Continued adventures in low-grade alcoholism

With this post I hope to recapture some of the scorn, profanity, and abuse heaped upon me after my first cocktail post, my take on the Old Fashioned.

Tonight's drink:  Gordon's Cup.

This is no ordinary drink.  I'll have you know that I've received glowing compliments on this, and not just from slobbering yobs already half in-the-tank.  I've had sophisticated people, actual hoity-toity Europeans (well, dirty Swedes, but still technically Europeans) tell me it's the best cocktail they've ever had.  It's refreshing and somewhat dangerous, in that you don't taste the alcohol and could drink them like it's your goddamned job.

You'll need:

3/4 lime, wedged
cucumber, two 1/2" thick slices
1/4 cup gin
2 tbsp simple syrup
pinch sea salt
crushed ice

Details after the jump.



(Yeah, I know, that's Bombay Sapphire Gin.  It's nothing fancy.  I received it as a gift from my sister [the crazy one, who's actually on antidepressants, and once went after my brother with a screwdriver].  It happens to work adequately in this recipe.  If you have a better recommendation, let me know in the comments.  Be forewarned, however:  There are a few commenters who might well be my crazy sister.)

Also needed:  Muddler, shaker, tall glass

If you're one of those readers on a Freeman Hunt low-carb diet, then

a)  Jesus, life's too short, eat a cookie, and

b)  There are alternatives to conventional simple syrup.

Even with sugar-free syrup, this drink wouldn't be quite as low-carb as Freeman Hunt's own signature cocktail, the Screamin' Freeman:  Combine 3 drops of rainwater with a tumbler-full of pure grain alcohol; garnish with a human adrenal gland.

Perhaps you're a normal carb-consuming person, but you're unfamiliar with simple syrup.  In that case I'd better present:

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Tool lemma:  Simple syrup

Bring equal parts (by volume) white granular sugar and water to a boil; stir continuously for a few minutes til sugar has completely dissolved.  Remove from heat, let cool a little, and pour into glass container.  You can store in the fridge, and you can add a little vodka if you're worried about it spoiling, but I don't bother with either.  The ingredients cost pennies and it takes 10 minutes, so if you buy simple syrup in a bottle, you should probably punch yourself in the balls.  Go ahead, do it right now.  We'll wait.
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Back to the Gordon's Cup:

Chill your tall glass by filling it with (normal cubed) ice and water.

Muddle the lime, hard, in the bottom of the shaker.  Add the cucumber and muddle that too, but don't turn it into mush.

Add gin, syrup, and ice; add just enough ice so that the total contents of your tumbler equals the volume of your tall glass.  Shake tumbler til it frosts.

Dump the ice and water out of your glass, and dump the shaker into the glass (no straining).  Sprinkle sea salt over the top.  No straw for this drink -- some drinks are better with a straw, but not this one.

This photo may appear blurry to you.  Rather than
impugn my photography skills, perhaps you'd better
slow down on that gin, buddy.