside the boxes and play immediately. Nothing at all like that.
More like, "what the heck is going on now? " James is telling them those boxes are theirs. And it's all the, "Oh."
The other videos are the boys dancing goofily and for a moment in synch and apparently with real words, so something they listen to, and the rest regular home life.
HIs wife takes a seat at the kitchen table where a small gingerbread house is centered and for a few frames there as she sits and glances back at the camera and slides into the chair, at James holding the camera, looks exactly like a Vermeer painting, and I mean exactly that earth-level type of beautiful and that graceful, and I mean it. The chaos of the boys balanced by their encouragement and patience.
They're in their cartoon underwear and they hop around like spider monkeys. She pulls shirts over them and drops them into pants and they instantly turn into two handsome little gentlemen, an astonishing impossible transformation and suddenly they all look brilliantly martially disciplined, all three males in buzzed haircuts. They do look great with controlled hair. They look like behaved cadets when they have clothes on and like little irrational monkeys in their underwear.
I fashioned an envelope that fits with the same card stock and tied it with a string.
On the back wrote: YOU
On the front wrote: Merry Christmas to you.
Set it in the hallway away from my apartment.
I heard little pitter patter of a child running the hallway. They cannot walk it, they must run. That's one thing that makes kids adorable. A hallway must be run. Remember that? Remember when you were a kid? I hope the little kid got the card.
In recent years we've been able to reduce Yuletide stress by deciding what we really want and need to make the season bright and peaceful and stepping away from the rest.
Earlier this afternoon, however, we shook hands and said goodbye to the hook and ladder guys who'd arrived with sirens on and lights flashing to drop firebombs down our chimney after the creosote in it caught fire. The first clue of trouble was a roar, thought at first to be wind, then the visual awareness that the flames from the burning logs in the fireplace were starting to reach out and not up with a draw, resulting in a trip outdoors to see fire coming out the top of the chimney with the cap glowing orange in the heat.
As with the flying fairy story, there was a burst of action following the initial, "oh No!" including a call to 911. The emergency flue-fire extinguisher situated next to the fire place turned out to be a dud, perhaps expired after years of sitting there unused while the creosote continued to build. Closing the damper, dousing the logs with water, putting the cats on the screened porch where they could be safely retrieved if needed, and getting ourselves out of the house while listening for the firetruck to arrive, was next.
The good feeling of seeing them pull up ran alongside fear over what was happening which involved them going up on the roof to drop multiple fire bombs down the chimney, while sending what appeared to be the youngest of the crew up into the attic to crawl through and determine spread. Thankfully, the fire was contained to the chimney and hadn't yet reached the structure. They then set up a huge fan to blow the smoke out of the house, which caused the creosote to start glowing again, with more bombs required. When all was said and done, they left with the caution to watch for signs of re-ignition and have the chimney inspected and cleaned before using the fireplace again; after which we returned to the house, to release a pair of worried cats and watch the skies open up to drop buckets of rain where we'd been previously standing.
All of which means no more Yule logs for us this year. Christmas is over, yet also present in goodness realized through steady and dependable people, who stood ready and willing to help us in the face of danger and possible loss. For this we are grateful.
My wife retired Friday the 18th after 42 years in nursing. Sunday the 20th was our 30 year anniversary. The 24th was wife's birthday, 66. Then Christmas of course. It has been a stressful week... just deal with it, one moment at a time.
Mama, Sorry for your troubles. If I were a prick I would say burning that white trash pine wood is the problem, but that would not be very Christmasy. Glad you're OK. You have a great perspective on this ripple, as you do the big things.
The Pope gets slammed here a lot. I slam him on his Global Warming obsession. However, his point about how consumerism has gotten out of control is correct. I hate presents, for any event. I particularly don't like getting them. I prefer acts. Doing a kindness. Cooking a nice meal. Running a license plate for a neighbor concerned about a suspicious car. Helping a woman whose son is in jail. Shit like that.
20 comments:
Focus only on the important things. If you're having trouble with family, forgive their transgressions and apologize for your own. It's very liberating.
If that doesn't work, sit down, have a drink. It can make the above a little easier.
Merry Christmas.
Sleeps
Suggestion: Be the visitor, not the host. The ideal would be to have everyone meet in a clearing in the woods - best in more southern locales. It was in the 40's here last night, but we had fires burning inside and out. Come on global warming - lets do this.
Keep expectations low. Hard to do if you have a lot of small children but still....keep it low key. A few presents that mean something for the kids and not an extravaganza of useless crap that will be tossed aside in a few weeks.
Have a few family traditions that are also low key and fun. One thing we used to do as adults was a sort of white elephant gift exchange. Everyone bought something quirky or funny or different with a spending limit. Usually under $20. Silly T shirt, some weird coffee mug, a ridiculous poster, stupid hat....or something cute and functional but still cheap!!! Cheap!!!
The host wraps up one extra gift so that if there are ten people there are 11 gifts. Wrapped and anonymously placed in the pile in the middle of the floor. Everyone draws numbers from 1 to 10 and the first person picks out a gift. Not their own. Unwraps it and either everyone laughs at the joke gift or is envious of the weirdo gift. The next person has two choices. Take #1's gift or pick one from the pile. If #2 takes #1's gift then #1 picks from the pile. Then #3 gets to pick from #1 or #2 or pick from the pile.....and so on until all the gifts are gone but the extra one at which point.....we are all pretty sloshed and laughing. The last gift goes randomly to the person who wins in another drawing of 1 to 10 High number or low number wins and gets the extra gift.
Kids can do this too, but they need to be old enough to understand that someone is going to take your gift whether you like it or not. So usually we opted the kids out until they were able to handle the concept.
Lots of fun, low expectations, no one is out doing any one else giftwise.
Also what Bagoh20 says. Be the visitor and not hosting a huge event. Personally, we avoid the big family events anymore because of the chaos and stress and find a reason that we can't attend but can come and see everyone a week or three later.
Goes without saying but: ***Flying princesses in close proximity to raging fires.
When is Christmas this year?
Have your brother upload videos of his kids opening presents.
He had the videos private but they wouldn't display for me so he changed the setting that makes me think he'd prefer them private.
Oddly, the younger boy is first. That surprised. me. He doesn't know anything, not even how to read a label.He's a bit of a dope. He just wants one of the boxes to be his. James gets his box for him but he fails to tear into it, his older brother comes out and now interest shifts to him opening his box. He doesn't know anything either, not even how to read a tag. He opens it by tearing little pieces like a dog will pick at it without any understanding how it's wrapped. They showed zero excitement or very much interest in the new toys. I didn't see them get at toys inside the boxes and play immediately. Nothing at all like that.
More like, "what the heck is going on now? " James is telling them those boxes are theirs. And it's all the, "Oh."
The other videos are the boys dancing goofily and for a moment in synch and apparently with real words, so something they listen to, and the rest regular home life.
HIs wife takes a seat at the kitchen table where a small gingerbread house is centered and for a few frames there as she sits and glances back at the camera and slides into the chair, at James holding the camera, looks exactly like a Vermeer painting, and I mean exactly that earth-level type of beautiful and that graceful, and I mean it. The chaos of the boys balanced by their encouragement and patience.
They're in their cartoon underwear and they hop around like spider monkeys. She pulls shirts over them and drops them into pants and they instantly turn into two handsome little gentlemen, an astonishing impossible transformation and suddenly they all look brilliantly martially disciplined, all three males in buzzed haircuts. They do look great with controlled hair. They look like behaved cadets when they have clothes on and like little irrational monkeys in their underwear.
Also, give away your pop-up card.
I fashioned an envelope that fits with the same card stock and tied it with a string.
On the back wrote: YOU
On the front wrote: Merry Christmas to you.
Set it in the hallway away from my apartment.
I heard little pitter patter of a child running the hallway. They cannot walk it, they must run. That's one thing that makes kids adorable. A hallway must be run. Remember that? Remember when you were a kid? I hope the little kid got the card.
Drink. A lot, then run around naked for a while. Quite liberating and enjoyable. If members of the opposite sex join you, even better.
I have tried alcohol and I have tried food. Palliative at best.
I have not tried nudity yet.
Dang it! Meth beat me to the correct answer. Although, make sure everyone else gets naked before you.
Hi fellow patriots!
Sorry I haven't commented lately.
Just returned from Paris and London and it was abs fab!
There was like a 4 year old child in first class with us-and he was muzzle-dad was checking me out.
Anyway I hope all you had a wonderful holiday!
tits
In recent years we've been able to reduce Yuletide stress by deciding what we really want and need to make the season bright and peaceful and stepping away from the rest.
Earlier this afternoon, however, we shook hands and said goodbye to the hook and ladder guys who'd arrived with sirens on and lights flashing to drop firebombs down our chimney after the creosote in it caught fire. The first clue of trouble was a roar, thought at first to be wind, then the visual awareness that the flames from the burning logs in the fireplace were starting to reach out and not up with a draw, resulting in a trip outdoors to see fire coming out the top of the chimney with the cap glowing orange in the heat.
As with the flying fairy story, there was a burst of action following the initial, "oh No!" including a call to 911. The emergency flue-fire extinguisher situated next to the fire place turned out to be a dud, perhaps expired after years of sitting there unused while the creosote continued to build. Closing the damper, dousing the logs with water, putting the cats on the screened porch where they could be safely retrieved if needed, and getting ourselves out of the house while listening for the firetruck to arrive, was next.
The good feeling of seeing them pull up ran alongside fear over what was happening which involved them going up on the roof to drop multiple fire bombs down the chimney, while sending what appeared to be the youngest of the crew up into the attic to crawl through and determine spread. Thankfully, the fire was contained to the chimney and hadn't yet reached the structure. They then set up a huge fan to blow the smoke out of the house, which caused the creosote to start glowing again, with more bombs required. When all was said and done, they left with the caution to watch for signs of re-ignition and have the chimney inspected and cleaned before using the fireplace again; after which we returned to the house, to release a pair of worried cats and watch the skies open up to drop buckets of rain where we'd been previously standing.
All of which means no more Yule logs for us this year. Christmas is over, yet also present in goodness realized through steady and dependable people, who stood ready and willing to help us in the face of danger and possible loss. For this we are grateful.
- Don't buy anything other than food until after Christmas. With everyone you care about, agree to no presents.
- Don't agonize over what doesn't happen - I.e., the big, ideal Christmas. Let what you get be sufficient.
- If your mom and dad want you to go to church, go with them. The regret -- when they are gone -- will be worse.
- Plan for a "my Christmas" day or event. It may come before or after, it may involve others, or just you, but it's "your" Christmas.
Thanks, everyone!
Bago, DBQ, I hear you about the hosting. You have to do it sometime, but usually it's best to leave it the ones that really enjoy it.
rh, you rom-com softie, I'm not buying it. You've probably watched While You Were Sleeping ten times this holiday season.
What about me Debbie? Aren't I fab?
I was in fucking Europe Mary flying first class!
*Any suggestions to lighten Yuletide stress?*
Here's my suggestion: carpe diem on account of tempus fugit.
Other than that, I got nuthin'.
My wife retired Friday the 18th after 42 years in nursing. Sunday the 20th was our 30 year anniversary. The 24th was wife's birthday, 66. Then Christmas of course. It has been a stressful week... just deal with it, one moment at a time.
Mama, Sorry for your troubles. If I were a prick I would say burning that white trash pine wood is the problem, but that would not be very Christmasy. Glad you're OK. You have a great perspective on this ripple, as you do the big things.
The Pope gets slammed here a lot. I slam him on his Global Warming obsession. However, his point about how consumerism has gotten out of control is correct. I hate presents, for any event. I particularly don't like getting them. I prefer acts. Doing a kindness. Cooking a nice meal. Running a license plate for a neighbor concerned about a suspicious car. Helping a woman whose son is in jail. Shit like that.
It's a Christmas miracle, Mama M.
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